Health & Fitness Ramblings

Mothers, let your babies grow up to be coders

2012-01-31T20:45:00.017-06:00

Every good engineer I know has some degree of Asperger's autism, obsessive-compulsion and attention-deficit hyperactivity... myself included. It's a recipe... it's what we're made of. We were easy targets for bullies to intimidate because we don't understand the social graces. What we do understand is that we can always be better at what we are. We stand alone. We thirst for knowledge. We must focus. Thus, with smug detachment, we continuously and repeatedly learn and apply what we know to obtain experience. With knowledge and experience comes not only the many significant contributions to space and science, but also success over bullies.

Engineers contribute. I've contributed to produce many a machine. I've been published in over 140 technical reports, conference and journal papers, newspaper and magazine articles... even a poem about a machine. And I am now mentoring many young engineers to how to quench their own thirst.

The true engineer flowers late. We surpass and outlast the smug bullies and suave louses. I've had the satisfaction of ordering a burger from one of my school bullies... no fries with that... who had trouble giving me back change for a hundred dollar bill, at which I smiled. At one of the reunions, the bald fat captain of my High School football team tried to sell me insurance, as the fat former head cheerleader flirted, at which I had to laugh.

It's possible we might even outlive them.

- © 2012 by Willy

Singin' In The Rain

2012-01-08T15:24:00.014-06:00

When hiking solo in the rain, I splash with reckless abandon.

Time passes faster, I smile more, and I enjoy this variation on the hiking theme. I have fun, just like when I was a kid.

My daughter reminded me of how much fun this is ("Dad! You have boots!"), mostly because we can hike faster through the mud rather than around it. My boots completely submerge at times. It IS loads of fun. "What a glorious feeling" said Gene Kelly in the movie soundtrack and its movie ad. He was having fun too, in his city street setting.

I did a familiar 7-mile, 700-climb-feet hike in the rain today, and I've done it often. This trail stays underwater at the flats.

I crossed a young runner, a younger dog walker and three even younger mountain bikers on-trail, and they were soaked. I had an umbrella.

I've taken care of friends, dogs, children, wives and more. Now I'm taking care of myself.

On the trail, I pray, meditate, think and sing. I always have a tune in-mind, to pace myself. Today's was Singin' In The Rain.

Also today, I got a bloody knee... next to the park bathroom. The devil keeps me humble.

- © 2012 by Willy

Christmas With The Fam

2011-12-25T19:25:00.023-06:00

I have spent a few great days with family for Christmas.

It was fewer family and fewer days than last year (which was a hoot and a half), but delightful and certainly worth the trip.

OK, here we go: Why? Because some of us are getting old, and some of us are sick; because good family is a gift to be appreciated and treasured; because we enjoy and love each other; because we wanted to check on each other and ourselves; because we ARE touchstones to each other; because of the hugs and kisses; because of the stories and conversation; and because, just like last year, we laughed so much that we cried tears and our abs hurt.

My 92-year-old aunt declared she's made a pact with God... that unless she's going up, she's just not going. We wondered if it was really God she was making that pact with. Then my brother cousin-in-law tells her that she would indeed be able to do that cruise she's always wanted if she went in a shoebox.

My nephew second cousin, back home after a breakup, was discussing a girl wearing a bathing suit with its neckline down to her bellybutton. I asked him if they use double-sided tape for that. He was incredulous, and said who cares how they do it... except maybe for an engineer.

I noticed my sister cousin gave everybody flannel pajamas... because South Florida had a few freezing nights recently. So, why also give everyone wallets and purses? (I wanted to know who had won the lottery!)

And some of us just acted a little goofy.

Oh, and the food was great, the weather beautiful, and bicycling terrific... as always. Thank you, guys. I will be heading home the slow way, missing everyone but remembering fondly.

- © 2011 by Willy

Another Year Sets

2011-12-20T18:50:00.024-06:00

Amazing! Christmas is about here and another year is down. This one went as fast as a whirlwind!

What did I do? Contributions at work, serious hiking, some bicycling and regular weightlifting. I watched more sunsets. I fed the creatures. Got a better diet lifestyle. Did some socializing. Best of all... developed better discipline.

What did I get accomplished? I finally got everything fixed in my old Vette, it runs great and I drive it regularly. I painted most of the house outside. I maintained my old physical self. I got a National Park Senior Lifetime Pass. And I discovered that my mental self has discipline enough to weather multiple storms simultaneously.

What do I want to do next year? Of course, shed a few pounds. But I want to think about what to do for the next... 30 years.

Why?

Because my favorite aunt has lived to that rich old age, and blesses me with her wisdom and counsel. It's been time for me to do the same.

I found out that most of us really are self-delusional. That life is really about the fantasies. When I was a foolish young man, my fantasies might have been fast cars and loose women. Now that I'm an old man my fantasy is that I'm indispensable at work. The current fantasy is useful as a goal to keep me getting up in the morning due to the self-importance of what I do, but it won't do in retirement.

Or maybe because I want to use that Senior Pass just like the Vette uses Midas mufflers.

Do I really want to be around more years? Thirty of them!? I'm not sure. If so, there's gotta be a need to live, community in depth-and-breath, and planning and discipline.

Also, it would help to see any problems coming... in order to accommodate or compensate.

- © 2011 by Willy

Sing Song

2011-11-24T18:08:00.019-06:00

"Love me tender, love me sweet, never let me go..."

I've been hearing that refrain all day, perhaps due to my noticing of tomorrow's play of the 1956 Elvis movie on the tube. I whistled it continuously during my long Thanksgiving day before-dinner hike today.

When I was a kid... before Elvis... my mother sang a fairly similar lullaby. I felt very cuddled in hearing it. In turn, I hummed this Elvis tune to my kids to relax them at bedtime. Not only that, but I still self-medicate to this ditty. Lullabies are meant to function just so, and work amazingly well.

I'm in the midst of some turmoil: A nutty young punk threatened to beat me up and has evoked memories of early school bullies. I've been sleeping with a shotgun, and Elvis calms me down.

Or perhaps I was hearing God's lullaby.

Prayers can be the darnest things... whistling a lullaby!

More conventional: "For exercise to calm the body and prayer to calm the mind, I am truly thankful, amen."

It's best to accept the situation, prepare for a possible eventuality, and go through channels... calmly.

- non-Elvis text © 2011 by Willy

Fall Is Finally Here

2011-11-12T17:09:00.014-06:00

Finally! My heel spur plantar fasciitis tendinitis has fully healed (it took four months!), and I've been out hiking in gorgeous fall weather. I have missed my therapeutic time in the woods. I'm back to nice multi-hour hikes.

Hiking through a rain of falling leaves today was both thrilling and healing.

I've also resumed other cardio, such as gym classes. I'm happy again!

- © 2011 by Willy

No More Drama

2011-10-27T18:07:00.016-05:00

There are always people out there with a screw loose. I used to think that with a big enough screwdriver, I could fix 'em. But, no, I've had enough in life already. It's time to avoid them when possible. Yes, I may have to accept them to some degree when it is not possible to avoid them. It's a decision to be made and I'm now clued in... I figured it out: It's not a yes or no, not black or white, not diet or exercise, not machines or people... I like the right kind of people. Just like getting the right kind of car. It's a shade of gray. And this acceptance makes for good mental health, albeit it being conditional or partial acceptance.

- text © 2011 by Willy

P.S., no, I will never own an Italian car either.

Things Happen

2011-10-10T14:29:00.026-05:00

Personal best happen and races get won, just like injury happens and we get sidelined... good things happen just like bad things do.

Is this luck?

I don't know when something is luck and when it is providence, but I believe in preparation: Good things happen when preparation meets opportunity, and you will be given the opportunity if you are prepared. There is no real control over opportunity but I sure can be prepared. I believe in training. Train like you play, because you will play like you train. I also believe in a higher power just like I believe in this chicken-and-egg cause and effect.

So, do we create our fate?

Both good and evil are out there. Evil is everywhere. Evil is not ugly and firebreathing, but charming and beautiful. It mesmerizes and seduces you until it makes you doubt yourself. Yes, evil functions best when nobody believes in it. Our decisions create our fate, and our decisions are based upon both good and evil influences. Things happen due to influences. I pray that my Father gives me the strength of character to keep me from temptation and deliver me from evil.

I'm going to stick to solo exercise and diet no matter the injury, no matter what shape I'm in, how stressed people make me or how attractive they are... whatever the siren song. I have faith that there just might be a reason to stay prepared.

- © 2011 by Willy

Recovered Back To Bicycling

2011-09-25T16:01:00.019-05:00

The bane of my existence has been injuries. Yes, I admit it... even far worse than divorce, since divorce has happened far fewer times, and I've been rather klutzy. I'm an engineer, not a jock.

During the past couple of months, ever since I developed heel spur plantar fasciitis tendinitis during training, my regular cardio exercise has been swimming. There was no mp3 player and no scenery... I just followed the painted line in the pool, over and over again. Since I'm blind as a bat without glasses, I can't even delight in googling swimsuit beauties.

To me, my plantar fasciitis means a tendinitis tear between heel and arch, on the outside rather than the arch side. I am stressed and the foot tries to supinate. So, I have to think the feet to relax. The body tries to repair this tear/swelling using calcium and I get a heel spur. I've had this many times... my left foot being rather finicky. Walking and hiking on the swelling makes it worse and keeps the injury from healing. It will take months to heal.

The unloaded spin bike was OK, but did not elevate my heart rate like it should for conditioning. And bicycling outside hurt, specially uphills. Today I did a slow and flat one-hour ride, with minimal pain... and only at the end. I had a great ride. I was glad to be out, enjoying the sun, listening to the critters and dodging the cars. Today I had a delightful breakthrough. I will ride once a week and continue swimming so as to heal. I expect the elliptical on tiptoes is next, and will wait for healing before going hiking.

We heal slowly but surely... day by day.

In all aspects.

- © 2011 by Willy

Following The Poop

2011-08-25T17:55:00.022-05:00

The mule poop, that is.

On doing the Yosemite High Sierras camp loop hike.

Summary: Last year, a group of us older adventurers put in for, and one won, the Park Service lottery to rights to get Yosemite park High Sierras camps loop hike reservations for the next season. Eight of us went. It was wonderful.

Getting to Yosemite from San Francisco airport uses a winding and slow road, which we drove at night. We spent that night at the Cedar Lodge just outside the park, and went to see crowded Yosemite Valley ("downtown") the next day to do the tourist thing. The second day we drove to Base Camp, spent the night and began to hike the loop. We completed the high-altitude, mountainous, five-camp, seven-day, fifty-five-mile loop... uneventfully and utterly amazed.

The High Sierra camps provide dinner, tents with cots, and breakfast. Lunch while hiking was granola bars or whatever we brought but a sandwich can be bought each morning. This means a light pack and luxury camping/backpacking, even though the loop is rugged, spartan and primitive. We hiked unguided but there is a ranger-guided option.

Views were amazing: balds, canyons and water. There was lots of water due to snow melt from twice the usual snow this past winter. It did not rain during our trip. Beautiful wildflowers lined our trail. Trail condition and signage was great. On-trail mule poop was everywhere (mules carry supplies to camps) and served as reassuring trail blazes or connect-the-dots.

Stats below are from my pants-pocket-carried Garmin 60CSx GPS. Besides miles and time, this GPS also computes up-only climb-feet, a great measurement of effort. Note that the group sometimes got strung out and different people came in at different times. Gary was fastest, then Diane, then me and the rest. Also note that GPS altitude does not often match a map's.

- On 13-15 Aug 2011, Gary, Diane, Suzanne and I did Yosemite Valley from Cedar Lodge, just outside the Park. I unfortunately had developed persistent heel spur plantar fasciitis tendinitis due to trying to break-in new boots, so I saved myself for the loop. I had originally trained to climb Half-Dome up to the cables.

- Day 0, the 16th: drove to and met Geanine, Ray, Carolyn and Skip at Base Camp for the High Sierras camp loop start at Tuolumne Meadows camp "lodge" (ja!), altitude 8720 feet. We ate burgers at The Grill, next door to the gas station. These three were the entire civilization at the Tuolumne area.

- Day 1, the 17th: hiked an easy 8.2 miles in 5 1/2 hrs with 1520 climb-feet to Glen Aulin camp, elev 7980', which had a water limit, due to sewer limits, due to being in the watershed to Hetch Hetchy reservoir, where Frisco gets 80% of their water. They served good food. We had a great campfire sing-along led by an 80-year-old lady guest. Glen Aulin camp had a beauuutiful waterfall.

- Day 2, the 18th: hiked moderate and beautiful-vista 8.8 miles in 7 hrs with 2820 climb-feet to gorgeous May Lake camp, elev 9360', with a beautiful reflection of mountain on lake. A family of husband, wife and daughter run the place very well (he's been there 10 years). Great food, very organized, showers and washtub with wringer, and the best camp by far. It would be definitely worthwhile to go there again, and it is an easy 1-mile hike from a side road.

- Day 3, the 19th: hiked 10.2 tough and painful climb miles in 7 hrs with 2650 climb-feet to Sunrise camp, at a huge alpine meadow, elev 9360', and stayed two nights. Sunrise camp season is only 3 weeks this year, was closed until our start due to snow melt flood and thus ineffective leach fields (we were formulating a Plan B). Had a million-dollar shower and toilets building but there were lots of mosquitoes and temperatures were freezing overnight.

- Day 4, the 20th: stayed at Sunrise for a rest day.

- Day 5, the 21st: hiked 10.4 moderate miles in 7 hours with 1350 climb-feet to Merced Lake camp, elev 7300'. On the way met a 15-person, four-generation group hiking to Sunrise with 75-year-old grandma and 80-year-old grandpa. Grandpa had fallen, was not doing well, and was getting helicoptered out when he got to Sunrise's meadow. Merced Lake camp is the furthest and least supplied, and of least altitude of all the camps, but still very cold at night, with lots of flies rather than mosquitoes. It had a drip for a shower and a sink for laundry but no washrag nor soap nor paper towels... and skimpy food. Too spartan, it was the worse camp but still appreciated.

- Day 6, the 22nd: hiked 9.2 miles in 8 1/2 hours with 4969 thin-air, high-altitude climb-feet through a river canyon, over a beautiful pass and through a gorgeous saddle meadow to Wogelsang camp, elev 10200'. Yes, here's where Suzanne said "And we've got to climb THAT?" There was no mule poop in this trail. It was a very tough hike (steep, cold and windy, with snow on top) but the views, especially from the south side of the pass, made it worth it. It was a moderately cold camp, laid out on rock, with lots of mosquitoes. Good food. No shower or opportunity to wash. Still, this one also would be definitely worthwhile to again hike (a 7-miler) there just for the view from the pass, and for the saddle meadow, or to backpack and camp at the meadow instead of at the camp.

Wogelsang (and other) camp food can be reserved without reserving the tent, still using the lottery.

- Day 7, the 23rd: hiked out a glacial canyon, a very painful (due to my heel plantar fasciitis) 7.6 downhill miles in 4 1/2 hours with 580 climb-feet back to Tuolumne Meadows camp "lodge" Base Camp to pick up cars, drink beer, and drive partly out the park to White Wolf camp, to shower, dine and spend the night (still in tents!). On this hike from Wogelsang to Tuolumne, we passed a bunch of oncoming hikers and two mule resupply teams, so it was the busiest trail, probably due to Wolensang pass beauty. The White Wolf camp restaurant was very disorganized, the dinner was disappointing and the mosquitoes were the worse, but we were back in civilization, and we were tired.

- On the 24th, we drove down or south to classy Wawona Hotel lodge to gawk at the Mariposa Grove of giant sequoia trees. On the way there my three traveling companions hiked several waterfalls. I had had enough heel pain already and so stayed in the car to finish an Arthur C. Clark book I picked up at Sunrise. Wawona is a grand, old, historic hotel lodge that reminded me of my grandmother's beach house due to its big wooden porch. We met the other four there. It was a beautiful hotel, and dinner was great.

- On the 25th (today), we all drove back to Frisco and are spending the night in a motel, ready to get home on our early morning return flight tomorrow to clean up and and wind down.

- Conclusion: The loop was six camps in seven days for about 55 miles and 14,000 climb-feet, in luxury. And we had pre- and post-loop activities.

That was our adventure. We followed the mule poop.

This report was tapped into an iPhone on-trail.

- © 2011 by Willy

Breaking In New Anythings

2011-08-15T12:03:00.005-05:00

I made the mistake of trying to break in new hiking boots... a revolutionary new model ("Airs") that promised to be gentler on my heels. Instead, the boots broke me... gave me an awful case of heel spur plantar fasciitis tendinitis just in time for a planned hike.

I knew better, but... mesmerized by the promise... I forgot.

I have had recurring trouble with my left heel for over twenty years. That heel is very sensitive to new shoes and boots to the point that...

- I have been using the same make and model boot for the last 19 years, and

- When my running shoes model was discontinued, I bought four pair.

Lessons learned:

(1) Return the revolutionary boots with promise.

(2) Order a couple of old model boots before they are discontinued.

(3) Reject temptation. Quit getting mesmerized by New. Quit trying new boots, shoes, things, people, processes... new anythings. Instead, continue to evolve and improve on what I have and do, a decades-long evolution. Evolutionary is good and revolutionary is bad. Evolutionary is good and revolutionary is bad. I'd better remember this!

- © 2011 by Willy

Just The Basics

2011-08-13T14:07:00.007-05:00

Having had many busy weeks at work and beyond, I waited until the very end to pack for the latest adventure, resulting in a controlled panic. Yes, I always do this. To make it doable, what works for me is to keep everything hike-related in a huge duffel bag in my sports closet, including a check list.

I then separate items by place and function, depends on where and how I'm hiking. I am on the way to a two-week backpacking trip to Yosemite.

What goes into the wilderness itself goes in the backpack. Within that I have a bag for what I will carry in my pockets or person, like granola bars, whistle, tiny LED light, GPS, camera, sunglasses, DEET, sunblock, toilet paper, and etc.

I make a separate bag for the trip to base camp motel like extra clothing, snacks, cell phone, cell rechargers, reading material, car GPS, boarding passes, neck pillow for long night flights and etc.

So organized, eh? So, where was that blasted poncho!

OK, so I found it and finally got it together. Then I went through it all again, paring it down to the basic needs only: Out goes the rum (how did that one get in there?), the What-Ifs and redundancies. After all, I am an ultralighter... the most basic and smug of backpackers.

I have been an ultralighter since I was a kid, because I had nothing then. It was reinforced by a free spirit I dated in the '80s, and driven home recently by my daughter.

For instance, a light and small plastic hooded poncho with a tiny umbrella and hat saves at least a pound as compared to a heavy, bulky and sweaty multi-layered "breathable fabric" raincoat, and I needed that hat for mountain-top balds anyway.

Ditto re a coolmax liner or sheet instead of a light sleeping bag; chlorine-dioxide pills rather than a fancy troublesome reverse-osmosis pump filter; two tiny LED rather than a flashlight (redundancy needed here); a smaller tent; multipurpose bandanna rather than towel; two band-aids rather than moleskin; just floss, toothbrush and toothpaste (no comb, no razor, no deodorant, etc.); no radio/mp3; no cell phone if another group hiker is carrying his; no stove; and less food to eat, even.

I am realistic or careful enough to take a down vest, dry socks, backup disposable poncho, hiking pole and other safety-necessary items.

John Muir hiked Yosemite just carrying a loaf of bread.

I am trying to do Life that way too, getting rid of junk and junky people... and losing weight. Determining what is mental heath safety-necessary is big. Keeping just the basics.

- © 2011 by Willy

"You Look Terrible!"

2011-07-24T20:11:00.011-05:00

I was sweating enough to create a puddle on the floor, ending the second of three hours of cardio at the gym when somebody hit me. I open my eyes on the stationary bike to see Emily laughing. "You look terrible!" she said. I took the complement, got off the bike, wiped the sweat, chit-chatted, and got on the treadmill for an relatively easy last hour. She looks terrific, I told her, since she also exercises constantly. I actually do strive to LOOK terrible, since that keeps women off my back, but I can out-press anybody at the gym at 61 years of age (100-pound dumbbell sets, anyone?), plus out-hike most people except true endurance athletes. I am all about function over form. I drive a junker truck and live a low-key but adventuresome life. Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil.

I'm training for a two-week hike in Yosemite, and 3 hours of cardio a day is the minimum. I've been doing 6-hour 14-mile 2500-climb-feet hikes on the mountain on weekends. This weekend was a hot one, reaching 110 degrees, so I went to the gym today. Two weeks of vacation hiking is a long time for daily foot abuse, so I've gotten Nike Air hiking boots to cushion my heels, although they are VERY purple and gaudy, just the way Nike likes them. It's function over form here too.

Yes, life is good.

- © 2011 by Willy

What Makes Us?

2011-07-17T16:22:00.012-05:00

"Pressure Makes Us." - Nike ad, World Cup. Is that it? Life philosophy in three words? What about time to enjoy family, friends, a pretty sunset and other?

As a very young man, I had pressure to excel and get the heck out of my bad family situation. Pressure did make me, and I have significantly contributed to technology... and still do. I had ideas as a young man and attempted many, with mixed results. Not having a baseline to compare to, I do not know what kind of unpressured man I would have turned out to be otherwise. The difference from then to now is that lately I have seen more opportunity, have more means and more capability... but take less risk. I suspect that I finally learned what pressure and pain are and thus have modified my endeavors, i.e., I've gotten tired of my head being in a vise. I am more afraid of some things but fearless in others: afraid of intimate relationships but fearless in adventure, whether physical or technical.

What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger, and I realized that relationships can kill me.

In summary, and in hindsight, I liked the pressure that made me. Family was a mixed bag and I did a better job of picking my friends, most of which I do still enjoy. I am awed by every sunset that I see, but I enjoy them better when I am by myself. Pressure made me what I am, and I am solo.

So, yes, "Pressure Makes Us," and it IS a life philosophy in three words.

- © 2011 by Willy

It was a dark and stormy night...

2011-06-28T21:27:00.012-05:00

"It was a dark and stormy night," or so Snoopy's book always starts.

If you're thinking this way, then you are going through another of life's little disappointments which may be unwelcome but are always expected.

We can't change the wind but we can set our sail. The sun will come up again tomorrow. The tide ebbs and flows.

We all get through these downers and on to yet another high.

I have had my own struggles at work and elsewhere. They're not as bad lately. I had divorces, an angry son, two unsuccessful dissertations, two hospital stays and other. Such is life.

My daughter is going through trauma now. I am proud of her and of what she has become. She has a great goal, she is resourceful, and she will get through this too. I'm glad that she's gotten herself some help. I think of her and pray for her several times a day. I look forward to her continued growth and her bright future... but it is her future, and she has to do it.

- text © 2011 by Willy

Yet Another Adventure

2011-06-17T18:15:00.009-05:00

Life has been busy, with no time for blogs. I continue my fantasy that I'm indispensable at work, I've been trying to clean up home after some tornado damage, and been training hard for my multiple summer hike adventures.

I nicely completed two back-to-back hikes. The first in The Smokeys followed by an A.T. hike in northern Virginia and West Virginia... going up LeConte with old folks, followed by multiple rollers in VA-WV with my daughter, and a home mountain hike my last vacation day. I was proud of myself, having done 8, 8, 17, 16, 5, 0 and 10 miles of hilly terrain in a week. Not bad for an old man, and good training effectiveness ("train like you play"), even though we did violate our established rules.

I continue training for an upcoming two-week Yosemite trip... up Half-Dome, then a circuit in the High Sierras.

- © 2011 by Willy

Reflection

2011-05-15T19:05:00.004-05:00

"Only when I was alone, in quiet and reflective moments, did I have not only clarity but an inexplicable inner peace... a peace that exceeds human understanding." - Mike Huckaby on his decision to not run for president (believe it or not!), 13 May 2011.

That could have been Henry David Thoreau, or just about any monk on the planet.

Peace, reflection and mental health go together.

Solitude is underrated.

Old Men Aging Well

2011-04-26T21:02:00.027-05:00

Five of us old guys at a nice German restaurant had just finished a good dinner. The fraulein, dressed for effect, was showing us a dessert tray. One of us said "Look at that!" and all of us looked at the desserts rather than at the amply endowed waitress. After we drooled and ordered no-sugar, low-fat cheesecake, another said "Yeah, you can get the dessert a lot cheaper than the girl."

The youngest old guy had just told us that he's just gone through a divorce in which he lost pretty near everything. My own divorce drove me insane and took a couple of years to recover.

Pitiful, but expected... both about the dessert versus girl and about the divorce settlement. This is the South, where the judges are biased. One urban legend goes that the feds, a few years ago, entrapped a judge in chambers after a divorce ruling with a wired undercover policewoman on her knees and his legs spread open for payment. And the women start preparations for divorce before they marry, believing of marriage as a very good tax-exempt long-term capital gains investment. Sex has always been a currency for women. Men will throw away their whole lives and their careers for sex.

What a sad state of affairs.

The solution: Some of us finally learned to order dessert. That is a decision that we can still make that will prevent a future problem.

OK, solved that problem, let's go on to another.

None of us old men had a good solution to the economy. What's a solution to the plundering of this country by some politicians, bankers and CEOs working in cahoots? We must be insane to let them get away with this, we can't just order dessert to solve it, and it will take a lot more than a couple of years to recover... it will take throwing more bums out by electing fiscally responsible people. And where can we find responsible professional politicians? WHY does anyone want to run for office? What's his gain? Anyone who will do whatever you have to do to get elected shouldn't be allowed to run for office.

How about something like jury duty or military service draft? Twenty-five years after college graduation you are inducted into office... compulsory... for one term. This may be even better than term limits, and/or Tea Party. Heck, let's try something different... what we are doing now is not working.

You think about it while I go to the gym and work out that cheesecake.

- text © 2011 by Willy

Which Is Scarier?

2011-04-19T20:49:00.018-05:00

Once upon a time, if a tall ladder didn't do it, you used two and got it done. But things have changed.

On the one hand, many politicians, bankers and CEOs are brazenly robbing the tax-supported treasury to the staggering tune of trillions while grandstanding and BS-ing us. The infrastructure is crumbling and Nero is playing the fiddle, and somebody keeps re-electing and re-hiring these crooks... other crooks, perhaps.

On the other hand, the "young" have languished. Most are a waste: overindulge; don't grasp the concept of work; chose part-time, dead-end, low-paid work instead of striving for better careers; passively amble about, caring more about their looks than their careers; live irresponsibly avoiding paying bills or sharing duties but use their disposable income for frills; and/or deal with anxiety by completely withdrawing from society to the point that they lock themselves in their bedrooms and belittle parents or spouses while parents or spouses allow and enable them. They BS us too. It's the gime-gime-gime entitlement mentality. They have no sense of purpose. They have no dreams. And they refuse every chance to do the right thing. Love and kindness is wasted on them because they will always be unhappy. These ahole parasites don't contribute.

In the middle is us.

I'm not sure how to fix it because I can't even explain it... we somehow lack the mental health to do it. I see a crash coming.

I'm not sure which is scarier, but I'm scared. I don't like it and don't want to accept it nor develop a positive but false attitude of hope about a rosy future. We need to proactively develop a real nasty, kickbutt attitude instead... an "I'm mad and won't take it anymore" one.

Lord Jesus have mercy on us.

- © 2011 by Willy

It Does Matter

2011-04-04T20:07:00.021-05:00

Lending a hand with loving kindness can change everything.

Does the flap of a butterfly’s wings in Brazil set off a tornado in Texas? Edward Lorenz in 1972 stated that the flapping wing could cause a chain of events leading to large-scale phenomena.

We each start changing the world the second we are conceived. Day by day, action upon action, smile upon smile, act after act, one decision after another we form our character and that of others, and change the world in significant ways. If a butterfly's wings affect the environment, what you and I do matters powerfully... beyond our imagination.

We're stronger when we think. Life is a game in which every act that we undertake... working, hiking, helping... each of those choices is a move, and every move forms the next, and that changes us. One action has a chorus of consequences. Like moves on a chessboard. The way to win is by playing.

Nothing in life comes without a struggle. The butterfly struggles out of its cocoon. Turmoil, conflict and chaos are all parts of life. Screaming and laughter occur simultaneously in every playground, and in every life. Out of that mayhem come relationship, love and joy.

Life is always surprising.

We are always stronger than we think.

We can't control everything but we can think and control ourselves and by that we indirectly affect others. Every new decision is another chance to do the right thing... it's all about what you do next.

Everybody matters. Everything matters. Everybody and everything is connected. Pass it on.

- © 2011 by Willy

P.S., The problem is the aholes... Lord Jesus have mercy on me.

I Am Many

2011-03-18T18:43:00.034-05:00

It had rained much. Huffing and puffing, hiking fast solo on the trail yesterday, I could hear Jennifer saying, "You've got boots, dad... just step into that mud." So I sank in the bog a couple of inches, powered my way forward without losing my boot, and lost no time. Later, going hard on a steep uphill, "Lengthen your stride." Soon Dallas was saying, "Shoulders back, man." Most of the time I was hiking I heard various priests from the past saying "Miserere nobis," to which I added "for your people in Japan, Father," in virtual community. Then I increased tempo and intensity.

A couple of weeks ago while pulling up front against cold wind on my fat tire commuting bike, spin class instructor Ed's comments were with me, "Use your quads. Pull those legs up. You won't win any events unless you do," and Roger's, "Forget about pushing the pedal, that will happen all by itself." So, I concentrated on pulling up. Then Karen's "Relax that upper body so you'll have blood for your legs" came through. So I relaxed wrapped onto the bars, concentrated, and increased to 18, still shivering but no longer wishing I had a second layer.

A week ago while on TDY, I wondered around downtown and I heard Jon, "Watch for the gypsies, put your wallet in the front pocket," and Joel's "Know them but don't meet their eyes. Do discipline of the eyes." At the food court it was Anna saying "More fruits and vegetables!" And then "Good thing you took a taxi," yes, thanks whoever told me that, if any. I'm getting old and I need discipline and safety, not that kind of adventure. Then I went back to the motel and worked a machine for an hour and a half and walked 20 flights of stairs.

I've been carrying a lot of people with me, but they feel light. They're my brothers and sisters. My Father, the head coach, coaches me through them.

- © 2011 by Willy

Miserere Nobis

2011-03-15T20:26:00.011-05:00

+ In the name of the Father, the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

Father, the people of Japan need your mercy. Their souls are on their knees. They are suffering the consequences of living in this world. Lord, I ask that you touch them, wrap your arms around each one of them. I pray you.

I pray for courage for your people and our neighbors, for strength to bear the unbearable, for the grace to remember what they have left instead of what they have lost. Help them tap those hidden reserves of faith and courage that are available to us.

Our Father, please be with them. We need you and we call to you. Calm them, accompany them, open their eyes, and help them deal with their problems. Offer them a way up and out of their predicament, so that they can further praise Your holy name, and so that they can help others in Your name. Come to their aid. We are asking Lord, and ready to accept You, to heal their body, minds and spirits... your way.

Lord Jesus, you held out a hand of mercy to so many who look for your help. Take hold of their hand and see them through this time of trouble. Grant them the courage to greet each new day. Renew their faith in your healing touch and help them to put their trust entirely in you in the days that lie ahead. Keep them close to you, that they may find comfort and peace in the nearness of your unfailing love.

Enlarge their thinking, be with them, keep them from evil, help them with their burdens and keep them from grief, amen (1 Chr 4 10).

Holy spirit, I ask you to minister to their spirit at this very moment. Where there is pain, give them your peace. Where there is self doubt, release a renewed confidence through your grace.

I lift them up to You, Father, and into Your hands I commend my spirit and theirs.

Father, take this burden from them. There's nothing else they can do. It's happening. It's out of their hands.

Lord have mercy on us.

+ In the name of the Father, the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, amen.

-not copyrighted, by Willy

Back to Regular Hiking Training

2011-02-20T20:24:00.010-06:00

The temperatures have moderated, the ice and snow are gone, but the heavy cloud cover remains. Without sun, there are no "pretty" hikes. The clouds, however, are gorgeous.

I'm back to my fast-stepped mountain hikes. My favorite is a 6 1/2 to 7 mile round trip. Half of that is a 500-700 foot climb, then the second half is flat and downhill. To motivate me, I took an mp3 player and Stevie Nicks, Barry White and other 112-130 bpm songs. It's tough to keep that pace uphill and for that long. Hills provide good training, and fast pacing makes it so, plus the sentiment of "My Everything" when applied to a Higher Power is uplifting and thus further motivational. This fast-paced baseline/calibration hike keeps me breathless but usually results in around an hour and 42 minutes, including breaks. The resultant computation is 3.8 mph overall, which is a blazing fast hike, although not a run.

It provides good training but, this early in the season, tires me and makes me sore. It is a prelude to longer hikes, which have to be fast in order to get them done in a day. My favorite local long hike is Flat Rock at 14 miles and 2400 climb-feet in a leisurely 7 hours. Reaching Red Lizard is even more challenging. These long local hikes themselves are training to be able to hike the real mountains in Rockies, Yosemite, Whites and wherever.

Challenge and training go together.

- © 2011 by Willy

Did Watson Really Win?

2011-02-18T19:34:00.016-06:00

So, "Watson," the IBM mainframe with artificial intelligence won at Jeopardy against the two best human opponents. It also thought Toronto was a "US City" (the category) and got every question wrong on "Month," a five-in-twelve guess! IBM will surely tout it as a PR win, but it was a dreadful performance for 25 scientists, four years of hard work and a mega-million bucks. Watson should have answered every question right, and first. I have a sneaky suspicion that, given a learning curve, the two humans could have beaten Watson, but that would not have been good PR.

Why did Watson do so badly?

The engineer would say that you're always one transistor away from failure. The athlete that he's one injury away from a loss. The old that he's one sickness away from bankruptcy. Algorithm guys should say they are one human away from being human. Humans think conceptually, whereas machines exhaust logic trees by brute force. Deep Blue beat Kasparov but Eliza is awful. Machines are profoundly ignorant of what humans take for granted. There's a lot of stuff we know that we don't even know we know.

Watson did badly because our AI algorithms just aren't there yet.

Should we worry about our own idiocy instead? What about our own human thinking, which only works when void of emotion? Should we work on our mental health instead of developing artificial intelligence?

Further, Watson really did not play against two humans... rather, Watson and the two humans played Jeopardy, with little interaction. The devil is in the interaction. For instance, even if we hold out for perfection, it may be that perfection is holding out for perfection too... and not us. And we may not recognize perfection even if it whacked us in the head.

One final point: There's a lot of difference between losing and being a loser. The two Jeopardy humans are not losers, and neither should we call ourselves that. Imperfect works just fine, and it's human. Perfection is God's business. We should be proud of being human... accepting, embracing it and applauding it.

We don't yet have to worry about machines taking over the world... no Terminator scenario yet... but Watson did well for a four-year-old toddler.

- text © 2011 by Willy

Pre-emptive Strike

2011-02-10T19:29:00.018-06:00

I left work a little bit early yesterday when the sleet started. Yesterday's frozen precip froze into solid ice sheets overnight, so it looked like yet another boring day at home today. I did have two technical reports to work on, but then I had them a month ago when I got trapped home for three days.

So, in 20 degrees and some wind, I slipped my reports into a backpack, dressed in boots and down, and hiked down my hill to my favorite coffee shop (with binoculars, I could see cars at the coffee shop, so it was open). It was a nice adventure, even though it was only a couple of miles. I walked on crunchy frozen grass and slipped a couple of times at driveways. At the coffee shop I sat by a window, had breakfast AND lunch while working on the reports, and even took a picture of the house.

It felt good to have fought my anxieties with this preemptive strike. It was exhilarating... no feelings of being trapped today.

I was thinking of walking to the gym afterwards but reduced the risk and just went home instead. It was another couple of miles and maybe a 400' climb to get back. Tomorrow morning's early spin class will come soon enough, and things have dried out enough by tonight to drive, even though temps will be in the teens. Besides, I hiked 5 hours on Sunday, lifted Monday and yesterday, and did abs and step classes on Tuesday.

Being proactive and preemptive is the solution for the heebie-jeebies, whether trapped at home or trapped in a relationship, and makes for good mental health.

- © 2011 by Willy

P.S., I'm confused. I thought I lived in the south, so what's with this continuing snow and ice?

Dallas Waxing Eloquently

2011-02-02T20:26:00.013-06:00

OK, so I've weightlifted with my buddy Dallas for twenty years now. He's usually quiet but every now and then the Holy Spirit comes out and he gets philosophical. That happened tonight.

I mentioned that I did not want to hurt this massage therapist's feelings and Dallas responded with "Did you miss your first day of Codependents Anonymous? Where you stood up and said 'Hi, I'm Willy, and I am not responsible for anybody else's feelings.'" "Oh!" I said, "Let me write that down... that's good," as I reached for my cell phone while he did some reps.

That wound him up and he hardly paused, continuing, "I remember Doctor Smith telling me the three different types of dependency:"

Lord, I trust you to take care of me, and not some other things or people. - Prayer of the dependent.

Lord I trust you to take care of me, and not me take care of me. - Prayer of the overly independent.

Lord I trust you to take care of the people that you bring into my life, and not me take care of them (don't be quick to take care of them). - Prayer of the Codependent.

"Unconditional love is a fantasy. People can't do it. Can only get it from God. God desires to fill my vacuum. People try to fill it with drugs, sex, money, muscles and etc." Amen to that, brother.

Free After Three Days

2011-01-12T18:23:00.011-06:00

Spin bike for three days of being snowed in, followed by walking the stairs and doing various pushups. Then working on work stuff I had brought home.

Boooring.

But I broke out today!

After three days, a plow... actually a front-end-loader-backhoe... came by the neighborhood and carved a path in the snow and ice. Unfortunately, it shoved a lot of that snow and ice right into my parked cars (my driveway is too steep). It took me an hour and a half of shoveling to free the van (a good back workout), but then came freedom. Sweet freedom. I shed that ball and chain. No more heebie-jeebies. Trapped no more.

Lordy, how in the world did I ever think I could be in any kind of relationship?

- © 2011 by Willy

Cabin Fever in Two Days

2011-01-11T15:07:00.007-06:00

OK, I KNOW now that I'll never retire. I've been snowed in just two days and already have cabin fever.

My neighbor Joanne says it's that us guys are just not used to being home. She might have something there.

Businesses are closed but my next-door neighbor Randy tried to drive out and got stuck in the snow instead and my across-the-street neighbor Larry has cleared the snow off his driveway. There's about a foot of snow in places, which means our vehicles would just push snow forward like a plow.

The snow won't go anywhere until it warms up on Friday, which means that I'm going to have to do a foot patrol recon tomorrow, or I'll go nuts!

GO nuts?

- © 2011 by Willy

Goals Vs. Resolutions

2011-01-02T18:15:00.012-06:00

I don't know all the answers but goal setting seems better than new year's resolutions. Goals force the discipline that enables the journey.

Also, goals like big hikes... instead of a resolution to stay fit... inspire and motivate me.

This year I'll be doing a two-week High Sierras hike besides the traditionally tough one-week hike with my daughter.

Last year I noticed that I'm going for quality of life. That is, I chose to avoid slow suicide due to overweight-related old-age problems like diabetes, high blood pressure, strokes and heart attacks. And in order to do so I must stay fit through diet and exercise. This would give me independence in old age.

Besides, I enjoy nature, so I enjoy my long hikes... and being able to do them is a goal too. Circular logic, isn't it?

And having discipline with this helps me with "that." Lots of "that's."

I'll be using meditation and solitude with my discipline for training, but with a lot of community help.

- © 2010 by Willy

Ethnic Christmas

2010-12-25T20:24:00.015-06:00

Us old Cubans make a big deal about having a family Christmas.

Like salmon, we all return to our spawning ground, Miami. This year my trek was by way of Ft Benning and Tampa. Last year we included Mobile and Jacksonville. Despite the work, bother and overload, deciding to attend was good and the family reunion was wonderful. It was fun seeing the family, retelling old stories and making new ones for our kids to tell later. For instance, my aunt told us that, as a young kid, I used to eat earthworms, a new revelation my daughter delighted in.

Family reunions are good mental health. And the bakery goods were delicious.

- text © 2010 by Willy

My Wives

2010-12-22T22:40:00.045-06:00

Daughter Jennifer did not like her from square one, when Aussie, my GPS, kept saying "make a u-turn" but I kept going forward. "Make a u-turn." I just laughed, first at Aussie and then at Jennifer's frustration. I said "she's just like a wife."
"Make a u-turn," Aussie insisted.

Jennifer and I... and Aussie... were driving down to meet my retired, close, cousin at a west Florida beach for a family reunion Christmas tradition. As we got closer to our unfamiliar destination, I followed Aussie's instructions. Aussie took us down through downtown Tampa, traffic light upon traffic light, then back up north to the beaches. Jennifer looked up at me and remarked "she's your wife!"

Aussie is one of my wife-substitutes, just like Jan is my massage wife-substitute, Monica my housekeeper, Mary my doctor, Anna keeps me on diet, Kirstin and Karen for spinning and yoga fitness training, and so on. I need them and depend on them, as well as my work helpers and my buddies, to get through life. Some times I do what they say, but not always... just like with a real wife, sometimes I AM smarter than my wife.

These are all dependent relationships. They may be business or social, and may have brotherly love or kindness. Obviously there is no romance, otherwise they wouldn't last, since I am no good at romantic relationships and relish the calmness of solitude at home. No delusions, and no problems, either. Some of these relationships date back a lifetime... much longer than my real marriage... probably because I got to go home.

I do what I can with what I've got... but I've got plenty of help. Thank God for them. And thanks to my Godsends.

"Recalculating."

- © 2010 by Willy

Our Humidity

2010-12-18T20:45:00.014-06:00

Ice flower?

Visitors often complain about our humidity, but our Southern humidity is free skin moisturizer and lung hydration... no leather skin nor bronchitis here. It also provides a beautifully green outdoors by nurturing trees, growing wildflowers and watering critters to multiply in abundance. Humidity also creates clouds that look gorgeous in the colorful splendor of every sunset. Humidity tenderly envelops, holds and cradles us. We get health and beauty not possible in the west, except for the Pacific Northwest.

And in early winter we get ice flowers, which happens when air temps are freezing but wet ground is not... some wildflowers wick water up and out, creating beautiful and delicate sculptures... until the sun melts them.

It's in how you look at it: May all your weeds be wildflowers. Life is good.

-© 2010 by Willy

Can't Do Solitude

2010-12-04T19:05:00.028-06:00

Engineers are antisocial creatures that would much prefer to work behind a locked door, occasionally getting fed. They are different from others in that they excel in solitude. But, like perfection, solitude is just not attainable. In addition, it's been shown that solitude is not healthy. There is happiness in community, and even Trappist monks have community. Can't stop the world and get off.

For example, one engineer who struggled with this issue his whole life finally retired to a cabin in the remotest Yukon. Year in and year out, he relished his newfound solitude. One day he hears a pounding knock, opens his door and is amazed to find a character at his doorstep.

The burly guy says "Hi, I'm your next-door neighbor, 30 miles south, here to invite you to a welcoming party this Saturday night."

There is a sled outside and his dogs are barking.

After a long pause, the incredulous engineer finally says "Welcoming party? Out here?"

"Yep" says the character.

"With people?"

"Yep."

"With music?"

"Yep."

"With drinking?"

"Yep."

"And carousing?"

"Yep."

"And sex?"

"Yep."

"How many do you expect?"

"Just you and me."

- © 2010 by Willy

P.S. Solitude is a choice. Loneliness is not.

To Some Degree

2010-11-27T18:49:00.024-06:00

People are not good or bad, not black or white, but shades of grey and hues of colors. We are all different, and we don't all think alike, but there's more to it than that. It seems to me that we all may have some amount of mental illness, i.e., we're all a little crazy. Specifically, it seems to me that the recipee for a good engineer scientist is equal parts smarts, anti-social, Asperger's, OCD and ADD/hyperactivity... or otherwise they wouldn't be good engineers.

Every good male engineer or scientist I've known had some degree of emotional issue and came unequipped to cope. The nerdy, geeky engineer's only saving grace was that he made a good living. Unfortunately, that drew the wrong girls. The engineer then got distracted by relationship and subsequent marriage and lost his edge, therefore losing his career, his marriage, his assets and his mind. The girl that understood did quite well, considering marriage a profitable business arrangement with a long time-constant. The engineer was not interested and didn't understand the expectation, time sequence nor duration and repeated the process a few times in his lifetime, bumping into love, when he should have instead understood what he is... good technically but incapable of social interaction nor romantic love. Read Einstein's life (or the many others). And, yes, me too.

The young engineer that understands early on, and does not succumb, has an tremendous, fulfilling career of significant contribution and great mental health. The engineer that understands in mid-life does contribute, to some limited extent, and finds calmness in life with the help and brotherly love of friends. The ones that never get it just waste their lives.

It would be like a tall thin kid trying to wrestle, or a powerlifter trying track. It just don't work. Gotta use your given talents.

- © 2010 by Willy

It's All About What We Want

2010-11-20T20:40:00.019-06:00

Yes, it's our choice, it's our mindset, and it's our attitude.

My front yard has a brick flowerbed with a variety of planted flowers. Out my front door I see gorgeous sunsets every evening. The back yard always has wildflowers blooming, beautiful fall leaf colors and year-round wild animals and birds. I feed, plant and enjoy it. I find it comfortable, soothing and entertaining... and good for my mental health. But I confess that I will see a beautiful view even if I was looking at a brick wall. Just because I want to.

I also stay very busy at work, where I think of myself contributing and indispensable, with daily battles between right and wrong. In a visible setting, in spite of reprimands, I help good people... anonymously when I can... and stay away from the bad. Because I can and want to.

I don't have tinnitus, arthritis/joint/back pain and my feet don't hurt. Instead, I listen to people and do activities to the max. This in turn allows me to further enjoy sun and trees, sweat and wind... life. Because I want to.

I invite my Higher Power in, and my conscience is always talking to me. Decision are thought out in consensus. So it is all about what I want out of life. I've discussed this with my monk friends: it's all about evoking self-discipline, now; about continuously controlling thoughts and attitudes; and about discipline of the eyes. After some mistakes in life, I want to.

It's about watching your form while you lift. It's work, but otherwise you tear yourself up.

And it's about living the dream.

- © by Willy

Possible Solutions To Any Problem

2010-11-12T13:36:00.022-06:00

One solution is to embrace uncertainty rather than fight it.
Acceptance is a solution.
Reaching out with kindness.
Making a difference.
Accomplishing something.
Practicing how you play, and play how you practice.
Remembering that everything matters.
Injecting less libido and testosterone into the equation.
Do not reduce the other to a conquered opponent.
When all is said and done, the simple things in life
will beat the complicated every time.
Do the right thing, no matter the repercussions.
In every relationship, it helps to be a little deaf.
- Supreme Court Justice Ginsburg.
Do not stand in the way of a person's dream.
We can't choose how we feel but we can choose what we DO about it.
It's better to wear out than to rust out.
Do not confuse love with sex, or sex with love.
Be careful with the type of love you give and accept.
Look deep: character cannot be strengthened by makeup.
Fight the good fight, and finish the race.

- © 2010 by Willy but many anons except for Ginsburg's

Outdated or Wiser?

2010-11-07T15:15:00.020-06:00

The same things are true in life as in fitness and in faith.

Fall color is here and leaves are carpeting our trails. Fall comes and fall will go, just as sure as the sun will return tomorrow morning. But we learn more each year. This year I discovered ruins just beside my favorite hiking trail.

I am a 60-year-old engineer and am outdated in many things, but not The Big Picture. Yes, kids know eye-opening computer tricks and give me six significant digits of accuracy but oftentimes they get the first digit wrong... that is, they went the wrong way. Can't argue about results based on experience. We know that kids come and kids get old and go, and we all learn from each other.

The AIG/bank/wallstreet/auto bailout came a couple of decades after the Savings and Loan debacle. The economy is a shambles and we don't have the power to fix it, so we wring our hands until we remember that this, too, shall pass. It happened before and it will happen again. I have faith that as liberals come then liberals too will go. The tide comes in and the tide goes out. It ebbs and flows. Are the politicians protecting worthless bank assets incompetent or just crooks? Yes, and then they go, and we relearn not to trust them, or the banks.

We will discover the motivation to embark upon a good fitness plan... then receive an overuse injury or accident, and we stop to heal, and start all over again. Only this time we will risk less to overuse and pick where we ride.

We're living the good life and divorce happens and life gets sour. And life ebbs and flows again later. We get mad at God and then, in His time, we go back, wiser, and learn not to enter another relationship like that.

In my business, the cannon is as outdated as the slide rule, and so is the canon... all of the canons... because the truth is that nothing stays the same.

Life ebbs and flows, and there's much comfort and tranquility in knowing that, and accepting it.

- © 2010 by Willy

Intensity

2010-10-23T14:16:00.011-05:00

A little trail philosophy: Life's all about moderation in all things, thus intensity is key. Too intense and endurance suffers plus injuries happen. Not intense enough and we gain no training value and just waste our time. Did I say workout intensity or life intensity?

Crosstraining and tempo are important too. That is, I have learned that the intensity should vary with short periods (workout tempo), medium periods (each day different) and long periods (crosstraining).

About once a week I do an extreme-intensity short-duration cardio (when I go stupid that my legs won't move). A couple of times a month I do a hell of a powerlift single-rep workout of some body part (after a significantly 30-minute warmup). Also about once a month I do a high-endurance low-intensity cardio (a daylong hike). Several times a year I hike or bike for a week.

And I am very careful and very slow in introducing new stuff in my workouts and into my life.

This has worked out well for me... if I have the mental fortitude to stick to it. Sometimes I feel like I know the whole story and other times I feel like its completely out of control.

I've got to be careful about my passions, whether in health and fitness, with my personal life, or at work. One injury, whether physical or mental, and life goes awry for a long time. Since the physical and mental states correlate, one completely affects the other. Action reduces anxiety, and it does apply to both the physical and mental... I've found that the battle is not with or about another but within myself. A mental anguish state can have a physical fitness solution, or an apparently physical barrier can be overcome with the right thinking.

And that thinking had better be with the right positive attitude, with a smile on my face and happiness in mind, and both solo and in community.

- © 2010 by Willy

Give Until It Hurts?

2010-10-09T19:48:00.031-05:00

"You are my idol, Willy," said Charlie, the personal trainer. "When I get to be your age, I want to be in your shape." Dallas laughed. I took it as a serious complement and thanked Charlie for giving it to me.

It's said that, decision by decision, we shape our destiny. However, a good attitude shapes our destiny too, albeit passively. In other words, whether proactively or in quiet acceptance, we live the life we want, with God's grace. Practice how you play and you'll play how you practice. How you practice life is how you live it. We have awesome control over our lives and that of others, since life is a network of invisible crossing threads. Take the complements, and give them too. Recognize and thank the blessings in your life, and be one too. Fulfill lives. Pass it forward.

On the other hand, I give them the benefit of the doubt... until they hurt me. I've been hurt too many times, life is short and I've had enough. What's all this raving about: Somebody who had no clue asked if I wanted to rekindle the relationship with The Ex. It was so incredulous that it was funny. In response I asked if it was a cold day in the hell where she came from.

Why relationships and marriage? I do not subscribe to the idea that I will need someone there when times get tough, because times have been tough because of the somebody that was there... and then nobody was there and life went just fine. The concept that there's a need for a shoulder to lean on, a hand to hold and a willing ear is bogus because it costs much more than it's worth. I'll stick to buddies instead... guys and gals... without crossing the line.

Life's a circus, so send in the clowns.

[Daughter Jennifer is one of the two clowns at left... I forgot which.]

-© 2010 by Willy

We Are All Peculiar

2010-09-08T21:35:00.022-05:00

"Yep, he rode over a pothole that threw him. He broke his clavicle but also several ribs that poked and deflated a lung, sending him into ICU. He is now working from home."

"You guys are nuts! Why do you ride?"

"Because it's fun... most of the time."

I love to ride my bikes, just like I did when I was a kid. So, I do, when I can. I maintain and ride them all, with various degrees of success and frequency. And with a certain amount of risk. I have four bikes: my commuter hardtail with slicks, my Mtb four-link with Fox, my carbon road, and my very old, heavy and bulletproof college Schwinn 10-speed. And I'm always tinkering with them, cleaning and lubricating. I've had multiple accidents, some due to cars and some due to other cyclists. I've not had a solo accident since 1998 when I bought SPD-clip pedals, fell over at the first stop sign and bruised my ego.

Everybody has a peculiar love. My love is machines. I have a safe full of guns, from a scoped 30'06 to my .22 college Colt Woodsman, that I love to dissasemble and clean. Guns are risky too, especially due to idiots at the outdoor gun range. I have three cars: my old rusted "stealth" truck (women don't see me), my "locker-room" van, and my old Vette. Truck and Vette are tiny and have no airbag. So, my drug of choice is machines. My son's is computer games. My daughter is hooked on people.

All engineers like machines. A friend is into cameras, another has kayaks, and one has collections of collections stored in several garages. The older we are, the more we've accumulated, but I'm trying to reduce my junk to become simpler and more portable so that if I retire, I can fit into an apartment with bus access to give up cars. Unfortunately, I'm having a tough time deciding on a home for the Vette. I love the Vette. The Vette I ordered from the factory in September 1972 which now needs some electrical detective work and a new paint job, otherwise it's delightful, functional and pristine... which is what a machine needs to be, if not people.

Machines don't bitch and don't create a mess, but do require space, time and money... just like a wife and kids do. Even my iRobot Roomba vacuum cleaner dog-substitute requires an overhaul every three years. And all machines have risk as compared to not doing or having anything at all. But compared to people with their complexity, high maintenance, games played, outrageous demands, uncontrolled emotions and unsolvable problems... machines are no risk at all.

Less is better. Of everything... machines and people. Especially the love of.

-© 2010 by Willy

Change?

2010-09-05T11:29:00.023-05:00

Only babies like to get changed.

I like my life just fine the way it is, thank you. I like my routine because it keeps me sane amidst all the other change that hits me and that I have no control over.

Sometimes life is just a swirl of problems, especially this time of year... the government end-of-year. My world spins. Work has to be completed and reports are due, end-of-year money has to be spent, new year budget request are input. Everybody... but everybody... has things they want, new regulations to follow and demanded expectations to meet... in addition to my already overloaded schedule. I can do a better job if I stick to well-worn procedure and schedules.

At my touchstone, the swirling comes to a stop, albeit temporary. I stick to my routine of fitness and outside activities as much as possible, sometimes slightly modified, as I've done lately in training a buddy for his first big hike.

In early 2007, I updated the house to take care of ended-relationship emotional turmoil (one major change to help take care of another major change). I actually planned to sell but the mods came out so well that I kept the house... it would have been more change otherwise. But it was a year of pure hell. Not only did I grieve about the relationship end but also one night when I came home I found my mattress in the closet (and that's where I slept) because the hardwood guys put it there to get it out of the way.

A needed TDY to Hawaii? Not for me... send a kid. Invited promotion to an important and visible position? Not for me... get the other old guy. I'm just fine the way I am. And I suspect you are too.

And a corollary: I especially don't need some gal getting interested in me, because she'll want to change me.

-© 2010 by Willy

P.S., sooo... do you like the results of the change brought about by the new congress and the new administration?

"How do you hike outside in this heat?"

2010-08-17T20:41:00.017-05:00

That's what friend Didi asked.

I responded that it is like cooking a frog: You put the frog into a pot with tap water on the stove and then turn the heat on. I go hiking all-year-round, so don't realize I'm getting cooked. I also take a Camelbak full of ice and Gatoraide.

I bicycle outside in this heat too. If you think it's bad hiking in the forest when it's a 100 in the shade, try riding in 100 degrees under the scorching sun for a few hours. However, I love my long Summertime Sunday rides. I solo but also like to hike and bike with old, quiet friends I've long known and loved.

I like it hot and sweaty. And I like 'em hot and sweaty too. Oops, wait a minute... I've given up gals.

- © 2010 by Willy

Place?

2010-08-07T19:04:00.010-05:00

"Now go to your happy place... a place where you feel comfort, acceptance and love," said Karen the Yoga instructor.

Place? I'm happy when being active hiking, bicycling, weightlifting, running errands, feeding the ducks, reading, working, and meeting people to get things done. A pedometer revealed that I walk 4 miles a day at work. I'm seldom in my office or in my home. I'm completely hyperactive and I channel it to benefit. I may have high blood pressure and trouble sleeping but I love everything I do, I love every day, no matter what. Surrounded by blessings, I quietly and steadily make miracles happen.

I don't have a happy place. I have a happy journey instead... which gives me comfort, acceptance and love.

-© 2010 by Willy

Summertime

2010-08-05T20:59:00.034-05:00

"Didn't you get my text?" Dallas said. "It's 102 degrees!"

I had already done my cardio warm-up, my rotator cuff warm-up routine, and was doing light pecs and delts. The dumbbells felt hot to the touch, like a cast iron skillet on the stove. Sweating was profuse. It was a lot more than 102 inside that unairconditioned tin building of a gym.

"No," I said, "what did it say?"

Dallas made a face.

I put my dumbbells down. "Go home to your wife and your air-conditioner!" I said.

"To my iced tea and taking it easy!" he said as we left, smiling.

In the South, it's summertime and the living is easy. Fish are biting and the cotton is high. And air-conditioning is sipping iced tea while resting in the shade.

Being from the deep south... and growing up with no air-conditioning at school, home, car nor buses... 102 degrees to me just means drinking cold liquids continuously to let it go straight through and do a heat exchange. For my riding and hiking, I load my Camelbak with ice and top it off with water. This time of year, I am so hydrated that I have to pee several times during the night. On weekend days, I prefer bicycling and hiking first thing in the morning. On weekdays, I do what I can. After work today, I hiked 6 miles in 99 degrees but under the canopy. Last Saturday we rode twentysomething miles in the sun. The heat doesn't bother me if I consistently stay with the program, stay consistent to get attuned to changing temps gradually, and drink fluids. High temps are part of training and conditioning. I won't accept anything else.

I choose to practice how I play.

And the living is easy.

- text © 2010 by Willy

Feel-Goods

2010-07-25T09:47:00.021-05:00

I heard the 4-wheeler from the trail before entering the open area called Flat Rock. Expecting a teenager, I stayed in the shadows. What emerged was a bald old man smoking a cigarette, followed by an old Collie. I came forward and greeted him, and began to listen to a fascinating story. He is the landowner of Flat Rock, 75 years old, still working for a national company with a large presence in town, and he was there for maintenance: dropping off corn and taking back memory cards for several deer cams. He even had a camera hooked up to a cell phone to alert him if anybody strayed off-trail or tried to camp without his permission. He is a gentleman farmer, loves the outdoors, Flat Rock is his pride and joy and his hunting ground. He showed me pictures and talked about the variety of wildlife there. I mentioned my own backyard full of wildlife that I feed. I hope I'm enjoying the outdoors when I'm his age and afterwards. I made a new friend in Burt. He made my day. He made me feel good.

This was my long-hike day, and I do Flat Rock a few times a year. The way I did it yesterday was in a 13-mile, 2400-climb-feet, 7-hour version. Solo. In 100 degrees. I enjoyed Miss Kitty's beignets for lunch on-trail, and sucked my 100-oz bladder dry (with lots of pre- and post-hike hydration too). My feet were sore, but I enjoy that trophy as I enjoy the suffering of a steep climb. It feels good to be able to accomplish these hikes... or rides or gym work.

There are many ways to feel good about yourself. I have a few of my own... meeting a like-minded and tough-but-nice guy or gal is one of them. Not just Burt yesterday, but Dawn on the way to Maine and Marcia returning. I also immensely relish my long-time good friends. Of course, it also feels good when contributing and helping, at work and elsewhere.

Trail signs can be reassuring (a blaze, that you're still on-trail) or feel-goods ("Caution: Dangerous Descent." Yeah, right). So, some signs are the feel-good equivalent of complements, which I enjoy receiving and try to dispense regularly but honestly. Having regular birthday cake celebrations are one way of giving scheduled feel-goods, and there are many other techniques. Contributing includes being good to others, which is key to a good life.

Ooops, time flies. I'd better get ready to go enjoy this great hot weather... outdoors.

- © 2010 by Willy

Finally Enjoying My Children

2010-07-16T20:32:00.010-05:00

I raised my children by myself. Being a momma-daddy, I am co-dependent but also believe in tough love. Everyone has to stand up on their own two feet.

One of the greatest challenges of being a parent has to be watching my kids make choices as young adults that I believe in my heart are mistakes. All I can do is try to help them understand the potential consequences, hope that the guidance I gave them will somehow help them through, and pray for the best... for their own sake.

I'm tired of getting caught in the tangle of other people's lives.

- © 2010 by Willy

Hike Ended, and On The Way Home

2010-07-10T10:17:00.016-05:00

"The more insecurities, the more you pack," remarked daughter Jennifer. She packed her dad.

We were on our way on the yearly backpacking trip that has become a tradition. This one in Maine, where she finished last year but also where she had a heartbreak. She wanted to show me Maine's beauty and also to get back on the horse that threw her.

"It's a four-holer, and has toilet paper... it's Ritzy!" I said. The daughter laughed. I was referring to the privy at the White House Landing, a hiker's little-piece-of-heaven in Maine's Appalachian Trail's 100-Mile Wilderness. It was my fifth and last day of 43 miles, which included seven mountains and 11,000 ascent-feet. But this year the rains came only at night, so it was a much more enjoyable experience than last year's White Mountains.

The only thing that went wrong was that it's raining today, which we were going to use for a seaplane ride of Mt Katahdin (this old man can't climb Katahdin!). Well, OK, the flies were bad too, but expected.

We heard all kinds of trail drama from all kinds of people. My daughter the psychologist people-person thoroughly enjoys this. I marvel at her people skills, and am amazed at the huge variance of reasons for hiking the A.T., but that discussion would be long.

"I'm not going to marry anyone that can't hike a 100-mile wilderness," said the daughter, starting yet another bonding conversation. We talked about all the fake and lazy people in both our lives. "The divorce was bad, but I got to go backpacking," said the true enthusiast. She uses hiking as meditation and problem-solving time. It's a sweet solution that works well for her.

Everyone hikes his own hike.

- © 2010 by Willy

Action

2010-07-01T19:45:00.012-05:00

I'm hyperactive... have ants in my pants and passion in my soul.

I am now packing, ultralight, for a Maine hike. I leave very early Saturday after a night of barbie and brew with the boys.

I had been squeezing in 3 hours of daily cardio, besides the lifting. This week of rest has reminded me that I just don't idle well. The throttle needs to be darn near full-open for this machine to be happy. This applies to all aspects, from work to home and to sleep. At work I've hired 10 new people this past year and my day is still an all-day heart attack. Then I dissipate more fuel afterwards at the gym or outside. Unless I'm exhausted, I don't sleep well, nor feel happy. I'm at my best when I'm contributing fully at what I like. I may not retire until I wear out completely. In the meantime, I'm thoroughly enjoying every adventure, big or small. More hikes and bikes, local and far, as well as growing an army of replacements at work.

It's all about the journey. It's not about watching. It's not about catching what's coming. It's about initiating action to get... anywhere.

I took after my daughter that way.

- © 2010 by Willy

Struggling Is Good

2010-06-26T15:06:00.007-05:00

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If we were allowed to go through life without obstacles, it would cripple us... we would not be as strong as we could have been. Struggle is growth.

I'm mentally and physically tougher today because I've often struggled with work, kids, relationships and injuries. Relationships have been the toughest... I told my ex that I'd rather get shot than divorced. Monday I will effectively struggle with dozens of difficult people and scores of email where forty years ago I was struggling to know myself. Today I struggled pressing 100-lb dumbbells but twenty years ago it was 20-pounders, and in a week I will struggle with days of all-day hiking where fifty years ago it was the second lap around the track. I accept and even welcome these struggles.

Unlike Popeye, I am what I am, but that's not all that I am. Life will continue to hammer and strengthen me.

- © 2010 by Willy

The Future

2010-06-18T15:11:00.022-05:00

Time is the fourth dimension.

There are a few different ideas of time. Some call time an artifact, created for man, to keep everything from happening all at once. Others say past, present and future co-exist simultaneously in different dimensions (or so goes String Theory).

It seems to me that since we have to live with the choices we've already made, what we are now is what we've done, and so the future is defined by our actions today. Events unfold after decisions are made. Every act or choice has a chorus of consequences. Every act is a move which affects the next, changing me and everybody else... i.e., everything matters (Chaos Theory).

So, why not choose kindness, today? A kind word or deed makes miracles happen.

Key: The future tomorrow is our decision today. Choose wisely. I choose grace.

-© 2010 by Willy

P.S., it's time to go on.

Discipline

2010-06-12T15:51:00.016-05:00

I do what I can with what I have.

I'm friendly but I keep to myself unless engaged. There were three gals talking in the weightroom area. I had done cardio, warmed up the rotator cuff and had already done a delts circuit. I was on my second heavy set, minding my own business, when Carol showed this new gal her squat form... pushing up her chest and back her butt... and I lost concentration completely. After wasting time at the treadmill until they left, I went back for my last remaining power sets and finished my heavy workout in perfect form, without injury.

I can't control the wind but I can adjust my sail. To adjust, I withdrew.

I also love real chocolate ice cream but I can't have any and haven't had any in years. I'm still in irrational love with The Ex, but withdrew there too... I will not have anything to do with her, and haven't in years... after shedding many a tear. I can't choose how I feel but I can choose what I do about it.

Life's all about accepting and exerting self-control, which is no easy feat sometimes. How else would you live this day?

- © 2010 by Willy

The Angel Waved

2010-06-06T23:03:00.011-05:00

The angel looked like a cloud against the red sunset, and she waved at me... for the longest time. It was pleasant.

I always thought that if I was ever in one of those "Touched By An Angel" episodes in real life, the minute the angel lit up, I'd have a stroke or heart attack and die of fright.

This one was not frightful. She was just saying "hi." I'm lucky to have recognized her. It took a while.

- © 2010 by Willy

We're Selfish

2010-06-06T19:41:00.014-05:00

A car tried to take me out today. In a residential area!

It was a beautiful, sunny day... but my red blinky was on anyway, and I had my hi-viz jersey. I was signaling left turn and was at the middle of the road and had eye contact but this man overtakes and passes me anyway, doing 50.

It happens all of the time. More and more, rogue drivers don't care about rules because it's all about them. I gave up riding out in the county because of all the meth heads out there. One redneck hit one of the ladies last month, snapping her neck, and no charges were filed against him. Nor against the idiot that took out the touring legend next town over, a couple of years ago. Nor against the gal that hit buddy Dave and left him with a paralyzed left arm. Nor that crazy doctor out west that intentionally tried to take out a pack of racers. Nor against any other driver that hits a rider. It's not right. Only if a gun is used do the cops go after him.

"Without rules we are each at the whim of a stronger neighbor." - Thomas Hobbs.

It seems that rules don't matter to cops nor to drivers.

- © 2010 by Willy

Why Do It Again?

2010-05-31T20:18:00.014-05:00

Yes, I climbed LeConte, again. I like to, and do it all the time. Some times once a year. Last year it was three times.

I am getting old and I prefer the devil I know to the miracle I don't, but the daughter makes me hike somewhere new with her once a year, this year it's the 100-mile wilderness in Maine.

To LeConte, I usually go with a big group. Some of us race to the top (4 1/4 hours via Rainbow), and drink hot toddies while waiting for dinner. The next day we race down (3 hours via Bullhead), then drink beer until the rest of the group get down, usually hours, then we carpool home.

I do enjoy the challenge, and the racing is the excuse to hike at my own pace and by myself. The slowpokes jabber about flowers, birds, scat, bear, and who knows what else.

So, does this solo character flaw make me special? Hell if I know, but I do become the spider web clearer and maybe the bear bait, and, lordy, I saw a lot of evidence of bear this time, although not the actual bear. Last year, a mama bear came straight for me, looking for a handout. I whistled till my ears hurt, and had my walking stick ready to poke her in the nose, but she disengaged the pursuit.

I do get a thrill... a smug sense of accomplishment... on these regular hikes, and revel in the mountain views and wildflowers. Even the wildlife.

-© 2010 by Willy

Amazement

2010-05-11T20:32:00.016-05:00

I continue to be amazed by things unseen or undetectable: The sense that we can't sense it all.

You might be able to observe discipline and resolve. Initiative. Continuous progress. Contributions. Laughter. Attitude. A kindness spoken or received. Encouragement.

But comfort, contentment and inner peace? Introspection. Inner happiness. Character. A good conscience. The quietness of riding with an 81-year-old. The remembrance of a smell long ago. Missing a friend. Appreciation and gratitude. A good feeling. Faith in something or somebody. The spirit. The fleeting wind. Love. Friendship.

"The measure of a friendship is whether one is enriched in character, spirit or experience by virtue of the relationship." - anon.

- © 2010 by Willy

Detecting Residual Depression

2010-05-02T19:58:00.018-05:00

Everything is relative. Comparison is necessary. A baseline, cornerstone or control case is absolutely essential, since measuring is done FROM a point.

When I find the measurement reference point from which I can judge progress, status or closure, I am a happy man.

I accidentally got a unexpected breakthrough recently in a three-year depression issue which I did not know I still had. It had to do with The Ex ignoring me when I ran into her after not having seen her for over three years. If she had instead pleasantly interacted with me that day, I would have been weak and possibly reopened undesired emotions. But, since she is what she is, she put my fears to rest and I was fortunate that, by ignoring me, she actually helped me with closure.

My world was bright but it's even brighter now.

It had been taking me an infinite amount of self-analysis in determining if my thinking is rational or erratic. I've found that not everything needs an explanation (yes, a strange statement coming from an engineer). Sometimes, things just happen because we choose for them to. I gave the devil her power. It was my choice. No more.

- © 2010 by WIlly

The Why Of It...

2010-04-17T09:55:00.017-05:00

My daughter had a boyfriend heartache, so she came home to talk to an old friend. The breakthrough came: "She told me something powerful: 'You may be all the Jesus some people see.'"

Now, that's a terrific solution statement, no matter what the problem is, but it's difficult for this ol' engineer to understand matters of the heart. Experience 'em, yes, but understand, no. Engineers do heads, not hearts.

I had earlier reminded her that the last stage in grief is acceptance, but now I just listened and took her out and showed her some stress-reducing things that work for me and may work for her too, like feeding the ducks and hanging out by a gurgling brook. We hiked in my backyard mountain... the inchworms were raining down this weekend, no doubt incubating in our oak-pine-hickory canopy above, but more about that some other time.

You would think that figuring out life is easy... that the number of heartaches someone will experience in their lifetime (Nh) is equal to the number of temptations (Nt) that occur times the probability of succumbing to temptation given the temptation (Ps/t). But life is not an equation Nh = Nt x Ps/t. And Ps/t is tough to figure. Life is not Yes or No, Black or White... it's endless grayscale, infinite graduations of brightness and hues of an uncountable number of colors, with a timescale and with many strings attached.

But I do agree that cutting down the number of temptations, and me behaving like Jesus, does result in a simpler life with less heartache... for me and for you too.

- © 2010 by Willy

It's Summer!

2010-04-11T18:13:00.013-05:00

The Mayapple flower buds are peanut-sized, the Trillium were open and the sun was hot... that's summer in The South. I should have done this before (I've been busy and away) but today I put the plants and hoses out, raked pear leaves, trimmed dead bushes, sprayed weed killer, broadcast weed-and-feed and turned the sprinklers to Auto. I did all this after completing the usual 6-mile mountain hike in just 2 hours, which is pretty darned good time for the terrain. Did I get extra energy due to the summer sun? What's happened lately? It just might have been closure, finally. Let's hope this continues... it was a terrific day.

While I walked I was thinking that I did not need a reason to be happy... I just am. I am fortunate, too.

- © 2010 by Willy

My Visit With The Monks

2010-04-04T18:13:00.012-05:00

Happy Easter resurrection. I just got in after spending a few days as a guest of a monastery. A small group attending a small group of monks'. This year one became a priest, one died, they had five novices (the most ever) and a chef instead of a cook (correlation to the most ever novices?). The beautiful liturgy, elegant chants and interesting lectures were terrific, and keep me grounded.

Lent is time to fast from delight, so I snuck out yesterday and bought two big chocolate Easter bunnies to gorge on today, a ritual which I do every year too. I'll be sick to my stomach by tomorrow.

I had a long talk with one of the priests, whom I've known well for 15 years (my troublemaker son went to school there). I told him that I noticed that for the last couple of years I've become ornery. I don't like crowds either. I'm an old man with no tolerance for fools like the swivelhead teen in front of the pew nor the cougher behind. "Stay in community," he essentially said, "tolerate, do discipline of the eyes."

- © 2010 by Willy

P.S., in his talk, this priest quoted Malcolm Muggeridge stating "It's those times of biggest failures when I grew as a man and close to God."

The Tree Winked At Me…

2010-03-26T17:42:00.010-05:00

Well, that’s kind of what it looked like. No, Alice wasn’t ten foot tall and I wasn’t high or drunk. I was just enjoying the warming weather of Spring and out for a neighborhood mountain stroll... with a smile on my face. Life is good and my world is right, no matter what is said in the news.

I think and meditate while I hike. At the time I saw that tree, I was thinking that the serendipity of life is a fragile thing. Life can change in a hurry. Much can happen, both positive and negative. You never know what’s going to come up next. You must prepare with school and network, work hard, develop the right attitude and be good… but life is unpredictable. The question of what is good and bad gets answered in hindsight. Stuff happens… which some may call luck… but I like to think of it as grace.

Grace and blessings to you too.

- © 2010 by Willy

P.S., yes, I winked back at the tree... but no one saw me, so it must not have happened.

Having Let Go

2010-03-20T11:10:00.019-05:00

Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers. I saw my ex at the gym this week... haven't seen her in 3 years... and, yes, she's obese, and she ignored me (most fortunate for me).

Thinking back, it was tough to let go, especially since I was in love, am somewhat obsessive-compulsive and definitely co-dependent.

It's been stated that chronic lying is not a habit... it's a manifestation of a significant character flaw, and nothing will get rid of it. Lies were either verbalized lies coming out of her mouth or omissions due to her passive-aggressive personality. It's also been stated that sociopathy is a personality disorder for which a lot of shrinks believe there is no cure. You can't grow a conscience. It was either accept her as is or let her go.

Unfortunately, I had given her a ring and she had moved in. Problems started in three weeks. The turning point was to recognize her cruelty. When the stupor of love exited, I realized my problem. This allowed me to respond back with what she considered offensive... with what worked for the last guy, which was a breakthrough. It took years. Looking back, I should have let her go much earlier... but I finally did, and am the better for it.

I am delighted with today.

-© 2010 by Willy

P.S., this at the 3-year hindsight perspective.

Inspiration

2010-03-13T19:13:00.015-06:00

The daffodils bloomed, I noticed this morning after another week out of town... this one attending an important week-long meeting for work. Maybe the blooms were there before but I haven't been home much and I've been too busy to notice. Something tells those things to bloom at this time every year, whether somebody is around to see it or not.

Why did I bloom? ... and acquire my past and current responsibilities? Why not stock a grocery store? Why did I pursue the dream instead of staying home and taking care of my mother? Or of my crazy ex? Why did I even have the dream? Did I get "lucky," or was it inspiration... spiritus... the divine breath?

Does the fact that I bloomed matter? Do I delight someone's gaze? Did I help something happen or help somebody out? Have I made a difference? Did I contribute? Did I follow The Plan? Those are good questions that may or may not have an answer, but I hope for the affirmative.

But I did not bloom by myself, and I am counting on staying on... on the straight and narrow... by using a wish and a prayer. That seems to work better than anything else.

- © 2010 by Willy

P.S., Chaos Theory says that everybody and everything matters.

There Was No Virgin

2010-03-07T22:52:00.034-06:00

I'm sure that the sign for Virgin Falls is in some teenager kid's bedroom as a bragging point. Missing also was one for Bridgestone-Firestone Wilderness Area. My buddy Roger and I spent all day driving around and asking locals how to get there, to no avail. Virgin Falls is in the map and the Chamber of Commerce brochure, and the last turn is in Google Street View, but, even with GPS, we did not see it. Maybe virgin innocence can no longer be found, falls or otherwise. We tried and, yes, we did have fun looking for the end of that rainbow.

Or was it a snipe hunt? One local mentioned the difficult rating for the Virgin Falls hike to be "Maximum" rather than "Difficult." We'll never know. I rate it "Impossible (to find)," or maybe also "Maximum (fun!)."

Other middle Tennessee falls were easier to find, magnificent in their size and splendor. Back in college days I rapelled down a rope at Fall Creek Falls, and, enthralled with the beauty, I caught my long hair in the rack and had to cut it off right then and there, on-rope. I looked funny until my next haircut.

Note Roger, the hiker with red wind shell in the picture, for scale, at Ozone Falls.

- © 2010 by Willy

Possible

2010-02-28T11:04:00.019-06:00

"Think about what's possible
and you'll be amazed
at what's probable!"
- anon.

When I was 8 years old the cops had car radios, most people had a telephone, and I wondered why we hadn't yet merged those two together into what's now the cell phone. It took quite a while, but this possibility became the perfect probability.

Also when I was 8 or so, I wondered if it would be possible to avoid being feeble like my 60-year-old grandfather. The probability is... yes: I pressed very heavy pecs Monday, went for a 6-mile mountain hike yesterday and will do a 28-mile spin today. We don't come with a warrantee, so it's up to each one of us to make the possibility happen... with God's grace.

None of us has any control over how long we live, but we do have some control over how we live.

There is so much possible, and seems more so probable. What a ride!

- © 2010 by Willy

37-minute Warm-up

2010-02-17T13:21:00.006-06:00

My buddy John started the frigid hike with the enthusiasm of breaking in new boots, but a half-mile into it had knee problems. I shouldn't have allowed that to happen, and usually begin winter hikes rather slowly. I'll leave John's knee to heal for a couple of weeks before I hike with him again, and then will start much slower and will suggest long johns.

It's been so cold that cycling outside is almost impossible... the wind chill makes sweat produce hypothermia.

Even inside at the gym, it took me 37 minutes to get through warm-up and feel good about ramping up the load on the elliptic.

It's all about the warm-up... tempos and intervals can happen after a good warm-up.

I should think that life stresses and anxieties should also happen after a good and long warm-up, but 60 years haven't been long enough yet and so I've turned down the load knob.

- © 2010 by Willy

Accept

2010-02-07T20:52:00.012-06:00

I've long known that people aren't machines, and that relationships aren't equations.

That thought comes up often. Whenever I meet a difficult person (I dealt with two of them at a wedding yesterday), my thoughts automatically go to the fact that I'm glad I live alone with my machines. I tolerate rude people for a short time but am glad that I don't have to deal long-term with them... I go home and they go to their unfortunate spouses.

Relationships only work if you can stand the pain, and I won't. I detach. My life is full, exciting, tiring and surprising, but there is no longer room for the excitement of adversity. I'm truly thankful that I am where I am. It has been an active choice. Relaxing solo is my great joy, and adventure is my excitement.

- © 2010 by Willy

In The Head

2010-01-30T15:46:00.027-06:00

I got into a discussion with my buddy John... with whom I've worked since 1977... regarding needing a hearing aid (me and my buddies are getting up there and the topic comes up more often now). For most of us, the noise floor is up, and thus the problem is the signal-to-noise ratio, i.e., tinnitus, a "ringing in the ear."

The reason I use quotes there is that my other buddy Jim had a conjecture that tinnitus is not a hardware problem but too high a loop gain in the brain. I validated that three years ago when I took anti-depressants and my own tinnitus went away. My problem-solving statement to John is that, when the time comes, I will try pills again before I get a hearing aid. Buddy Phil thinks that the tinnitus did not go away... that I just went to la-la land and didn't care, but I disagree. I ran a hearing level test with my bedroom HEPA filter fan level as reference, and I could hear fine with the fan off, whereas now (and before the anti-depresants) it takes two fan levels to drown out the tinnitus.

This begs to ask: What else do we have overgained? Clearly, anxieties, fears and panic come to mind... and surely depression is just a product of exhaustion due to anxiety overgain... but what else?

Seems to me that a lot of life is in the software... it's in the head.

Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor, just a dam' good engineer.

- © 2010 by Willy

Relationship Shelf Life

2010-01-22T10:25:00.016-06:00

My daughter flew home for Christmas and we drove to a family reunion afterwards in Florida. As captives for a week, we did some talking, and agreed on one point:

Relationships have a shelf life. They go bad, like eggs.

Now, let me state that I respect everyone who has been married for eons, and you are the refreshing exception, but statistics and experience shows the rule is that romantic relationships are difficult to maintain.

My history shows that my relationships shelf life has shrunk as I've aged. My marriage lasted ten years but I just don't have the umpf any more to put up with characters on a daily version... and neither does anybody else. The exception is for buddies that, obviously, only see each other on occasion instead of every blessed night.

How long is the shelf life?

Depends on the relationship. Just like fine wine ages forever (the exception), and chicken has to be consumed soon, relationships can last from soon to forever... but the mean seems to be closer to the soon rather than to the forever. Even refrigerated. Check the label.

To love and friendships.

- © 2010 by Willy

P.S., Love and relationships do not always correlate, i.e., to me, love may indeed be forever, unlike its associated relationship.

Logic Over Emotion

2010-01-22T09:58:00.011-06:00

My daughter is terrific with people and usually emotional; I'm very good at machines and usually hardhearted; thus we sometimes consult with each other on problemsolving. Some times the solution is a warm hug, and sometimes it's detachment.

A cousin had knee surgery and drives a stickshift, and my daughter is helpful and drives an automatic. She posed the possible solution of swapping cars.

I answered that (1) the cousin had loaned her car to the daughter before, so there was a precedent, (2) there will be a cost for adding each other to their insurances as compared to the cousin getting a rental car, but (3) if the cousin's surgery was her right knee, then neither of the above matters and cousin should just chill out for another month because insurance will be invalid and the risk of crash is significant.

The daughter liked this logic, and I was glad to have contributed.

Sometimes logic works better than emotion. Some times.

- text © 2010 by Willy

P.S., but it's always function over form.

Touchstones

2010-01-04T19:13:00.006-06:00

Every house has a foundation and every machine has a frame, and every person has to have a touchstone or cornerstone.

My touchstones are my career and my 1973 Corvette. My career started in 1960 with a love of rockets and a distaste for people. I ordered my Vette in 1972 and I have measured my life as referenced to the Vette. Many people have dissapointed me, whereas the Vette has independent suspension, all disk brakes, plenty of power, looks great and does not criticize me. I take it out for a hard drive some weekends to calibrate myself.

My psychologist daughter's touchstone is people. She has to touch that foundation often, and feels refreshed and recharged when she does. She just got back home after a couple of weeks with family.

- © 2010 by Willy

The Tough Part...

2009-12-24T23:41:00.025-06:00

The tough part was getting to the trailhead.

It snowed 32" last Sunday in the Smokey Mountains National Park. Three things happen to coincide: (1) I've been walking there since college, but never in deep, virgin snow, (2) the daytime air temperatures were reasonable... above freezing down on the ground, much above zero on top, and (3) it was the start of the Christmas holidays.

I checked to see if anyone would be interested in hiking with me and drew zero... all buddies are in committed relationships and had to be home for the holidays, where I did not. So, I Goggled and contacted a guide service, discussed plans, and drove to the Gatlinburg area. All roads in to the park were closed. Had to wait two days in a motel until the park service opened the main road to the trailheads on 441 (Cherokee Orchard road remained closed).

Even with a guide, we had little hope to make it in deep snow to the top of Mt LeConte... we started hiking up the A.T. in Newfoundland Gap, a familiar trail, and, sure enough, it was a lot of work walking in that knee-deep virgin snow. In 2 1/2 hours we got 1 1/2 mile in, which meant that the 10-mile Boulevard route was going to take at least a 16-hour day and night. We gave up, bagged a trophy sign, had lunch at a crossroad with a terrific view, enjoyed the gorgeous day, had fun trampling in the snow some more, and got back. Another terrific little adventure.

The tough part was getting started. As always. About everything.

- © 2009 by Willy

High and Mighty versus...

2009-12-13T19:15:00.017-06:00

Tiger Woods is the latest casualty in a never-ending list of The Fallen.

Here he is, the best at his field, a Billionaire, married to a swimsuit model... the perfect man everybody aspires for... and he gets taken out by what appears to be ego. Money and power goes to their heads. It's called temptation. The devil exists.

The funny thing is that it also happens to a lesser extent to the average guy. I'm sure Tiger Woods gets a million temptations for every one of mine. If you go by percentages, he was bound to fall.

I'm not the best in my field, although I'm very good. I'm not a billionaire, although I do well, I do not know any swimsuits models, although I did score a trophy wife once (or she me) when I was a socially awkward young man. I do understand the lift to the ego that leads to succumbing to temptation, but neither the temptations nor the trophy wife were worth the trouble.

No, I don't know if I'm getting hit by angel or devil, so I play it conservative. My solution has been to limit my exposure and thus minimize temptation. T. Boone Pickens, the oilman, says that the higher a monkey climbs a tree, the more people can see his ass. So I stay in the brush below, doing my thing... I'm pretty high up at work but refuse further promotion, so I get an awful lot done. Every now and then a lady smiles at me... I must remind her of her grandfather... and I ignore it. The love word comes up occasionally and I respond that I love her like a sister. I watch out for games and my favorite word is no. I don't look for "it," I apologize if the wrong impression is taken, and I bolt. And a dear old lady runs my favorite hangout, so I do not flirt with waitresses... it would be like flirting with my mother.

It may seem like a lot of work to constantly monitor and be aware of what I'm doing... to stay in stealth mode... but it's nothing compared to the loss resulting in a fall from grace. God exists too.

- text © 2009 by Willy

Co-Co-dependents

2009-12-11T20:02:00.013-06:00

Tomorrow night I'll be attending my co-dependent group's Christmas party. A very interesting and terrific set of people with the same problem... and thus much in common with me. I normally avoid parties, but I look forward to seeing John, Chad and the rest of the entertainers.

They say a pessimist sees a glass half-empty, an optimist half-full, but the kind and giving person... a co-dependent... looks for someone who might be thirsty. My challenge has been to properly channel this character feature, and my support group has helped me do this. I constantly ask myself "And whose need is that?" and remind myself to "Detach." Life has been easier lately, although it had been both heartbreaking and wonderful. Some days I fought for my life, just like everyone else, but I've lived it fully.

- © 2009 by Willy

P.S., the codependent crossed the road to help the chicken make a decision, so watch 'em cars if you're one of us.

Best Things in Life

2009-12-05T16:54:00.007-06:00

The best things in life are not things.

I got up early this morning to go hike my favorite trail in fresh snow. It was enough snow to make it pretty but not enough to make streets difficult. Two fat tires and two wafflestompers beat me to the trailhead, but secondary trails were virgin snow. I enjoyed the crisp air and the solitude, I wrote my name in yellow on snow, and I resolved to hike and bike more often... no matter the circumstances.

What a beautiful way to pass the morning.

- © 2009 by Willy

It's In My Nature

2009-11-26T16:07:00.025-06:00

A scorpion asks a frog for help crossing a river. Intimidated by the scorpion's prominent stinger, the frog demurs. "Don't be scared," the scorpion says. "If something happens to you, I'll drown." Moved by this logic, the frog puts the scorpion on his back and wades into the river. Halfway across, the scorpion stings the frog.

The dying frog croaks, "How could you? You know you'll drown!"

"It's in my nature," gasps the sinking scorpion.

_______________

This fable of The Scorpion and The Frog is also a lesson on misplaced trust, on the limits of logic, on not escaping the insuppressible nature of things, and more:

What was the incentive for the frog to even entertain help carry that scorpion? NONE! It was not just the scorpion's nature that's in question here but more so it is the frog's nature to blame. That frog should not have helped in such an event with a clear eventuality. Wasn't this the co-dependency on the frog's part that sank them both? YES!

It is what it is, I yam what I yam and that's all that I yam. THIS co-dependent frog must question everything. I must fight my nature and do just my own... cross the river solo, and not help the scorpions. Kindness has its limits, clearly, and so I have my demons to fight.

- text © 2009 by Willy

Outplay Them

2009-11-22T13:43:00.035-06:00

"Excuse me... do you have the time?" said one of the two young men in front of the mall's record store this morning.

Translated it means "Hold on there until my buddy blindsides you. And, by the way, do you wear a Rolex?"

I said "No" forcefully and kept a fast pace. He wanted to know when the store opens. I said a second "No." He walked after me in frustration as I kept him in my peripheral vision, but finally stopped.

The next step would have been to press the button on my switchblade.

This was early on a Sunday morning, while walking the mall due to inclement weather. I carry my handgun at night but seldom go out then, and haven't been in a bar in a decade or two. I haven't had an incident like this in years and years. I live in Podunk and we have little crime.

I'm 60 years old and so many pounds have transferred from my chest to my gut that it seems I've gotten to the point that I no longer repel punks. I remember the good old days when some road rage idiot would get out of his car, I got out of mine and he stopped cold, mumbling while he got back in.

The truth is that I can no longer fistfight nor run away, so my options are down to being more aware, reducing opportunities for incidence, and increasing the counter-lethality to match.

If you can't outrun them, outplay them.

But if I cannot evade, outplay or outthink them, I will shoot.

- text © 2009 by Willy

Exit Strategy

2009-11-15T16:38:00.032-06:00

Johnnie and Jane went trick or treating on Halloween and knocked on an old lady's door, who gave them candy but felt it odd to close the door on them because they just stood there instead of running off to the next house, so she asked "What's the matter, kids?" and Johnnie said "We don't have an exit strategy."

Before you laugh: Afghanistan is costing us a million dollars per soldier per year.

A good joke can be reused. This one came out years ago and it was about President Bush on Iraq. President Clinton had Somalia and Bosnia, and it could have definitely been used with President Johnson on Viet Nam. The only difference is that this year "exit strategy" is called "off-ramp." It's all the same. It is unfortunate that we keep finding ourselves in the same spot, year after year, but I have to trust that our President knows a hell of a lot more than I do.

But wait... maybe I should apply this to my personal life. I should think ahead and ask myself "how am I going to get out of this" before I do anything. If I had, I would not have dated, gotten engaged, married, nor had kids (now you can laugh). I've made mistakes year after year. So, now, and in the future, I will not even date. I'm going to stick to the predictable, the reliable, even the boring... to what I know... solo... that has a built-in exit strategy. I will keep a much lower profile ("remain in the noise floor" in engineering), because I will not enter.

Versus the more common exit strategy of leaving once they get some.

- text © 2009 by Willy

P.S., That I need what I know is yet another blog.

To Believe the Incredible

2009-11-14T18:58:00.013-06:00

You already exercise faith. You already believe the incredible... you're just used to it by now. Birds fly whether or not they believe in the laws of aerodynamics and we all enjoy the phone, TV, driving and flying... even though few of us understand the laws of physics. We enjoy a sunny day without understanding (believing) in nuclear fusion. Mother nature took billions of years, they say. Our technology took a couple of centuries to evolve and allow us to have our current era of magical gadgets, we think. God took six days, it says.

We can't see electrons any more than we can see the wind moving around... but we can see evidence of electrons via light bulbs and of the wind by rustling leaves. We believe through evidence, which is all around us. Yes, we can believe impossible things, Alice In Wonderland... and we do.

One must use faith to see the invisible and believe the incredible... and so we do, in this circular argument for faith.

- © 2009 by Willy

P.S., To be alive in such an age! - Walt Whitman

Lock Up?

2009-11-11T15:26:00.033-06:00

"We lock up more of our citizens per capita than brutal dictators like Robert Mugabe and Fidel Castro," wrote Cynthia Tucker in her request to end the War on Drugs.

I've got news for her. In the early 1960's, Castro's Cuban revolutionaries shot the entire previous party dead... up against a wall. No going to see a judge. It was televised, day in and day out. "Paredon!" they chanted. Thousands and thousands died, so there was no locking them up in the hoosegow. And many of the ones that were lucky enough to get to jail ended up dead anyway, due to starvation and sickness. Rape, murder and looting (in that order) were wholesale and only deterred by hefty walls and demonstration of defensive gunfire. No getting caught and going to jail for that, since the murderers were the new revolutionary party. Then in the 1980's, Fidel sent his prisoners here via the Mariel Boatlift and emptied his jails.

Since then, news and pictures have appeared of dissidents being beaten to death at the US Special Interest Section in Cuba ("the embassy")... no need to lock them up either.

Yes, Cynthia, brutal dictator Fidel Castro doesn't lock up the citizens... he kills them instead. Your statement is an insult.

"Tijuana authorities found 275 pounds of marijuana and a half-completed tunnel under the border," quipped Jay Leno, "Wonder why the tunnel was only half completed?"

Dahhh! Is it better to laugh with Leno and be ignorant like Tucker, or be stressed with the truth?

- text © 2009 by Willy

Thievery

2009-11-07T16:19:00.026-06:00

Once is randomness, twice catches my eye but the third time is a 3-sigma event that raises the hair in back of my neck and makes me pay strict attention. The fourth time?

I knew that there were all kinds of thieves, from the idiot with a gun robbing a bank cashier to the bank vice-president stealing it big-time. But I did not expect to see our citizens in cahoots with congress and the bankers giving the entire country away. I lived through the Savings & Loan debacle of the 80's but the current thievery makes the S&L crooks weak amateurs by comparison. And it's happening not once, twice or three times... they're about to raid the treasury for the fourth time in a little over a year to the tune of yet another trillion or so. A trillion here, a trillion there, and pretty soon you're talking ALL the money (with appologies to senator Dirksen). The fiscal year 2009 deficit was three times that of 2008. The foreign-owned US debt is $3 trillion, a quarter of that China's. There is no letup in sight.

Our great nation is the last bastion of stoic common sense, but we seem to want to go the way of Rome. It's not my congressmen who are voting screwy, it's the big cities and "blue" states.

The fourth time scares me.

-text © 2009 by Willy

P.S., it's also called looting and plundering, but it's usually done to another country.

A Real Engineer

2009-11-03T18:23:00.012-06:00

The times were when an engineer could work in his garage all by himself and invent a great new gizmo.

Those times are long gone.

Real engineers still help solve problems, first by careful observation and then by bold intervention, but we are now do-it-yourself self-starters with ant-like collaboration. We have to work well with others on our machines. We have to cooperate and coordinate. Sometimes we have differences and we get frustrated. Like brothers, we have to learn to get along and get past our differences. We have to share in the work, in the fun and in the glory. We have to make this people challenge equal to the technical challenge... a problem to solve.

It used to be that all we needed was a wirewrap pencil in a lab. Nowadays, it takes that plus the right words... and only the right words... spoken with all our heart, all our soul and all our might. Whether we like it or not, it's true: we have to work together to get things done.

Well, self... get on with it: go talk to the team and give them some inspiration, and remember that I'm a real engineer. I'm a real engineer. I'm a real... [clicking heels together]. Oh, for the good old days!

- text © 2009 by Willy

It's Natural?

2009-10-12T15:05:00.016-05:00

Mother Nature loves variety... and in quantity.

If you train a telescope on a dark spot of the night sky, you see a star field. Zoom in and you'll see a star field, zoom again and you'll see... a star field, endlessly, but each one of those stars is unique. Same is true in the woods, with what seems like an infinite number of trees and rocks, but each is really different from the others. And ditto with people... an infinite number, but one very different from another.

In nature, some trails are easy and interesting but challenging, and others are difficult, painful and nasty.

Similarly, some people's souls are lazy, shallow and nasty, whereas others have interesting depth and breath to them, either because they escaped their nature... or because of it. Some people help solve problems... and others ARE the problem... and there are an infinite number of them in each of these two categories. I'm staying away from the problem people just like I'm staying away from The White Mountains. Deliver us from evil! That is, while I'm here, I'm associating with and choosing to enjoy the good. There's PLENTY of good here to choose, in the variety of people as well as in the variety of nature.

The attraction of naughty is much overrated and antiquated. Enough, already!

-© 2009 by Willy

Time

2009-10-04T11:25:00.007-05:00

"Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once," said Einstein. Time is a human contrivance, say the philosophers. A Higher Order Being doesn't need time... He can handle it.

"Time," I wrote as a kid, "is my most important ally," I was surprised to read. Maybe because I was more patient and led a simpler life then.

Before The Big Bang, there was no such thing as time. And the future is defined by our individual decisions and thus is extremely flexible... and hasn't happened yet. So, today, right now, is what I have.

If I really think about it, I do have as much time as I need. I haven't done badly and I aim to make the best of it.

OK, I've convinced myself, so off hiking in the rain I go.

- © 2009 by Willy

Something to...

2009-09-27T19:07:00.008-05:00

It is said that to be happy, we need three things: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.

To most people, a pan of brownies in the oven will do.

To me, a pretty day out does it, every time.

Today was one of those days. I woke up late, went to breakfast at my usual place, ended up spending the morning having a terrific breakfast there with this very interesting friend and his wife (who had trouble prying us apart later due to the volume of jokes we exchanged). Then at noon I went out bicycling on a beautiful, clear, sunny day on a route seldom populated, to the river at the edge of town and back (a slow 30 miles with a break at the river). A Hi-Viz jersey day. Another small but great adventure. The day ended with a beautiful sunset.

While DOing the riding, even though I could not see the headwind, I felt it (just like God). I LOVEd the headwind for the training, as well as hills, and as well as life. How much better can it possibly get? I HOPE FOR even better days! I'm happy.

- © 2009 by Willy

Watch The Nutrition

2009-09-27T15:02:00.018-05:00

Two Alligators were sitting around the gym after their workout, talking nutrition.

The smaller Gator turned to the bigger one and said, "I can"t understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age, we were the same size as kids... I just don't get it."

"Well," said the big Gator, "what have you been eating?"

"Politicians, same as you," replied the small Gator [or Lawyers, Ex'es or whatever].

"Hmm... well, where do you catch them?"

"Down the other side of the swamp near the parking lot."

"Same here! How do you catch them?"

"Well, I crawl up under a car and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the crap out of them and eat them!"

"Ah!" says the big Gator, "I think I see your problem. You're not getting any real nourishment. See, by the time you finish shaking the crap out of a politician, there's nothing left but a briefcase."

---------

Moral of the story: (1) Watch what you eat... don't eat crap, (2) Bigger is not always better... some people and some Gators are just full of it, and (3) Maybe you're OK just the way you are.

Crafting Each Day Into a Masterpiece

2009-09-25T20:18:00.022-05:00

There are all kinds of people. Some people enjoy the challenge of winning a game through manipulation. Some people enjoy the chaos and drama that their bad choices make. Some people enjoy venting their rage at others due to their own inadequacies. Others enjoy being led by lust hormones. And yet others enjoy just being stoned into another world, doing nothing. Many do all of the above.

If there were no fools, there would be no wise men.

Lucky for me that I chose to enjoy crafting each day into a masterpiece.

I enjoy the feeling of accomplishment each and every day. And I enjoy others who feel and do the same. I put my name on my achievements, as well as that of all my helpers. My life is a do-it-yourself shop with ant-like collaboration. You see, there's this good old DO network... we know and enjoy each other. Birds of a feather, you know. A terrific subculture. We include the interested but exclude the fools.

We each craft based on desire, knowledge, activity and kindness. The most common result of these is harmony, happiness and satisfaction. Together, our collective efforts result in a variety of masterpieces for better lives and bigger smiles, the side effects of which are many innovations in engineering.
Some crafts are a little esoteric but the resulting masterpieces are better vehicles, better communication, more entertainment, medical advances and increased security... for better living.

Without our masterpieces, this world would be dark, indeed.

- © 2009 by Willy

Accepting the Rain

2009-09-19T19:51:00.027-05:00

Yes, I confess... I've been bicycling and hiking in the rain.

Yesterday I did a quick utilitarian but refreshing dozen-mile ride home from the car shop in wind and rain... and enjoyed every minute of it. Today I hiked for hours in heavy rain, and even took pictures. Like my new camera, I'm waterproof, but I do use a baggie for my wallet and worry about my glasses.

My preference when bicycling in the rain is to use Rain-X on my glasses, because the front tire will throw a continuous rooster tail of road water into my face. A nylon shell will only keep the sweat in, so I leave it and instead add another layer for warmth, and keep my mouth closed. In cool weather, I do add that windbreaker. My road bike caliper brakes just don't work well lubricated, so I keep my speed low. Of course, the blinkie is absolutely necessary.

My preference when hiking in the rain is to use an anti-fox cloth on my (other) glasses (Rain-X makes this product too), but use a small umbrella to keep me warm but allow my sweat to escape. The umbrella also brushes aside wet branches and any lingering spider webs. If I'm rock hopping, I need a visor to keep the rain off my glasses instead of the unbrella, because both hands need to be on rocks. And in cool weather I add the shell. After my wet and tough White Mountains rock hop hike, wet home turf is a walk in the park. We mostly have dirt on our trails (with some bear poop), unlike the rocks and roots which seemed exclusive in New Hampshire.

Come to think of it, I did not see a single mushroom in The Whites. Here in the South, they grow overnight, like spider webs do across trails.

The alternative in rain is to use my home cycle or the gym... but being outside is a lot more fun. Outside versus inside? Daaah!

- © 2009 by Willy

From X-rays to Blood Tests

2009-09-19T00:19:00.023-05:00

I'll be 60 very soon and my buddies bugged me about it, so I recently went and got a colonoscopy, prostate exam, blood test and etc. The cardiologist who did a baseline set of tests said I have the heart of a 25-year-old, but I did not tell him that (according to charts) I have more flexibility and can do more pushups & sit-ups, press more weights, and even hike & bike further than most 25-year-olds too... although much slower. Old age is a sport of persistence, endurance and determination.

The gastroenterologist said I'd need to get somebody to drive me home after the scope because I would not be able to drive. Negotiating, I said I'd bicycle or hike home, since it was half the distance I usually hike on weekends, but we settled on calling a taxi instead.

Turns out that the scope procedure was an assembly line and not too embarrassing. Matter of fact, I got a chuckle out of the nurses being concerned because my heart rate was less than 60 to which I replied that this was normal (they were worried they overdid pre-sedation). After that I was asked to roll over on my side, the lights went out and then it was time to call that cab.

The prostate exam was embarrassing only because it was a lady doctor sticking her thumb up my butt. But the real trauma or embarrassment to me was when I got the blood drawn, which was done by the X-ray lady, who told me she did both blood and X-rays. Evidently I have gone from breaking bones to needing blood testing.

It also illustrated that my definition of a young woman had changed as well as the line between being a flirt or a lecherous old man. Anyone younger than me is a kid, and older than me is an old fart, so there are more and more kids around nowadays.

I don't think I've ever waltzed around feeling young. My buddies always told me I drove my Vette like an old man, but then they blew their engines and I didn't.

The only time I've felt touched by mortality is when a '65 Buick and my motorcycle collided back in '82 and I stayed two weeks at the most expensive "motel" room in town (had breakfast in bed too), although I also have had many broken or sprained limbs, digits and ribs. Life has been a great adventure.

What we think of as aging is really symptoms of disuse due to lifestyle, but there is a line between doing and breaking that I no longer want to push.

So, now I get blood tests rather than X-rays from an attractive young woman with whom I hope I flirt with.

- © 2009 by Willy

Raining Acorns

2009-09-18T12:35:00.024-05:00

No, this is not about ACORN, the political activists, although, certainly, they've finally gotten caught with their pants down and are all over the news. Unusual is that this actually made it to the mainstream network news... but after Fox exposed it. Competition works.

This piece is about our wonderful hickory-oak forests. This is the time of year in which their acorns fall. If I'm lucky... and I was last Sunday... the woods are noisy with acorns falling like rain, and the trail peppered with them. The time window is very small... I expect the woods to be quiet this weekend... and what is wonderful is the predictability year-to-year. I hate surprises.

The same is true for some wildflowers, with a blooming period being usually small but predictable. There are exceptions: my back yard has had Maximilian’s Sunflower blooming since mid-July, and they continue on, in an interesting rotation. They are beautiful.

I love this time of year, since fall brings gorgeous color. But then, I love the summer heat, the winter cooldown and the spring thaw too.

- © 2009 by Willy

Reciprocal Altruism

2009-09-05T15:51:00.027-05:00

People are basically selfish. It's take, take, and take... and me, me and me.

Psychologists use the term Reciprocal Altruism to describe the behavior of those people who overcome that tendency towards selfishness and work together. "We tend to extend help to others on the understanding that some other will expend a few resources to save us," says psychologist Andrew Shatte.

Expert on resilience psychology might or might not agree but it seems to this engineer that eventually the giver quits giving unless he feels others are giving back. Does this also describe co-dependency? Yes, the co-dependent does look for something back, usually words of gratitude, otherwise the co-dependency relationship eventually becomes unstable, a solution is sought and detachment is obtained, resulting in the peace necessary to heal the wounded soul.

Yes, sometimes love leaves softly. Accept it.

Example: One of our Habitat houses became a crack house, and volunteers dried up for quite a while.

I'm starting to catch on to psychology.

Freud rocks!

- text © 2009 by Willy

P.S., Reciprocal Altruism is many-on-many (or one-on-many) and co-dependency is one-on-one, and thus a similar tie-in between a peacegame (opposite of a wargame) and the Prisoner's Dilemma.

Reflections or Summary

2009-08-30T16:47:00.013-05:00

OK, so here's a summary of what I've learned last few years through some reflection. I hope, by jotting it here, to remind myself in the future.

Out of clutter, lead a simple but rich life both at work and at home. Work is not hard if you're doing what you love. Accept what you have to with a positive attitude. Enjoy life with people as well as solo. Don't relive yesterday. Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition. Without adversity there is no drive. Do the right thing, no matter what. Make the choice that brings me peace and serenity. Forgive everyone for everything, and forgive myself too. You cannot fix stupid... you can only laugh at it. It's hard to find the right medication for grief. Sometimes the only way to get the right perspective is to let time pass. Time heals. Trust God. The best is yet to come. Enjoy the ride.

Now all I've got to do is remember this.

Closer to heaven, again

2009-08-29T16:25:00.009-05:00

Another adventure: I did another Mt LeConte lodge hike last weekend. These have become easier as compared to other hikes, but they are still enjoyable. At 6,600 feet high, it's closer to heaven than is my home turf. I enjoy both the journey up and then the relaxing at the top. On a clear day you can see Gatlinburg off the cafeteria deck. If I'm lucky, I'm alone and quiet... and I can reflect.

Our group broke up into fast and slow, with the slow group going up the easier Trillium Gap Trail.

This time on the climb I hung around the back as sweep because one of the fast ladies wasn't feeling good (somebody has to stay with the problem and another goes for help). It ended up that she wasn't all that slow anyway, climbing the 6.6-mile (and 4,000-ft elevation change) Rainbow Falls Trail in 4 1/4 hours (including a break). This trail is visually and auditory stunning. On the way down she felt good and she and I led, making it down the same trail in 2 1/2 hours.

LeConte lodge is one of those remote but luxury places where dinner is ready at 5, sleeping is inside log cabins, and we leave right after breakfast. They bring supplies in twice a week by llama (via Trillium Gap Trail, yuck!) and once a year by helicopter.

The best thing is the feeling of being closer to heaven. There's no adventure quite like being hooked up with the creator of the universe.

- © 2009 by Willy

Check it off?

2009-08-29T15:45:00.010-05:00

"Check that one off your bucket list!" said pastor Keith's friend at breakfast today.

I had just bragged to Keith that I was kicked out of a gym for the first time, at age 60.

The manager told me the rules were there to keep out the riffraff. Yep, those were his words. I broke the rule: I was wearing a tank top at the new Gold's Gym. Yes, a Gold's! So, I'm baaad, I'm bad, come on... you know it (Michael Jackson).

Oh, well, their dumbbells only went up to 65 anyway. Yes, 65... at a Gold's! The manager said that this, too, was to keep out the riffraff (yes, he did). If I had joined this Gold's I would have turned into a wuss like him. I'm keeping my current gyms and activities instead.

So, thanks to Gold's, I'm walking taller today. I needed it... I got word last week that my friend Kara died of leukemia. She was 44. Was quite the angel. A great loss.

- © 2009 by baaad Willy

Between Heaven and Earth

2009-08-16T20:58:00.023-05:00

There are acquaintances, there are friends, and there are buddies.

I'm in the process of helping buddy Delia move to her new condo, little by little. A recent widow, she has no children and one nephew... but she has me, Jane and young David. Delia is doing better after having both knees replaced and losing 40 pounds, but she's old, has fallen, and is having some concerns. She did order a hospital bed to her new condo, though. I'm glad she's still around... she's a grand dame and I enjoy an intelligent conversation. I've only known her a dozen years but she feels like an old buddy. Somebody took a picture of me and Delia snoring in a pew at a Prague church, so, we've slept together. A relationship, for sure.

I'm a big guy, but next to my buddy Dallas I look small. I've been working out with young Dallas for 18 years at four gyms, and... still... aspire to get huge like him. He's a nice guy too, not a 'roid rage lunkhead like other big guys. No, I do not need a skinny workout partner to look bigger. Dallas and I have had our arguments... a readhead came between us once... but we're buddies. Another relationship.

I've gone on adventure vacations with others of both sexes and a variety of age differences... I pick up old Roger this Saturday to hike the Smokies and young Diane will spend her weekend housesitting (we've gone vacationing together too) to feed and observe my wild animals. My blessings include uniquely kind-hearted Jennifer W, positively terrific Heidi, patient tutor Phil, delightful daughter Jennifer, reliable Jim, as well as many others.

I've got many strong relationships, but no romantic ones... intentionally. Friends and buddies are all the relationships I need, and all I can handle.

My buddies keep me between heaven and earth. They are the angels without which I would not enjoy life. Thanks, buddies.

- © 2009 by Willy

Over The Rainbow

2009-08-02T19:24:00.019-05:00

... and above the canopy.

Dorothy said that somewhere, over the rainbow, bluebirds fly.

Not only that but we also hike there, and some of us even live there. It may take near a lifetime to get Over The Rainbow, but where there's a goal, there's a way: Eventually, dreams that you dare to dream really do come true... IF you work for it.

Thank you, everyone who helped.

I have reached the state of mind in which there is no pain and no fear. Where I know I'm safe. When I feel loved and cared for by many. Real peace. All is well. Life is sweet.

- what wasn't The Wizard Of Oz is © 2009 by Willy

Minimum versus Maximum Effort

2009-08-01T20:11:00.017-05:00

I've got another hike coming up this month, but compared to The Whites or even the Grand Canyon, hiking up LeConte in the Smokeys has become kid's play. In order to make it challenging, I've been hiking up it with some tough cookies to see if I can keep up or beat them to the top.

Why do the minimal effort? Is it because we lack motivation? We have Free Will to do that, or to put in our best effort. Our choice.

I just ain't going that way... I'm not taking the shortest route. I'll enjoy taking the long, scenic way. See you at the top. I'll be waiting for you. With some humility, right.

- © 2009 by Willy

Above The Canopy

2009-07-27T20:28:00.009-05:00

After reflecting for weeks on my hiking trip with Jennifer this year, I've realized that impossible things happen by the grace of God.

I got a grandstand seat to see the splendor of His majesty from a bald ridge six thousand feet high, but to do so spent my physical body beyond the possible, with no injuries nor trauma. There must have been angels there carrying me.

I took me a couple of weeks to get my strength back. I'm not attempting something like that again, but I had a great time... after the fact.

- © 2009 by Willy

Yes, Another Wedding and Reunion

2009-07-27T20:12:00.008-05:00

Seems that the family only gets together for weddings and funerals. Flew in late Friday, returned Sunday. Another quickie. My fortysomething second cousin Juan married Nancy this weekend. He was laughing and she was crying, and I hope this isn't ever turned around on him like it did me. The priest was eloquent and the food was great. Nobody wrote "Help Me" on the soles of his shoes. It was nice to see the family, specially those that I hadn't seen in decades. Motel great, with free gym across the street. My flight uneventful. The rental car people ripped me off, but that's what I get for using the biggest.

It was the family that made it a pretty darned good weekend overall.

Funny Thoughts While Riding

2009-07-19T14:18:00.018-05:00

Sometimes I get the most peculiar thoughts while bicycle riding.

I seldom carry an mp3 player with me due not only to safety concerns but also to my need to think things out.

Rudy Kalman, of Kalman Filter fame, one of the cornerstones of systems theory, stated that if a thing can be observed, it can be controlled.

OK, I've just lost you, so let me back up.

Where was I 40 years ago? When Neil Armstrong stepped on the moon, my liberal arts dorm roommates were picking on me because I was studying. NASA had been using all kinds of neat technical tools. The Kalman Filter was used in the Apollo computer for orbital insertions then, and I use it now for proper positioning of any vehicle. The Kalman is nothing but a simulation running onboard the rocket's computer, telling the rocket where it should be (giving observability), which comes in handy if the sensors briefly black out for any reason, like noise and vibration. Sensors being either optical or radar seekers, GPS, gyroscopes and the like. Us humans do this all the time, like when driving through fog at night, we know to keep slow and straight... unless we're at a curve on the road.

The key word is "briefly." The rocket and its sensors have to be designed for observability, and there are some things that just cannot be observed. Yeah, yeah... like teenagers out for the night. And, yes, sometimes we don't want to observe them even if we could.

Behavioral political psychologists or theorists also use this if-a-thing-can-be-observed rule in their logic, except that, to them, everything can be observed and thus everything can be controlled, even in this noisy economy. Not only do they forget their Kalman systems theory, but also, it seems, they forget their sensors altogether. Or is it their senses? The economy is shaking itself to death due to the meddling... can't these theorists observe that? Obviously not.

And, yes, it was a beauuutiful bike ride anyway! It was a relatively cool day and light traffic on an early Sunday for a solo ride at my own pace. I've never had a bad solo ride.

- © 2009 by Willy

Home!

2009-07-12T16:32:00.011-05:00

I've hung up my backpacking gear... for now.

I'm relieved to be back home. I just went and did my favorite local hike to (figuratively) kiss the (relatively) flat ground we walk on. I did not know how easy my hike was until now.

My experience with The Whites hit me between the eyes to humble me. It enlightenned this ignorant man off his blissful darkness. I have got to invest more time and pay some significant attention to serious fitness.

- © 2009 by Willy

P.S., shortly after I got home I got word from my daughter, still hiking the Appalachian Trail, that she had indeed had an accident in the gruelling terrain (got impalled by small stump like Pungi sticks in Vietnam), had help from rescuers getting her to an emergency room and was grounded for two weeks.