Two-Fer

Yep, down in the South, we do talk funny, but then y'all sound funny to me. Lordy, I've been flying outta Nashville too much.

Life IS about laughing.

I just got to meet my newest grandson and watch my daughter get her PhD: Grand and grad in one day. Cool, ain't it?

Grand is cute. Not just because he's mine but also because he has a Mohawk... a big clump of hair smack in the middle of his pun'kin head. Daughter is doing a great job with him, even though he wears her out. At three weeks old, he's an eating machine and mom's the eats.

Grad did very well. Getting her PhD is a big deal. It was five years of hard work, and the last 9 months of which she was pregnant! I am very proud of her for this accomplishment. And to top it off, she's starting a career job soon! I wish I could look at her face as she reads her first pay stub deductions and wonders who's swiping her money.

- © 2012 by Willy

Christmas With The Fam

I have spent a few great days with family for Christmas.

It was fewer family and fewer days than last year (which was a hoot and a half), but delightful and certainly worth the trip.

OK, here we go: Why? Because some of us are getting old, and some of us are sick; because good family is a gift to be appreciated and treasured; because we enjoy and love each other; because we wanted to check on each other and ourselves; because we ARE touchstones to each other; because of the hugs and kisses; because of the stories and conversation; and because, just like last year, we laughed so much that we cried tears and our abs hurt.

My 92-year-old aunt declared she's made a pact with God... that unless she's going up, she's just not going. We wondered if it was really God she was making that pact with. Then my brother cousin-in-law tells her that she would indeed be able to do that cruise she's always wanted if she went in a shoebox.

My nephew second cousin, back home after a breakup, was discussing a girl wearing a bathing suit with its neckline down to her bellybutton. I asked him if they use double-sided tape for that. He was incredulous, and said who cares how they do it... except maybe for an engineer.

I noticed my sister cousin gave everybody flannel pajamas... because South Florida had a few freezing nights recently. So, why also give everyone wallets and purses? (I wanted to know who had won the lottery!)

And some of us just acted a little goofy.

Oh, and the food was great, the weather beautiful, and bicycling terrific... as always. Thank you, guys. I will be heading home the slow way, missing everyone but remembering fondly.


- © 2011 by Willy

What Makes Us?

"Pressure Makes Us." - Nike ad, World Cup. Is that it? Life philosophy in three words? What about time to enjoy family, friends, a pretty sunset and other?

As a very young man, I had pressure to excel and get the heck out of my bad family situation. Pressure did make me, and I have significantly contributed to technology... and still do. I had ideas as a young man and attempted many, with mixed results. Not having a baseline to compare to, I do not know what kind of unpressured man I would have turned out to be otherwise. The difference from then to now is that lately I have seen more opportunity, have more means and more capability... but take less risk. I suspect that I finally learned what pressure and pain are and thus have modified my endeavors, i.e., I've gotten tired of my head being in a vise. I am more afraid of some things but fearless in others: afraid of intimate relationships but fearless in adventure, whether physical or technical.

What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger, and I realized that relationships can kill me.

In summary, and in hindsight, I liked the pressure that made me. Family was a mixed bag and I did a better job of picking my friends, most of which I do still enjoy. I am awed by every sunset that I see, but I enjoy them better when I am by myself. Pressure made me what I am, and I am solo.

So, yes, "Pressure Makes Us," and it IS a life philosophy in three words.

- © 2011 by Willy

Ethnic Christmas

Us old Cubans make a big deal about having a family Christmas.

Like salmon, we all return to our spawning ground, Miami. This year my trek was by way of Ft Benning and Tampa. Last year we included Mobile and Jacksonville. Despite the work, bother and overload, deciding to attend was good and the family reunion was wonderful. It was fun seeing the family, retelling old stories and making new ones for our kids to tell later. For instance, my aunt told us that, as a young kid, I used to eat earthworms, a new revelation my daughter delighted in.

Family reunions are good mental health. And the bakery goods were delicious.


- text © 2010 by Willy

Finally Enjoying My Children

I raised my children by myself. Being a momma-daddy, I am co-dependent but also believe in tough love. Everyone has to stand up on their own two feet.

One of the greatest challenges of being a parent has to be watching my kids make choices as young adults that I believe in my heart are mistakes. All I can do is try to help them understand the potential consequences, hope that the guidance I gave them will somehow help them through, and pray for the best... for their own sake.

I'm tired of getting caught in the tangle of other people's lives.


- © 2010 by Willy

Touchstones

Every house has a foundation and every machine has a frame, and every person has to have a touchstone or cornerstone.

My touchstones are my career and my 1973 Corvette. My career started in 1960 with a love of rockets and a distaste for people. I ordered my Vette in 1972 and I have measured my life as referenced to the Vette. Many people have dissapointed me, whereas the Vette has independent suspension, all disk brakes, plenty of power, looks great and does not criticize me. I take it out for a hard drive some weekends to calibrate myself.


My psychologist daughter's touchstone is people. She has to touch that foundation often, and feels refreshed and recharged when she does. She just got back home after a couple of weeks with family.


- © 2010 by Willy

Yes, Another Wedding and Reunion

Seems that the family only gets together for weddings and funerals. Flew in late Friday, returned Sunday. Another quickie. My fortysomething second cousin Juan married Nancy this weekend. He was laughing and she was crying, and I hope this isn't ever turned around on him like it did me. The priest was eloquent and the food was great. Nobody wrote "Help Me" on the soles of his shoes. It was nice to see the family, specially those that I hadn't seen in decades. Motel great, with free gym across the street. My flight uneventful. The rental car people ripped me off, but that's what I get for using the biggest.

It was the family that made it a pretty darned good weekend overall.

Eating Well

When I was in Middle School and early High School, the welfare department gave us commodity cheese, powdered milk and big cans of Spam. Breakfast was milk, I took cheese sandwiches to school, and grandma cooked that Spam every night while it lasted. I delivered newspapers, cleaned toilets and mopped floors but there was just no money for frills, like much food.

It wasn't just Ethiopia where boys were undernourished.

When I was a starving college student, I ate almost exclusively 9-cent boxes of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, and it was unusual to have a burger. My diet had little protein, so I wonder how I stayed alive those years... at 21, I was 6'1" but my pants waist size was 28" Slim. When I visited grandma, she'd try her hardest to fatten me up with what she had.

When I got my first career job, I had money, and I actually went out for lunch daily. It was burgers and fries or steak and loaded baked potato. Then some honey saw that and grabbed me and married me, and there went my brief good eating time.

All of a sudden I was a young man with a huge mortgage, cars, demanding wife and two kids. We ate oatmeal for breakfast, I again took cheese sandwiches to work for lunch, and we had an awful lot of beans for dinner.

In general, it was not until I progressed in my career and made more money, that my eating got good but bad... because milk, oatmeal, rice and beans... the poorman's diet... are real good for you, not lots of steak and potatoes nor a steady diet of fast food.

So, when the wife went crazy with demands and left us, things got good and we three started eating out at McDonald's, Taco Bell and Arby's, and I got heavy and so did my daughter. The son did not but he had hollow legs. We called Taco Bell "The Kitchen."

That was a while back. The kids left long ago and I've had some awful relationships (the grabbing honeys were still out there). It's just terrible how some people treat themselves and others.

More recently, I'm staying away from fast food and fast women. I eat soy milk for breakfast, a reasonably balanced lunch at the work cafeteria, a protein bar for an afternoon snack and try to eat a small dinner at home after gym or ride. I haven't eaten beef in years but stick to chicken and fish. It's a constant battle to stay at a weight at which I can do all my outdoor activities I love so much, like hiking and bicycling, while maintaining the muscle mass to weightlift at the gym. Since I live alone now... ignoring the grabbing honeys... with my iRobot Roomba vacuum cleaner "dog" and a forest backyard full of wild birds and animals... I don't have any excuse except to eat right.

So I'm eating well now and I'm having the best time in my life.


- © 2008 by Willy
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Touchstones

I'm visiting family this weekend, centered on my eightynine year old aunt Melita... the last of the elders of a large, tightly knit, ethnic family, now in assisted living... a place she calls her cushy prison. Today we had brunch at a nice ethnic restaurant and went sightseeing along old traunts. Also visited Delia, a cousin with Alzheimer's. Tomorrow, we have brunch at Caloli's (one cousin) and dinner at Carolina's (another cousin).

I am not used to the rapid and multiple conversations of my old cultural family group... sometimes they talk and listen to three conversations simultaneously... it's like having had a dozen cups of coffee, so even though I thoroughly enjoy them, I also enjoy the peace and quiet of my motel room afterwards.

Monday, I have all to myself, so I'm renting a bicycle to retrace some of my childhood rides... newspaper routes, school routes, and church routes, mostly... there was no family nor personal car 'till college, and I was and still am very hyperactive, independent and adventuresome, so I rode everywhere, in all weather.

What I am and do now is just an extension of what I was and did as a kid. There have been gradual evolutionary improvements, but no radical changes. From bringing home discarded TVs for parts to designing high-tech equipment, and from toys to the real things. I've avoided people all the way. I am what I am, and have always been. And aunt Melita is a touchstone I use to measure not only how far I've gone but if I've stayed on course. She'd tell me if I don't notice... and so would my many cousins.

My life's always been in forward motion, and will continue to be... quite the chicane.

- © 2008 by Willy
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How Happy Am I?

I don't expect much and am pleasantly surprised when that's exceeded... which is often. Looking at life with a positive attitude but a low expectation does yield the necessary happiness which is the basis of life. I do get the nice smile, the kind word and even the long hug.

I discovered that my best friends are myself and God. They don't disappoint me or shit on me like relationships end up doing. That doesn't mean an exclusion to other friends. Indeed, those hugs have to come from somewhere!

It's not that I expect everybody to be perfect, but what I'm finding is that the minute there's intimacy, then the criticism and demands start, and I'm just tired of it. All intimate relationships do seems to follow the same course, which is initial exuberance followed by disappointment and finally termination depression. My plan is to balance... to continue to have my friends but not do intimacy. Also, family is good, but some are better than others, actually, some are way better than others, just like friends... some contribute.

Friends, lovers... and family... come and go. Treasure a long, stable, healthy friendship and/or family relationship if you have them.

Low expectations works!

- © 2008 by Willy

P.S., and a hug to you too.

What Fall Brings

Around my neck of the woods, we begin to notice Fall around Halloween, but the turning, falling leaves are not obvious until Thanksgiving, today. This year Fall is a true spectacle. The colors are much brighter than usual, and leaves are staying on the trees longer. Some opine that this is due to the Summer drought followed by recent rains. Most of us say that nobody really knows why leaves change color and are just content to enjoy the breathtaking scenery. Fall color must be one of God's tokens of love for us.

My favorite thing to do this time of year is to ride through the leaves piled on the side of the streets. I've been doing this since I was a boy, and still enjoy it. The bonus is actually riding through falling leaves... I always wear a big smile for that.

Around now I somewhat reduce my outdoors hiking and bicycling, and take up more indoor machines. This is mostly due to having history slipping on wet leaves and stepping on uneven ground. Also, created wind or apparent wind when bicycling is treasured in Summer but detestable in Winter as we create a sweatbox inside our wind shells. So, I just did my first home studio bike spin... puddles of sweat baptized my new hardwood floors. My bike commuting will reduce depending on the weather.

I just had a fitness assessment, and even though anaerobically I was 90-100%-tile, my VO2 was just "High." My goal is to meet the requirements for "Athlete," which means this Fall brings more focus, with more miles and a better diet... if I can stay motivated enough, and injury-free to boot, two big ones that have previously sabotaged me.

Hope you have some very happy holidays, a wonderful Christmas, a terrific new year... and better riding!

- © 2007 by Willy
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Touchstones

I have a few Touchstones or constants in my life. One is me... me, my soul and my God will be with myself until I die and afterwards. Another are possessions like my 1973 Corvette, my 1971 Schwinn 10-speed and my books. A third Touchstone are my buddies and my family, not including relationships and marriages.

The Vette I ordered from the factory in Fall of 1972 and after gestation (came in 7 months later), I called it my firstborn. It's an object, but it's been there forever to the point that it's part of me. Selling it would be like cutting off a finger, same for the Schwinn. And books I've read and reread are old friends.

Touchstones make me feel comfortable. Touchstones give continuity and let me gauge both how far I've progressed, and how true I've stayed to my roots. These measurements are important functions for my mental health. I am definitely an engineer.

The two worse feelings I've had are going through my divorce in 1982 and when my fiance left me this year... but I had my Touchstones to keep me company.

In 1982 I took Vette and the clothes on my back, and started a new life doing different work in a different city nearby. Some of my buddies did not side with me due to poisoning from my ex wife. I quickly returned to town to bring up the kids when raising them became too much trouble for the ex. The poisoned individuals softened due to this and when they recognized the ex was certifiably crazy (she got social security disability). Some of these people are now part of my Touchstones again.

This year I stayed at home and work but did again lose some buddies due to the same poisoning by my ex fiance. As in 1982, the poisoned friends deserve my ex, and I truly hope they gag on her. Like in '82, some will eventually see The Truth, but I really don't care... I have my Touchstones. My family and true buddies know me well and saw through the lies, supported me and have helped both times around... although pills and psychologist were definitely needed this time and saved my life.

I went to visit the family elderly recently... which I do every year or two (have to go Touch the Stones, you know) and had the usual good time with my last elderly aunt, in a nursing home and having trouble walking. She has been downsizing for years and giving me family pictures, and now some history and stories which I taped and made into Touchstones.

I've got some new Touchstones from my latest friends. I had lunch with Charlie most days, for years and years, but he died of a heart attack in his sleep a few months back, a young man. I inherited some of Charlie's books, his kindness, and a lot of his work... and delight in knowing I do indeed have some of his own Touchstones. My good friend and mentor Walt, who is about to retire this month at age 73, taught me to be methodical, thorough and intolerant of fools... and recently gave me his Bode Slide Rule.

As I mentioned in a previous blog article, I am a melting pot of people I've met, and am proud of having their Touchstones in mind and shelf. I've seen my friends, and they are I.

-©2007 by Willy
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