Finally Enjoying My Children

I raised my children by myself. Being a momma-daddy, I am co-dependent but also believe in tough love. Everyone has to stand up on their own two feet.

One of the greatest challenges of being a parent has to be watching my kids make choices as young adults that I believe in my heart are mistakes. All I can do is try to help them understand the potential consequences, hope that the guidance I gave them will somehow help them through, and pray for the best... for their own sake.

I'm tired of getting caught in the tangle of other people's lives.


- © 2010 by Willy

Hike Ended, and On The Way Home

"The more insecurities, the more you pack," remarked daughter Jennifer. She packed her dad.

We were on our way on the yearly backpacking trip that has become a tradition. This one in Maine, where she finished last year but also where she had a heartbreak. She wanted to show me Maine's beauty and also to get back on the horse that threw her.


"It's a four-holer, and has toilet paper... it's Ritzy!" I said. The daughter laughed. I was referring to the privy at the White House Landing, a hiker's little-piece-of-heaven in Maine's Appalachian Trail's 100-Mile Wilderness. It was my fifth and last day of 43 miles, which included seven mountains and 11,000 ascent-feet. But this year the rains came only at night, so it was a much more enjoyable experience than last year's White Mountains.

The only thing that went wrong was that it's raining today, which we were going to use for a seaplane ride of Mt Katahdin (this old man can't climb Katahdin!). Well, OK, the flies were bad too, but expected.

We heard all kinds of trail drama from all kinds of people. My daughter the psychologist people-person thoroughly enjoys this. I marvel at her people skills, and am amazed at the huge variance of reasons for hiking the A.T., but that discussion would be long.

"I'm not going to marry anyone that can't hike a 100-mile wilderness," said the daughter, starting yet another bonding conversation. We talked about all the fake and lazy people in both our lives. "The divorce was bad, but I got to go backpacking," said the true enthusiast. She uses hiking as meditation and problem-solving time. It's a sweet solution that works well for her.

Everyone hikes his own hike.


- © 2010 by Willy

Action

I'm hyperactive... have ants in my pants and passion in my soul.

I am now packing, ultralight, for a Maine hike. I leave very early Saturday after a night of barbie and brew with the boys.

I had been squeezing in 3 hours of daily cardio, besides the lifting. This week of rest has reminded me that I just don't idle well. The throttle needs to be darn near full-open for this machine to be happy. This applies to all aspects, from work to home and to sleep. At work I've hired 10 new people this past year and my day is still an all-day heart attack. Then I dissipate more fuel afterwards at the gym or outside. Unless I'm exhausted, I don't sleep well, nor feel happy. I'm at my best when I'm contributing fully at what I like. I may not retire until I wear out completely. In the meantime, I'm thoroughly enjoying every adventure, big or small. More hikes and bikes, local and far, as well as growing an army of replacements at work.


It's all about the journey. It's not about watching. It's not about catching what's coming. It's about initiating action to get... anywhere.

I took after my daughter that way.


- © 2010 by Willy

Struggling Is Good

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If we were allowed to go through life without obstacles, it would cripple us... we would not be as strong as we could have been. Struggle is growth.

I'm mentally and physically tougher today because I've often struggled with work, kids, relationships and injuries. Relationships have been the toughest... I told my ex that I'd rather get shot than divorced. Monday I will effectively struggle with dozens of difficult people and scores of email where forty years ago I was struggling to know myself. Today I struggled pressing 100-lb dumbbells but twenty years ago it was 20-pounders, and in a week I will struggle with days of all-day hiking where fifty years ago it was the second lap around the track. I accept and even welcome these struggles.

Unlike Popeye, I am what I am, but that's not all that I am. Life will continue to hammer and strengthen me.


- © 2010 by Willy