Happiness... On Relationships

My thinking on relationships... if you want to be with the one that makes you laugh, then you'd better find the levity to make yourself laugh first.

And/or just accept yourself and embrace the simple solitude. If so, then there's nobody to have to compromise with, nobody to distract me from Mother Nature, nobody to take away time with which to meditate... and nobody to ruin a beautiful sunset. That congruence, or lack of it, strikes me as funny.

My daughter pointed out to me that I have these cycles where for five or ten years I behave like a monk, then date somebody and get disgusted, returning to behaving like a monk for five or ten years.

I plan to add some damping to that cycle.

I plan to be happy.


-copyright 2014 by Willy

Out Of What Box?

I like myself, and I like my world.

I'm getting too experienced to do things much differently. I've honed my activities and procedures throughout the years into something that works for me.

For instance, I do not speed... I usually drive slower than the speed limit, unless I'm on the Interstate... and I've been like that since I bought my Vette in '73. Back then, one of the gals at work said "Some old guy was driving your new car!" and I answered "It was me!"

I've got to be me.

I'm good to the core and am also trainable, to some extent, but don't bullstuff me. Some other way may not work for me, and vice-versa. Tell me what you want, but don't tell me how to do it.

When bicycling or hiking, my second and third layers are zippered so as to better control body temperature and evaporation... and I use a convenient water bladder rather than bottles, food bars rather than meals.

Also, if somebody is mean in any way, I disconnect... whether it's a work association, a friendship or a relationship. All it takes is one bitching out or one sleazy action. Life is too short to put up with those people. There are plenty of nice people out there, and solitude is an excellent option.

As it is, every day brings something different to me. My daily prayer is for the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Theme and variation.

Actually, we all follow the theme and variation concept. I can accommodate and adapt, to an extent, but Popeye said "I am what I am and that's all that I am." And they say that you can't teach a pig to sing because it wastes your time and it annoys the pig.

I also believe we must treat people nicely, because of Karma... you reap what you sow. It's best to either accept or give up the pig... whether its them or me.

This pig likes a regimented and disciplined life, with variations. Yesterday it was carpet shampooing and weightlifting. Today it's gym cardio and office cleanup. Tomorrow is hiking and dinner out.


My workouts follow the theme and variation concept... a different one every day that include many different types of cardio, lifting, flexibility and relaxation.

It's natural.

Nature invented the theme and variation concept. Sundown always follows sunrise but there may be rain, heat or cold to accept. If you don't like it... tough. Nature sets the rhythm.


- copyright 2014 by Willy.

Santa Has Left

Santa has left the building and a new year is upon us. They go fast.

How did I do this year, Santa?

It was a year of accommodation and accomplishment. The flexible survive a hurricane whereas the strong don't. To a good controls engineer, life is about accommodating change.

I hurt my shoulder and thus my muscles suffered, but I did more hiking instead.

A complication at work demanded more management oversight and thus a bigger staff to compensate.

Yet another good friend offered the social graces and I accepted this variation from my solitude. Being the basic model engineer, I will be forever working on this, but have thoroughly enjoyed her as well as her cadre of friends and varied activities.

What will I do next year, Santa?

Thanks to her recent feedback, i will correct a mistake in my relationship with my friend. I went too far in accommodating her: I will stand my ground and give her a good example of diet and exercise, instead of accommodating the seducing darkness.

I will continue to be tough with myself, especially in diet, strength and endurance.

I will accommodate people, but with better judgement.

I will still take quality over quantity.

My goal is to be a tough man. Old just happens.

And I will stay on rhythm.

See you soon enough, Santa. Happy new year!


-copyright 2013 by Willy.

Reflection

"Only when I was alone, in quiet and reflective moments, did I have not only clarity but an inexplicable inner peace... a peace that exceeds human understanding." - Mike Huckaby on his decision to not run for president (believe it or not!), 13 May 2011.

That could have been Henry David Thoreau, or just about any monk on the planet.

Peace, reflection and mental health go together.

Solitude is underrated.

It's Coming, Again

In engineering, as in physics, we're very used to detecting things indirectly. You are too. Your dog barks and you know somebody's there. An object's shadow is sometimes larger than the object itself. Observation of effected and unexpected dynamics give it away. Correlation with associated behavior points it out.

Well, one thing that's coming is clearly the upcoming national bankruptcy due to the financial sector's unbridled professional thieves, with their accomplices in congress... an inevitable derailment that seems unstoppable and will destroy this country from the inside. Since we've had these before, you'd think we'd steer away.

The real thing that's coming and welcomed is Christ's birthday. Since Labor Day, we've had Christmas displays at stores. Closer in it's not just traffic jams and full parking lots but the inability to do regular shopping.

In my specific case, two additional things give away the season.

One is the inevitable upper respiratory infection, no doubt due to chilly temperatures while hiking and bicycling. Some Decembers are worse than others, and this one has been bad, having had to take off a week from work. It still lingers.

The second thing that gives away the season for me specifically is that my home stationary bicycle gets dusted off and begins its use, which will happen today. It's just too cold to hike or bike given that I'm still sick, and my regular gym is closed on Sundays.

I like the time off at Christmas. I really want to enjoy my peace and quiet both at home and at work. I can catch up at work this time of year simply because the storm quits swamping the boat and I can bail it dry, and I can relax and do my activities at home unencumbered with commitments.

I've had many discussions on the life of solitude that I've chosen lately. I find it joyful in its simplicity, with a maximum of independence, and better than monastic life by far. While taking a class on stress management from a nun, I just had to ask her what the hell does a nun in a monastery know about stress? She responded that she has to live with 50 other women!

There is also a third thing that could be coming. I've been very human, but I'm understanding my prior mistakes and trusting on early sensing and detection to stay away from trouble. The larger shadow will tell me trouble's coming, and then I must control myself, and stay detached and away. Unlike the upcoming national depression, this one I can avoid.

Yep, there's lots of stuff coming, again. Some good and some bad.

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- text © 2008 by Willy

Home

Home is over the rainbow, where the skies are blue and the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true.

Home is a feeling, not a place. Home just feels right. Home is a feeling of calmness, of quiet and of rest. It can happen to coincide with a physical place, but if so then that physical place had better have the above qualities.

After two weeks, I just got home very late last night, to that feeling of calmness, since there is nobody else at home now. A couple of years ago, when returning from a trip, there was no such calmness... just tension, walking on eggshells while waiting for verbal attack, kind of like Inspector Crusoe waiting for Kato to pound on him when he got home (in the various Pink Panther movies a couple of decades ago).

Today I slept late, showered, lunched out, shopped, washed, organized and put away. Watered and fed the birds and animals. And rested... laid down in front of the TV, propped my legs up, and enjoyed the calmness while watching the birds flock to the feeders.

There no place feeling like home. Great feeling. Won't give it up ever again.

- © 2008 by Willy
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We Are Blooming

The first things that bloom around here, in February, are Bradford pears, wild pears and plums... all pop out beautiful white flowers which drop before leafing out. The Bradford (ornamental) Pear has a characteristic and beautiful lollipop shape too, unlike the scraggly wild pear and plum.

At about the time the pears are dropping petals, the native Redbud trees start the same cycle. Flowering in mid-March, scrawny but populous like the wild pear, but pink in color, the Redwood flower petals have been dropping, and are rummored to taste like pepper. Redbuds grow well under our oak-hickory canopy.

In turn, the Redbuds drop all their petals in time for the Dogwoods to flower out, which is happening now, in April.

So we have a long, gorgeous, early flowering spring every year, with trees that shed their petals like snow.

It's beautiful to hike or bike through the falling flower petals, so we ourselves venture out to enjoy the nice temperatures and the blooming trees... and thus we ourselves are blooming out (of the house), with many things to do. Besides the fun things like hiking and bicycling, we also have yards and flowerbeds now, and home repair chores to do before it gets too hot. Blooming out for us also helps us put away our Winter blahs, anxieties and depressions. It's a great rebirthing or restarting process, both for nature and for people.

Supplement that with the right positive attitude, and kind words and deeds, and you can really change lives for the good. Our own included.

May all your weeds be wildflowers.


- © 2008 by Willy
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There's BS Everywhere

Surely you know that we live in an age of BS. When we listen to radio or TV, or read a newspaper, we're being fed mostly advertising, with just enough content to keep us interested. The boundary between ads and program is gone... we now have some ads that ARE merged with and are part of the program or content.

The only way to avoid this barrage is to leave the radio and TV off, or to stick your fingers in your ears as bullshit protectors.

It's not just where the camera shows some character drinking a specific brand of soft drink. An NBC news report tonight on sub-prime loans contained a dozen realtor and lender signs. One of the "3-second shot Cameos" was a banker, by-lined properly.

The TV news today was that Consumer's Report said Ford was increasing vehicle reliability. Can this be anything but an ad? How subjective is this?

I believe that we are bombarded every second of the day and night with ads, suggestions and commands... subtle or otherwise... not just from the media but also from our significant others, to influence and control us. Deception and Untruth are everywhere because there is no downside... deception works.

And thus the subtle poisoning of some of my friends by my "innocent" ex worked well too. I quit having lunch with acquaintances years ago because it ended up being a sales pitch for Amway, and I've quit committed relationships because they have all been cons.

This may be why I only watch TV that I've Tivo'ed and can fast-forward ads, why I prefer to ride and hike solo, and why I live by myself. There's comfort and relief in quietness.

- © 2007 by Willy