My Plan

What do I plan to do when I get old? When wrinkles take over? Well, I've never smoked and don't plan to. I will exercise often (but not too intensely) in order to stay tough. I will maintain activities with friends to have a social life but I will avoid mean people. I will eat and drink in moderation, including coffee every morning, to avoid being overweight. I will take a couple of baby aspirin every day to reduce risk. I will not care about wrinkles but will work hard to maintain function. And I will laugh hard and often to avoid depression.

Oh, wait... that's what I already do.


-copyright 2014 by Willy

Good Versus Evil

There's always a struggle. It ranges from that within us to worldwide. And it's usually a choice: It's good versus evil.

If there's a top, there's got to be a bottom. If there's a god, there has to be a devil. If there's good, there has to be evil.

This week, again, evil slaughtered innocence. It broke my heart. How could a teenager kill elementary school babies? I am thankful for my kids and grandkids... and want to keep them all.

And again, some are talking about more gun laws. As if criminals and crazies cared about laws. As if we blamed cars for drunk driving. It's not the car and it's not the gun... it's the crazy and evil people. It's a widespread but allowed mental health problem that started when Cain clubbed Able. I have myself experienced these people mess up others through intimidation and abuse... several times.

Is there a solution? Is there nut control? When I was a kid, armed robbery and shooting threats to local merchants were taken care of by the neighborhood. Customers would beat the crap out of robbers, in the act, and toss them outside to the street, bruised and battered. No 911 needed. Ditto for not accepting bullying and intimidation at school... they got theirs, eventually. Is that the solution?

To me, personally, it's about every decisions I make, from being helpful to others, to what I eat and what workout I do. My solution is to avoid crazy and evil, embrace good, and train hard to be tough and thus able to defend myself and others. Tomorrow, I will do what I do every day... what I CAN do... conquer my own self. And pack heat.


- © 2012 by Willy

P.S. God, please, deliver us from evil.

Life is a Decision

Life!

That was an easy decision.

Many runners say that life is just putting one foot after the other. The trick, unlike running, is that a decision has to be made for every step. Life is complex. Plans are changed for us. Many decisions have to be made very quickly... about as quick as when running.

The trick is to be prepared for opportunity... and trained for obstacles.

Personally, I keep to a schedule... doing the same things at the same time in the same way... so that I can deal with the all-too-common perturbances that life throws at me... those I can't control... the "incoming."

This weekend, I was glad I cross-trained well to both hike and lift heavy weights, because I had to physically bring down an ailing hiker with vertigo who fell backwards, twice. I was worried that he was going to split his head open, so I side-hugged him, grasped his shirt, physically held him up straight and marched him down in lockstep. I gave him encouragement, even though I was scared. Afterwards, I was exhausted... it was squats-while-walking for six hours... my legs and right delt are still burning.

I have often mentioned that I made a decision to go solo... to do a simpler life with far less drama... which allows me to do what I want to do.

Life's about training and conditioning... in many ways.

I can't be young again but I decided for life... that I'm going to be a REALLY-tough old man. The old is easy, but the really-tough is... tough!

- © 2012 by Willy

It's All In The Thinking

I've had many an accident and injury, and of most disrepair has always been the thinking.

Equally, I've had success upon success, all due to great expectations. Positive or negative... amazingly... it's all in the thinking. Resolve has pushed my body further than possible... the last bit of energy just appears, by magic. Also, at times, my tired body has influenced my mind to generate negative thoughts. On the other hand, my trained body, at times, has given me a mental high. My body and mind, positive and negative, have coupled through attitude and thinking. If I wanted it bad, I went for it. If I went for it, I wanted it. I created the dream in my mind and the action came true. If I went for it, the dream came true. With action... positive or negative... it came... positive or negative.

Repairing my mind has fixed my body.


- © 2012 by Willy

A Clear Advantage

"You do well for a young person." I paid a compliment this morning at the gym to a young lady for her tenaciousness. Us old farts have an advantage: we live simpler lives... with no kids, spouse, mother-in-law, school, mortgage, drama or worries. This gives us more time, flexibility and focus. Thus we are happier, enjoy ourselves and train more... a clear advantage over youth.

The key is to keep it simple. I have good friends and a mostly good family. In the past, I've tried to help people but have repeatedly ended up crossing the line and being instead a co-dependent or enabler. Since I have this problem, I decided to give up relationships. The Serenity Prayer is key. I've learned not to hold them but to fold them... and to get out of the game. I've been lucky to be able to carry through my plan: Without sticky dependents... and their drama... life is easier. I listened: My father guides me with a soft hand and an easy touch.

- © 2012 by Willy

It was a dark and stormy night...

"It was a dark and stormy night," or so Snoopy's book always starts.

If you're thinking this way, then you are going through another of life's little disappointments which may be unwelcome but are always expected.

We can't change the wind but we can set our sail. The sun will come up again tomorrow. The tide ebbs and flows.

We all get through these downers and on to yet another high.

I have had my own struggles at work and elsewhere. They're not as bad lately. I had divorces, an angry son, two unsuccessful dissertations, two hospital stays and other. Such is life.

My daughter is going through trauma now. I am proud of her and of what she has become. She has a great goal, she is resourceful, and she will get through this too. I'm glad that she's gotten herself some help. I think of her and pray for her several times a day. I look forward to her continued growth and her bright future... but it is her future, and she has to do it.


- text © 2011 by Willy

Which Is Scarier?

Once upon a time, if a tall ladder didn't do it, you used two and got it done. But things have changed.

On the one hand, many politicians, bankers and CEOs are brazenly robbing the tax-supported treasury to the staggering tune of trillions while grandstanding and BS-ing us. The infrastructure is crumbling and Nero is playing the fiddle, and somebody keeps re-electing and re-hiring these crooks... other crooks, perhaps.

On the other hand, the "young" have languished. Most are a waste: overindulge; don't grasp the concept of work; chose part-time, dead-end, low-paid work instead of striving for better careers; passively amble about, caring more about their looks than their careers; live irresponsibly avoiding paying bills or sharing duties but use their disposable income for frills; and/or deal with anxiety by completely withdrawing from society to the point that they lock themselves in their bedrooms and belittle parents or spouses while parents or spouses allow and enable them. They BS us too. It's the gime-gime-gime entitlement mentality. They have no sense of purpose. They have no dreams. And they refuse every chance to do the right thing. Love and kindness is wasted on them because they will always be unhappy. These ahole parasites don't contribute.

In the middle is us.

I'm not sure how to fix it because I can't even explain it... we somehow lack the mental health to do it. I see a crash coming.

I'm not sure which is scarier, but I'm scared. I don't like it and don't want to accept it nor develop a positive but false attitude of hope about a rosy future. We need to proactively develop a real nasty, kickbutt attitude instead... an "I'm mad and won't take it anymore" one.

Lord Jesus have mercy on us.



- © 2011 by Willy

Give Until It Hurts?

"You are my idol, Willy," said Charlie, the personal trainer. "When I get to be your age, I want to be in your shape." Dallas laughed. I took it as a serious complement and thanked Charlie for giving it to me.

It's said that, decision by decision, we shape our destiny. However, a good attitude shapes our destiny too, albeit passively. In other words, whether proactively or in quiet acceptance, we live the life we want, with God's grace. Practice how you play and you'll play how you practice. How you practice life is how you live it. We have awesome control over our lives and that of others, since life is a network of invisible crossing threads. Take the complements, and give them too. Recognize and thank the blessings in your life, and be one too. Fulfill lives. Pass it forward.

On the other hand, I give them the benefit of the doubt... until they hurt me. I've been hurt too many times, life is short and I've had enough. What's all this raving about: Somebody who had no clue asked if I wanted to rekindle the relationship with The Ex. It was so incredulous that it was funny. In response I asked if it was a cold day in the hell where she came from.

Why relationships and marriage? I do not subscribe to the idea that I will need someone there when times get tough, because times have been tough because of the somebody that was there... and then nobody was there and life went just fine. The concept that there's a need for a shoulder to lean on, a hand to hold and a willing ear is bogus because it costs much more than it's worth. I'll stick to buddies instead... guys and gals... without crossing the line.


Life's a circus, so send in the clowns.

[Daughter Jennifer is one of the two clowns at left... I forgot which.]


-© 2010 by Willy

We Are All Peculiar

"Yep, he rode over a pothole that threw him. He broke his clavicle but also several ribs that poked and deflated a lung, sending him into ICU. He is now working from home."

"You guys are nuts! Why do you ride?"

"Because it's fun... most of the time."


I love to ride my bikes, just like I did when I was a kid. So, I do, when I can. I maintain and ride them all, with various degrees of success and frequency. And with a certain amount of risk. I have four bikes: my commuter hardtail with slicks, my Mtb four-link with Fox, my carbon road, and my very old, heavy and bulletproof college Schwinn 10-speed. And I'm always tinkering with them, cleaning and lubricating. I've had multiple accidents, some due to cars and some due to other cyclists. I've not had a solo accident since 1998 when I bought SPD-clip pedals, fell over at the first stop sign and bruised my ego.

Everybody has a peculiar love. My love is machines. I have a safe full of guns, from a scoped 30'06 to my .22 college Colt Woodsman, that I love to dissasemble and clean. Guns are risky too, especially due to idiots at the outdoor gun range. I have three cars: my old rusted "stealth" truck (women don't see me), my "locker-room" van, and my old Vette. Truck and Vette are tiny and have no airbag. So, my drug of choice is machines. My son's is computer games. My daughter is hooked on people.

All engineers like machines. A friend is into cameras, another has kayaks, and one has collections of collections stored in several garages. The older we are, the more we've accumulated, but I'm trying to reduce my junk to become simpler and more portable so that if I retire, I can fit into an apartment with bus access to give up cars. Unfortunately, I'm having a tough time deciding on a home for the Vette. I love the Vette. The Vette I ordered from the factory in September 1972 which now needs some electrical detective work and a new paint job, otherwise it's delightful, functional and pristine... which is what a machine needs to be, if not people.

Machines don't bitch and don't create a mess, but do require space, time and money... just like a wife and kids do. Even my iRobot Roomba vacuum cleaner dog-substitute requires an overhaul every three years. And all machines have risk as compared to not doing or having anything at all. But compared to people with their complexity, high maintenance, games played, outrageous demands, uncontrolled emotions and unsolvable problems... machines are no risk at all.

Less is better. Of everything... machines and people. Especially the love of.


-© 2010 by Willy

The Future

Time is the fourth dimension.

There are a few different ideas of time. Some call time an artifact, created for man, to keep everything from happening all at once. Others say past, present and future co-exist simultaneously in different dimensions (or so goes String Theory).

It seems to me that since we have to live with the choices we've already made, what we are now is what we've done, and so the future is defined by our actions today. Events unfold after decisions are made. Every act or choice has a chorus of consequences. Every act is a move which affects the next, changing me and everybody else... i.e., everything matters (Chaos Theory).

So, why not choose kindness, today? A kind word or deed makes miracles happen.

Key: The future tomorrow is our decision today. Choose wisely. I choose grace.


-© 2010 by Willy

P.S., it's time to go on.

High and Mighty versus...

Tiger Woods is the latest casualty in a never-ending list of The Fallen.

Here he is, the best at his field, a Billionaire, married to a swimsuit model... the perfect man everybody aspires for... and he gets taken out by what appears to be ego. Money and power goes to their heads. It's called temptation. The devil exists.

The funny thing is that it also happens to a lesser extent to the average guy. I'm sure Tiger Woods gets a million temptations for every one of mine. If you go by percentages, he was bound to fall.

I'm not the best in my field, although I'm very good. I'm not a billionaire, although I do well, I do not know any swimsuits models, although I did score a trophy wife once (or she me) when I was a socially awkward young man. I do understand the lift to the ego that leads to succumbing to temptation, but neither the temptations nor the trophy wife were worth the trouble.

No, I don't know if I'm getting hit by angel or devil, so I play it conservative. My solution has been to limit my exposure and thus minimize temptation. T. Boone Pickens, the oilman, says that the higher a monkey climbs a tree, the more people can see his ass. So I stay in the brush below, doing my thing... I'm pretty high up at work but refuse further promotion, so I get an awful lot done. Every now and then a lady smiles at me... I must remind her of her grandfather... and I ignore it. The love word comes up occasionally and I respond that I love her like a sister. I watch out for games and my favorite word is no. I don't look for "it," I apologize if the wrong impression is taken, and I bolt. And a dear old lady runs my favorite hangout, so I do not flirt with waitresses... it would be like flirting with my mother.

It may seem like a lot of work to constantly monitor and be aware of what I'm doing... to stay in stealth mode... but it's nothing compared to the loss resulting in a fall from grace. God exists too.


- text © 2009 by Willy

Exit Strategy

Johnnie and Jane went trick or treating on Halloween and knocked on an old lady's door, who gave them candy but felt it odd to close the door on them because they just stood there instead of running off to the next house, so she asked "What's the matter, kids?" and Johnnie said "We don't have an exit strategy."

Before you laugh: Afghanistan is costing us a million dollars per soldier per year.

A good joke can be reused. This one came out years ago and it was about President Bush on Iraq. President Clinton had Somalia and Bosnia, and it could have definitely been used with President Johnson on Viet Nam. The only difference is that this year "exit strategy" is called "off-ramp." It's all the same. It is unfortunate that we keep finding ourselves in the same spot, year after year, but I have to trust that our President knows a hell of a lot more than I do.

But wait... maybe I should apply this to my personal life. I should think ahead and ask myself "how am I going to get out of this" before I do anything. If I had, I would not have dated, gotten engaged, married, nor had kids (now you can laugh). I've made mistakes year after year. So, now, and in the future, I will not even date. I'm going to stick to the predictable, the reliable, even the boring... to what I know... solo... that has a built-in exit strategy. I will keep a much lower profile ("remain in the noise floor" in engineering), because I will not enter.

Versus the more common exit strategy of leaving once they get some.



- text © 2009 by Willy

P.S., That I need what I know is yet another blog.

Reflections or Summary

OK, so here's a summary of what I've learned last few years through some reflection. I hope, by jotting it here, to remind myself in the future.


Out of clutter, lead a simple but rich life both at work and at home. Work is not hard if you're doing what you love. Accept what you have to with a positive attitude. Enjoy life with people as well as solo. Don't relive yesterday. Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition. Without adversity there is no drive. Do the right thing, no matter what. Make the choice that brings me peace and serenity. Forgive everyone for everything, and forgive myself too. You cannot fix stupid... you can only laugh at it. It's hard to find the right medication for grief. Sometimes the only way to get the right perspective is to let time pass. Time heals. Trust God. The best is yet to come. Enjoy the ride.

Now all I've got to do is remember this.

Plan Checklist

Lessons learned from this year's backpacking trip with Jennifer (written at Pinkham Notch lodge library).

- Don't plan on hiking in the heat! If it's in July, it'd better be up north.

- Don't plan on hiking at too high an altitude! Dad doesn't have time to acclimatize.

- Planning ahead, everything ultralight and minimal.

- Don't even start unless dad has really trained well, is the right weight and uninjured.

- Look at the plan! And again, this time from the eyes of a 60-year-old!

- Don't hike on the day we fly in.

- Keep the mileage low for the first couple of days to warm up to the place.

- Daily mileage less than ten (there won't be anything easy).

- Come up with exit strategy, Plan B or bailout points (won't be anything easy).

- Nothing longer than a week (won't be anything easy).

- Plan on rain (in equipment, slow days and dryout spots).

- Take the GPS and extra batteries, no matter the weight (15 hours/set of 2)!

- Remember that daughter is in MUCH better shape than her dad!

On-the-way procedure that works is for dad to break camp at daylight and let daughter catch up later. Also for daughter to go ahead on climbs and wait for dad at the top. Daytime food to be on the run (bars), with one big sitdown at camp end-of-day. Drink water continuously and generously (bladder and bottles).

- © 2009 by Willy