Are Engineers Autistic?

Well, yeah! Of course. All the good ones.

I have many times stated that I have the recipe to make an engineer, even mass produce them like pies. Just like an apple pie is made with apples on a crust, engineers are a cup each of Autism or Asperger, social awkwardness or extreme shyness, obsessive compulsiveness, attention deficit, hyperactivity, obsession, solitude, logic, causality, math, physics, and science... all mixed well and wrapped tight. Engineers are about machines and code. To an engineer, a strange object is to be understood, has many functions and possibilities, and brings fun.

Engineers always have paper and pen to write down their concepts for contemplation and tasks for execution. Properly channeled, hyperactivity is good. Engineers think in fast-changing concepts and fast moving 3D pictures, not slow words. When they do think of words, the words come in fast strings with numbers attached in correlated sequence and patterns. They crave information, and they observe... noticing not only detail but also the integrated large picture of how things fit and work. Engineers own many machines of varying types and a toolbox of code. Properly channeled, obsession is good. An engineer will obsess about diet and exercise when he sees the need for health and fitness. Engineers make like machines, and they don't miss a workout.

Engineers see solvable technical challenges but impossible people problems.

Engineers do not know how to relate to people other than themselves. They would rather be alone. Their heroes are Spock, Einstein and Asimov, not Hollywood nor NFL. They can't read others' feelings because feelings make no sense and get in the way. Music is for cardio pacing or mood therapy. Young engineers wonder what the heck others did in High School, and how could anybody ever get bored (the answer is that some flks wasted High School just talking). It is difficult for an engineer to start a gym class in step or yoga, or any non-engineering class. Engineers tolerate but don't like to go to movie theaters or anywhere people congregate but instead like the broad-spectrum of machines and their museums. A manager controlling an engineer makes the engineer bust a mental gut. To an engineer, a strange person is suspect, has few functions, negative possibilities, and brings nothing but trouble.

Engineers are mostly born from that recipe at birth, but may flounder until they figure it out. Borderline nerds and geeks have to be revealed to become engineers. What throws them over the edge is typically social in nature... the bullying; boys and girls making fun of them, tricking them and taking advantage; girls breaking their heart; and their families not understanding them nor supporting their views. Engineers ferl the people they love let them down... just the way everybody else feels. 

However, I stand corrected. It may be that the Autism portion of the engineer recipe is a cup and a half. It was pointed out to me that Cambridge's Autism Research Centre had created the Autism-Spectrum Quotient, or AQ, as a measure of the extent of autistic traits in adults... their 50 questions read exactly like what makes a good engineer. How funny is that! The test is at http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html

And that's my opinion, my observation, and my life.


- © 2013 by Willy

Mamas, Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Coders

Life is not fair. Not for geniuses and not for the rest of us. The trick is to keep at it... whatever "it" is... ignoring the jeers and hearing the cheers.

Some of us have our own language, whether it's music, math or space. To a very bright 8-year-old, questions abound: Where does dirt come from? How do we balance on two little feet when we're much, much taller than these feet? How much does a bicycle tire act like a top? Why does water accept that extra oxygen atom to become hydrogen peroxide? Why does rocket fuel burn instead of explode? And how do we start that burn? How does an orbiting satellite resist the subzero cold of space on one side and the relentless sun on the other? How much does the earth rotation centripetal acceleration counter gravity effects? The wonder and questions are endless, at any age.

Every good engineer I know has some degree of Asperger's autism, obsessive-compulsion and attention-deficit hyperactivity... myself included. It's a recipe... it's what we're made of... and we're different.

As kids, we are easy targets for bullies to intimidate because we don't understand the social graces. What we do understand is that we can always be better at what we are. We stand alone. We thirst for knowledge. We must focus. Thus, with smug detachment, we continuously and repeatedly learn and apply what we know to obtain experience. With knowledge and experience comes not only the many significant contributions to space and science, but also success over bullies.

When mature, engineers contribute. I've contributed to produce many a machine. I've been published in over 140 technical reports, conference and journal papers, newspaper and magazine articles... even a poem about a machine. And I am now mentoring many young engineers on how to quench their own thirst.

The true engineer flowers late. We surpass and outlast the smug bullies and suave louses. I've had the satisfaction of ordering a burger from one of my school bullies... no fries with that... who had trouble giving me back change for a hundred dollar bill, at which I smiled. At one of the reunions, the bald fat captain of my High School football team tried to sell me insurance, as the fat former head cheerleader flirted, at which I had to laugh.

It's possible we might even outlive them.


- © 2012 by Willy

Did Watson Really Win?

So, "Watson," the IBM mainframe with artificial intelligence won at Jeopardy against the two best human opponents. It also thought Toronto was a "US City" (the category) and got every question wrong on "Month," a five-in-twelve guess! IBM will surely tout it as a PR win, but it was a dreadful performance for 25 scientists, four years of hard work and a mega-million bucks. Watson should have answered every question right, and first. I have a sneaky suspicion that, given a learning curve, the two humans could have beaten Watson, but that would not have been good PR.

Why did Watson do so badly?

The engineer would say that you're always one transistor away from failure. The athlete that he's one injury away from a loss. The old that he's one sickness away from bankruptcy. Algorithm guys should say they are one human away from being human. Humans think conceptually, whereas machines exhaust logic trees by brute force. Deep Blue beat Kasparov but Eliza is awful. Machines are profoundly ignorant of what humans take for granted. There's a lot of stuff we know that we don't even know we know.

Watson did badly because our AI algorithms just aren't there yet.

Should we worry about our own idiocy instead? What about our own human thinking, which only works when void of emotion? Should we work on our mental health instead of developing artificial intelligence?

Further, Watson really did not play against two humans... rather, Watson and the two humans played Jeopardy, with little interaction. The devil is in the interaction. For instance, even if we hold out for perfection, it may be that perfection is holding out for perfection too... and not us. And we may not recognize perfection even if it whacked us in the head.

One final point: There's a lot of difference between losing and being a loser. The two Jeopardy humans are not losers, and neither should we call ourselves that. Imperfect works just fine, and it's human. Perfection is God's business. We should be proud of being human... accepting, embracing it and applauding it.

We don't yet have to worry about machines taking over the world... no Terminator scenario yet... but Watson did well for a four-year-old toddler.

- text © 2011 by Willy

To Some Degree

People are not good or bad, not black or white, but shades of grey and hues of colors. We are all different, and we don't all think alike, but there's more to it than that. It seems to me that we all may have some amount of mental illness, i.e., we're all a little crazy. Specifically, it seems to me that the recipee for a good engineer scientist is equal parts smarts, anti-social, Asperger's, OCD and ADD/hyperactivity... or otherwise they wouldn't be good engineers.

Every good male engineer or scientist I've known had some degree of emotional issue and came unequipped to cope. The nerdy, geeky engineer's only saving grace was that he made a good living. Unfortunately, that drew the wrong girls. The engineer then got distracted by relationship and subsequent marriage and lost his edge, therefore losing his career, his marriage, his assets and his mind. The girl that understood did quite well, considering marriage a profitable business arrangement with a long time-constant. The engineer was not interested and didn't understand the expectation, time sequence nor duration and repeated the process a few times in his lifetime, bumping into love, when he should have instead understood what he is... good technically but incapable of social interaction nor romantic love. Read Einstein's life (or the many others). And, yes, me too.

The young engineer that understands early on, and does not succumb, has an tremendous, fulfilling career of significant contribution and great mental health. The engineer that understands in mid-life does contribute, to some limited extent, and finds calmness in life with the help and brotherly love of friends. The ones that never get it just waste their lives.

It would be like a tall thin kid trying to wrestle, or a powerlifter trying track. It just don't work. Gotta use your given talents.

- © 2010 by Willy

Outdated or Wiser?

The same things are true in life as in fitness and in faith.

Fall color is here and leaves are carpeting our trails. Fall comes and fall will go, just as sure as the sun will return tomorrow morning. But we learn more each year. This year I discovered ruins just beside my favorite hiking trail.

I am a 60-year-old engineer and am outdated in many things, but not The Big Picture. Yes, kids know eye-opening computer tricks and give me six significant digits of accuracy but oftentimes they get the first digit wrong... that is, they went the wrong way. Can't argue about results based on experience. We know that kids come and kids get old and go, and we all learn from each other.

The AIG/bank/wallstreet/auto bailout came a couple of decades after the Savings and Loan debacle. The economy is a shambles and we don't have the power to fix it, so we wring our hands until we remember that this, too, shall pass. It happened before and it will happen again. I have faith that as liberals come then liberals too will go. The tide comes in and the tide goes out. It ebbs and flows. Are the politicians protecting worthless bank assets incompetent or just crooks? Yes, and then they go, and we relearn not to trust them, or the banks.

We will discover the motivation to embark upon a good fitness plan... then receive an overuse injury or accident, and we stop to heal, and start all over again. Only this time we will risk less to overuse and pick where we ride.

We're living the good life and divorce happens and life gets sour. And life ebbs and flows again later. We get mad at God and then, in His time, we go back, wiser, and learn not to enter another relationship like that.

In my business, the cannon is as outdated as the slide rule, and so is the canon... all of the canons... because the truth is that nothing stays the same.

Life ebbs and flows, and there's much comfort and tranquility in knowing that, and accepting it.


- © 2010 by Willy

We Are All Peculiar

"Yep, he rode over a pothole that threw him. He broke his clavicle but also several ribs that poked and deflated a lung, sending him into ICU. He is now working from home."

"You guys are nuts! Why do you ride?"

"Because it's fun... most of the time."


I love to ride my bikes, just like I did when I was a kid. So, I do, when I can. I maintain and ride them all, with various degrees of success and frequency. And with a certain amount of risk. I have four bikes: my commuter hardtail with slicks, my Mtb four-link with Fox, my carbon road, and my very old, heavy and bulletproof college Schwinn 10-speed. And I'm always tinkering with them, cleaning and lubricating. I've had multiple accidents, some due to cars and some due to other cyclists. I've not had a solo accident since 1998 when I bought SPD-clip pedals, fell over at the first stop sign and bruised my ego.

Everybody has a peculiar love. My love is machines. I have a safe full of guns, from a scoped 30'06 to my .22 college Colt Woodsman, that I love to dissasemble and clean. Guns are risky too, especially due to idiots at the outdoor gun range. I have three cars: my old rusted "stealth" truck (women don't see me), my "locker-room" van, and my old Vette. Truck and Vette are tiny and have no airbag. So, my drug of choice is machines. My son's is computer games. My daughter is hooked on people.

All engineers like machines. A friend is into cameras, another has kayaks, and one has collections of collections stored in several garages. The older we are, the more we've accumulated, but I'm trying to reduce my junk to become simpler and more portable so that if I retire, I can fit into an apartment with bus access to give up cars. Unfortunately, I'm having a tough time deciding on a home for the Vette. I love the Vette. The Vette I ordered from the factory in September 1972 which now needs some electrical detective work and a new paint job, otherwise it's delightful, functional and pristine... which is what a machine needs to be, if not people.

Machines don't bitch and don't create a mess, but do require space, time and money... just like a wife and kids do. Even my iRobot Roomba vacuum cleaner dog-substitute requires an overhaul every three years. And all machines have risk as compared to not doing or having anything at all. But compared to people with their complexity, high maintenance, games played, outrageous demands, uncontrolled emotions and unsolvable problems... machines are no risk at all.

Less is better. Of everything... machines and people. Especially the love of.


-© 2010 by Willy

Possible

"Think about what's possible
and you'll be amazed
at what's probable!"
- anon.

When I was 8 years old the cops had car radios, most people had a telephone, and I wondered why we hadn't yet merged those two together into what's now the cell phone. It took quite a while, but this possibility became the perfect probability.

Also when I was 8 or so, I wondered if it would be possible to avoid being feeble like my 60-year-old grandfather. The probability is... yes: I pressed very heavy pecs Monday, went for a 6-mile mountain hike yesterday and will do a 28-mile spin today. We don't come with a warrantee, so it's up to each one of us to make the possibility happen... with God's grace.

None of us has any control over how long we live, but we do have some control over how we live.

There is so much possible, and seems more so probable. What a ride!

- © 2010 by Willy

In The Head

I got into a discussion with my buddy John... with whom I've worked since 1977... regarding needing a hearing aid (me and my buddies are getting up there and the topic comes up more often now). For most of us, the noise floor is up, and thus the problem is the signal-to-noise ratio, i.e., tinnitus, a "ringing in the ear."


The reason I use quotes there is that my other buddy Jim had a conjecture that tinnitus is not a hardware problem but too high a loop gain in the brain. I validated that three years ago when I took anti-depressants and my own tinnitus went away. My problem-solving statement to John is that, when the time comes, I will try pills again before I get a hearing aid. Buddy Phil thinks that the tinnitus did not go away... that I just went to la-la land and didn't care, but I disagree. I ran a hearing level test with my bedroom HEPA filter fan level as reference, and I could hear fine with the fan off, whereas now (and before the anti-depresants) it takes two fan levels to drown out the tinnitus.

This begs to ask: What else do we have overgained? Clearly, anxieties, fears and panic come to mind... and surely depression is just a product of exhaustion due to anxiety overgain... but what else?

Seems to me that a lot of life is in the software... it's in the head.

Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor, just a dam' good engineer.


- © 2010 by Willy

A Real Engineer

The times were when an engineer could work in his garage all by himself and invent a great new gizmo.

Those times are long gone.

Real engineers still help solve problems, first by careful observation and then by bold intervention, but we are now do-it-yourself self-starters with ant-like collaboration. We have to work well with others on our machines. We have to cooperate and coordinate. Sometimes we have differences and we get frustrated. Like brothers, we have to learn to get along and get past our differences. We have to share in the work, in the fun and in the glory. We have to make this people challenge equal to the technical challenge... a problem to solve.


It used to be that all we needed was a wirewrap pencil in a lab. Nowadays, it takes that plus the right words... and only the right words... spoken with all our heart, all our soul and all our might. Whether we like it or not, it's true: we have to work together to get things done.

Well, self... get on with it: go talk to the team and give them some inspiration, and remember that I'm a real engineer. I'm a real engineer. I'm a real... [clicking heels together]. Oh, for the good old days!



- text © 2009 by Willy

Funny Thoughts While Riding

Sometimes I get the most peculiar thoughts while bicycle riding.

I seldom carry an mp3 player with me due not only to safety concerns but also to my need to think things out.

Rudy Kalman, of Kalman Filter fame, one of the cornerstones of systems theory, stated that if a thing can be observed, it can be controlled.

OK, I've just lost you, so let me back up.

Where was I 40 years ago? When Neil Armstrong stepped on the moon, my liberal arts dorm roommates were picking on me because I was studying. NASA had been using all kinds of neat technical tools. The Kalman Filter was used in the Apollo computer for orbital insertions then, and I use it now for proper positioning of any vehicle. The Kalman is nothing but a simulation running onboard the rocket's computer, telling the rocket where it should be (giving observability), which comes in handy if the sensors briefly black out for any reason, like noise and vibration. Sensors being either optical or radar seekers, GPS, gyroscopes and the like. Us humans do this all the time, like when driving through fog at night, we know to keep slow and straight... unless we're at a curve on the road.

The key word is "briefly." The rocket and its sensors have to be designed for observability, and there are some things that just cannot be observed. Yeah, yeah... like teenagers out for the night. And, yes, sometimes we don't want to observe them even if we could.

Behavioral political psychologists or theorists also use this if-a-thing-can-be-observed rule in their logic, except that, to them, everything can be observed and thus everything can be controlled, even in this noisy economy. Not only do they forget their Kalman systems theory, but also, it seems, they forget their sensors altogether. Or is it their senses? The economy is shaking itself to death due to the meddling... can't these theorists observe that? Obviously not.

And, yes, it was a beauuutiful bike ride anyway! It was a relatively cool day and light traffic on an early Sunday for a solo ride at my own pace. I've never had a bad solo ride.

- © 2009 by Willy

Who Needs Anybody?

Need to bring in a 4'x4' 100-lb Easy Chair, solo? Who needs anybody! Watch this...
























As easy as rolling a box! Next watch me get in a new 7-foot 200-lb sofa. Hoooaaah! Who needs help? Solo is GOOD!

- © 2008 by Willy
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Change The World...

... from the inside and from the bottom!

Some old people take a devil-may-care attitude in their later years and go for the chocolate. I've taken that tact in a different way. Instead of indulgences, it's been activity.

From youth, I was a bookworm and a tinkerer, like any engineer. Due to my hyperactivity, I've had no problem reaching my professional pinnacle. I am respected for my organizational and technical abilities, have a great boss and am in high demand. I wear 5 hats and have dozens of helpers. I mentor those helpers because they will inherit my job sometime.

At 40 I began physical activity... a new parallel sideline... transforming myself into the physical. Ten years ago I won a benchpressing trophy, and I have the current record for my gym (all ages!) and enjoy pressing with the youth, motivating them and encouraging them. I train, hike and bike more now than I ever did. I hike 8 to 12 mountain miles every weekend. This year have two Smokeys hikes (I did a 6-hour 8-mile straight up hike to LeConte in 4-hours two weekends ago), a Rockeys hike next month and a rim-to-rim Grand Canyon hike in September. I do this because I enjoy nature... scenery, wildflowers and birds. I continue bicycle commuting to work daily (when I can), and ride a 35-55 miler on the weekends, with the goal to bicycle back from the beach (400 miles) this fall... just because I enjoy the wind in my hair. I'm very vocal and active in promoting bicycling to work, having taken part in news stories, videos and newspaper articles. I'm don't train specific but am a unusual generalist with muscles and cardio ability both. I'm proud and smug in my physical prowess... whereas my ex-wife just entered a nursing home, and my peers have trouble with the stairs, I smile instead and suggest an active lifestyple with my example.

My real work is that of a mentor, teacher, and kindness distributor... enabling others. At my job, I call myself The Roto-Rooter Man and have a plunger in my office as a symbol to help make things flow again. I spend a considerable amount of time and money to do this. I'm the vice-chair of the Industrial Advisory Committee for one of the local colleges. I taught 20 years in the evenings, to good reviews. I buy dozens of birthday cakes a year for work and elsewhere, and actively look for possibilities not just to help but to teach 'em to fish. After all, I'm a co-dependent, and I am what I am.

I disagree that happiness is a good relationship. Nor the usual FFF (Friends, Fun, Food) nor PPP (Possessions, Power, Prestige). To me life and happiness is first contributing... from the bottom up... and then being content and proud of what you are and what you have done. I have an enormous amount of power to change the world from the inside and from the bottom, and I'm doing so with very few people noticing.

- text © 2008 by Willy

P.S., How do you change the world? One small act of kindness at a time.

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Ode to mentor

I just buried my friend Bob. He lived to be 72 but had diabetes, and I was surprised that he lasted this long. Bob was a technical tutor or mentor to me and other young men for thirtysome years.

On the other hand, he had his buddies too. His lunchtime bridge games were comical and entertaining. It took 8 pall bearers because 5 were his age. I felt I was carrying the entire thing, quite the honor.

Bob had one note on a wall: "Lack of planning on your part does not make it an emergency on my part." I now have the same on my own wall.

He used to tell us to be tough and smart enough so that others don't take you or your work for granted.

Bob was as jovial as they come. If he wasn't in his office, I just listened for his laughter to find him.

Goodbye, Bob. I miss you.

-© 2008 by Willy

P.S. This was certainly closure. A mental exercise or simulation of which tremendously helped with my ex's relationship closure. This is a mental picture and technique to store in my toolbox.

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Sensing

From boyhood, I've been very nearsighted, and almost blind without my glasses (5 spherical). Of course, I need my glasses to drive, bike, use the PC, and watch TV, but not to read nor to work out. Matter of fact, there are advantages to taking my glasses off when on a cardio machine or while lifting weights: it's easier to wipe the sweat off, and I can concentrate better, shutting off the world around me. One problem is that people think I'm unfriendly.

Without glasses, I can only see motion and color, so from a distance I can only recognize two of the guys (and none of the gals) because they shave their heads. If I see a blurry moving figure with light reflecting off their heads, it's likely to be either Charlie or the new guy. And I can tell it's Charlie if there's another moving figure with him, since he's a personal trainer and the new guy isn't. So, there's some sensing that gives me a 50-50 chance of it being Charlie, but there's some intelligence used too that brings that chance to 100% being Charlie.

The same process is used in missile algorithms. The dumb seeker can see only motion and contrast, but the computer inside carries "rules" that increase the probability of what it sees as being the target. For instance, similarly to the Charlie discussion, if the seeker (first rule) finds motion and color/contrast but (second rule) it's only one moving spot, then it may not be a tank, since tanks usually move in packs, and then (third rule) size, color, shape, heat (or whatever) is pursued.

If your dumb eyes tell you that your significant other is (first rule) coming towards you, but (second rule) she's spewing bile, and (third rule) normally doesn't want anything to do with you, then that's not really a significant other. Duh!

- © 2008 by Willy
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My Song

A bird does not sing because it has an answer... it sings because it has a song.

That's just the way he is, and that's all he is.

So, what am I? Even though I have an answer, no matter the question, can I shut up and sing instead? What is my song?

I am unrivalled in technical matters, but am lousy at and a co-dependent in romantic relationships, and am working on it. My goals are to accept the past and to avoid worry and regret for today.

My song is a litany of success in technical contributions and tutelage. I'm kind and helpful to others. I motivate, tutor, mentor, teach and otherwise educate others to stand on their own two feet, grow and contribute... whether at home, work, college, societies, church, gym, bike, trail, or store. I do sometimes have trouble recognizing that I can't teach a pig to sing, but it eventually dawns on me. I'm sold on doing acts of kindness because I have received them myself, but expect nothing in return other than my own enjoyment.

I like my song, and I'm a happy man. I have an awful lot to sing about: the great career with work I enjoy, living in a terrific part of the country that permits hiking and biking to the max, control over my life, and great friends and family.

[The reader (me!) should remember that I continue to sort out how I feel from different perspectives, and thus the apparent repetition. I'm going to get it right, yet. This is, after all, my therapy.]

- text © 2008 by Willy

P.S., "I gotta be me!" -Sammy Davis Jr.

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Understanding Engineers

An engineer is born, not made. Shocking, isn't it? He's the kid who blows the fuses, breaks his own nose, almost drowns in a pool, collects every neighborhood TV thrown out, actually liked High School math and science, and stays a virgin through college. The one that had an uncontrollable urge to show his parents better ways to do things, even though they didn't care.

Beware of wolves in geek guise... a degree does not an engineer make!

For a true engineer, happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in depth... happiness is to tinker. An engineer doesn't idle well.

True engineers know Pi, e, c, the square root of 2, the sine of 30, and the log of 5... just because. Who wouldn't?

Engineers think highly of their abilities. Surely you've heard of the old codger of a retired engineer who was called by his company to figure out what was wrong with an old machine. He listened to it then wrote equations on the chalkboard and finally circled his answer. When asked to itemize his bill, he wrote "Chalk $1, knowing what to write $9,999." He was hoping his old company wouldn't bother him again.

To an engineer, shaft alignment is critical, but not sexual harassment. When you overhear him muttering he's going to pump it 'till it blows, he's just having trouble conducting a test. When he asks "Are you getting enough head?" he is problem-solving, not prying into your personal life. However, he might get in trouble with the procurement gal when he asks her for some nipples.

In engineerese, when an engineer tells you that he'll look into it, he is not brushing you off... but it will take him a while to play with it. Everything to him is either things that needs fixing or a thing that will need fixing after he plays with it. Engineers like to solve problems, so if there is no problem, he will create his own.

No engineer looks at a gadget, like a television remote control, without wondering what it would take to turn it into something more "useful." Those new defibrillators showing up in hallways make great bench power supplies.

There are two kinds of engineers: the ones who like risk and the ones who don't. The ones who like risk become rocket scientists, and the others become their managers.

The fastest way for a manager to solve an engineering problem is to declare that the problem is unsolvable. No engineer can walk away from an unsolvable problem until it's solved. No illness or distraction is sufficient to get the engineer off the case.

Another management ploy is to threaten to give the tough problem to another engineer. Nothing is worse to an engineer than the suggestion that somebody else has more technical skill.

Thus, engineers don't like their managers. An engineer figures that the less you know, the more you make... and can prove this mathematically. Geeks may inherit the earth but have no wish to rule it, so a manager will stay out of the engineer's way if he knows what's good for him.

Engineers are different from mathematicians. For one thing, engineers don't shine their shoes. Also, whereas a mathematician believes in eventually reaching the correct answer to 10 places, engineers believe a two-digit guess now is good enough.

And our Southern engineers are different from their Yankee brethren. Only our engineers would calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support an 8-pound possum 6 feet from the trunk (know the answer?).

An engineer not in a relationship has the ability to concentrate on one subject to the complete exclusion of everything else in the environment. This sometimes causes engineers to be accused of sleeping on the job or pronounced dead prematurely. It's best to just wait and see if he comes out of it... with an answer.

Engineers are always honest in matters of technology and human relationships. That's why it's a good idea to keep engineers away from customers, romantic interests, and other people who can't handle the truth.

Clothes are the lowest priority for an engineer. Assuming the basic needs for warmth and decency have been satisfied, anything else is a waste.

An engineer's objectives for boring social interaction is to get it over with as soon as possible, or to avoid getting invited to begin with. Engineers prefer machines. Some non-geeks say engineers ARE machines... we appreciate the compliment.

Dating is tough for engineers. Others create a false impression of attractiveness, but engineers are incapable of placing appearance above function.

Unfortunately, engineers are widely recognized as superior marriage material: intelligent, dependable, employed, honest, and handy around the house or fixing your PC... and have high-paying jobs long before losing their virginity... resulting in the inevitable disrupting divorce with child support and alimony. Wolves abound on all sides.

As an aside, if you are a young engineer, my suggestion is to get a vasectomy NOW, while you can... too late for me, save yourself!

Eventually, this too is forgotten because, to the engineer, the world is a wonderful toy box full of sub-optimized and feature-poor toys to play with.

- © 2007 by Willy
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