In The Head

I got into a discussion with my buddy John... with whom I've worked since 1977... regarding needing a hearing aid (me and my buddies are getting up there and the topic comes up more often now). For most of us, the noise floor is up, and thus the problem is the signal-to-noise ratio, i.e., tinnitus, a "ringing in the ear."


The reason I use quotes there is that my other buddy Jim had a conjecture that tinnitus is not a hardware problem but too high a loop gain in the brain. I validated that three years ago when I took anti-depressants and my own tinnitus went away. My problem-solving statement to John is that, when the time comes, I will try pills again before I get a hearing aid. Buddy Phil thinks that the tinnitus did not go away... that I just went to la-la land and didn't care, but I disagree. I ran a hearing level test with my bedroom HEPA filter fan level as reference, and I could hear fine with the fan off, whereas now (and before the anti-depresants) it takes two fan levels to drown out the tinnitus.

This begs to ask: What else do we have overgained? Clearly, anxieties, fears and panic come to mind... and surely depression is just a product of exhaustion due to anxiety overgain... but what else?

Seems to me that a lot of life is in the software... it's in the head.

Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor, just a dam' good engineer.


- © 2010 by Willy

Relationship Shelf Life

My daughter flew home for Christmas and we drove to a family reunion afterwards in Florida. As captives for a week, we did some talking, and agreed on one point:


Relationships have a shelf life. They go bad, like eggs.

Now, let me state that I respect everyone who has been married for eons, and you are the refreshing exception, but statistics and experience shows the rule is that romantic relationships are difficult to maintain.

My history shows that my relationships shelf life has shrunk as I've aged. My marriage lasted ten years but I just don't have the umpf any more to put up with characters on a daily version... and neither does anybody else. The exception is for buddies that, obviously, only see each other on occasion instead of every blessed night.

How long is the shelf life?

Depends on the relationship. Just like fine wine ages forever (the exception), and chicken has to be consumed soon, relationships can last from soon to forever... but the mean seems to be closer to the soon rather than to the forever. Even refrigerated. Check the label.

To love and friendships.

- © 2010 by Willy

P.S., Love and relationships do not always correlate, i.e., to me, love may indeed be forever, unlike its associated relationship.

Logic Over Emotion

My daughter is terrific with people and usually emotional; I'm very good at machines and usually hardhearted; thus we sometimes consult with each other on problemsolving. Some times the solution is a warm hug, and sometimes it's detachment.

A cousin had knee surgery and drives a stickshift, and my daughter is helpful and drives an automatic. She posed the possible solution of swapping cars.

I answered that (1) the cousin had loaned her car to the daughter before, so there was a precedent, (2) there will be a cost for adding each other to their insurances as compared to the cousin getting a rental car, but (3) if the cousin's surgery was her right knee, then neither of the above matters and cousin should just chill out for another month because insurance will be invalid and the risk of crash is significant.

The daughter liked this logic, and I was glad to have contributed.

Sometimes logic works better than emotion. Some times.

- text © 2010 by Willy

P.S., but it's always function over form.

Touchstones

Every house has a foundation and every machine has a frame, and every person has to have a touchstone or cornerstone.

My touchstones are my career and my 1973 Corvette. My career started in 1960 with a love of rockets and a distaste for people. I ordered my Vette in 1972 and I have measured my life as referenced to the Vette. Many people have dissapointed me, whereas the Vette has independent suspension, all disk brakes, plenty of power, looks great and does not criticize me. I take it out for a hard drive some weekends to calibrate myself.


My psychologist daughter's touchstone is people. She has to touch that foundation often, and feels refreshed and recharged when she does. She just got back home after a couple of weeks with family.


- © 2010 by Willy