Out with the old

A promising new year is coming in an hour. Full of possibilities and chances. Anything is possible if I focus on it... and let go my luggage and garbage. No "resolutions," just trying to stick to current goals.

Having a tough time.

Why Are We Here?

I'm thoroughly disgusted. The shallow-and-selfish have ruled me much too long, and have thrashed me in doing so... from broken heart to broken retirement... but the worse injury is that they have broken my spirit. I'm sick and tired of it... I'm mad as hell, and I won't take it any more!

Let me back up. Our real purpose may be love in action. This includes contributing to others through kindness... thus serving others. I know that this is not a popular activity... matter of fact, you're seen as an idiot for doing so among the shallow-and-selfish... but then look at the shape we're in due to them.

Arthur H. Prince stated that the purpose of life is not to be happy. The purpose of life is to matter, to be productive, to have it make some difference that we have lived at all.

I agree with that, but if THEY don't contribute, what good are they? And if we're here to contribute to others, then what is the purpose of those others we contribute to? Why are THEY here? OK, so, either EVERYBODY contributes, or I quit them!

In the case of the financial sector, and as stewards of the public dollar, it's the obligation of government to exercise due diligence to protect the common wealth and serve the public good. This is something much lacking lately. Advocates of servicing the public need are not doing their job, so I'm withdrawing from all Wall Streeters, big bankers and their ilk.

Withdrawing? What? Well, I won't take it any more. I'll say no to the greedy gunk that have been controlling our destiny and getting rich at our expense. I won't give them my dollar and enable their bad behavior. I've been gradually withdrawing from financial sector markets into less risky and more tangible assets. Not only that but I have been simplifying my life and cutting down on buying... by fixing, finding a used one, reducing consumption or making do without.

I will be kind to others, but I will also closely monitor their behavior, and will disengage when I see a lack of reciprocity. I will play the well-known solution to the Prisoner's Dilemma (see Scientific American, starting circa 1982). I will be Nice, Clear, Provocable and Forgiving... and continuously observe and monitor them. If they don't contribute, I'm firing them.

I'm now dealing with my co-dependence to a much grander scale. This is going to mend my spirit. The financial sector and other shallow-and-selfish can kiss my $.

- © 2008 by Willy
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It's Coming, Again

In engineering, as in physics, we're very used to detecting things indirectly. You are too. Your dog barks and you know somebody's there. An object's shadow is sometimes larger than the object itself. Observation of effected and unexpected dynamics give it away. Correlation with associated behavior points it out.

Well, one thing that's coming is clearly the upcoming national bankruptcy due to the financial sector's unbridled professional thieves, with their accomplices in congress... an inevitable derailment that seems unstoppable and will destroy this country from the inside. Since we've had these before, you'd think we'd steer away.

The real thing that's coming and welcomed is Christ's birthday. Since Labor Day, we've had Christmas displays at stores. Closer in it's not just traffic jams and full parking lots but the inability to do regular shopping.

In my specific case, two additional things give away the season.

One is the inevitable upper respiratory infection, no doubt due to chilly temperatures while hiking and bicycling. Some Decembers are worse than others, and this one has been bad, having had to take off a week from work. It still lingers.

The second thing that gives away the season for me specifically is that my home stationary bicycle gets dusted off and begins its use, which will happen today. It's just too cold to hike or bike given that I'm still sick, and my regular gym is closed on Sundays.

I like the time off at Christmas. I really want to enjoy my peace and quiet both at home and at work. I can catch up at work this time of year simply because the storm quits swamping the boat and I can bail it dry, and I can relax and do my activities at home unencumbered with commitments.

I've had many discussions on the life of solitude that I've chosen lately. I find it joyful in its simplicity, with a maximum of independence, and better than monastic life by far. While taking a class on stress management from a nun, I just had to ask her what the hell does a nun in a monastery know about stress? She responded that she has to live with 50 other women!

There is also a third thing that could be coming. I've been very human, but I'm understanding my prior mistakes and trusting on early sensing and detection to stay away from trouble. The larger shadow will tell me trouble's coming, and then I must control myself, and stay detached and away. Unlike the upcoming national depression, this one I can avoid.

Yep, there's lots of stuff coming, again. Some good and some bad.

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- text © 2008 by Willy

Mistakes

There are many stories about unintentional pregnancies due to the risk of contraceptive failure. In one case, the girl confessed to her OB/GYN that she had always viewed pregnant single girls as either incredibly stupid or incredibly selfish, to which he responded "Or they’re incredibly human."

I'm less obvious, but I carry all sorts of baggage, including old mistakes... stupid, emotional and selfish, but human. I've been lucky in that I've recovered, however, I may be blind to my own faults while eager to point out their sins to others. Very human.

I hate somebody else trying to control me and change me. One of my sins may be that since I want to control my own life, I may extend control to those around me in some sense or in part. I don't mean to do this, but the difference between controlling myself and controlling my immediate environment is fuzzy indeed.

I am thankful for being just the way I am, and thus I have to be thankful for them being just the way they are too, no matter what. We are all intentionally diverse. It's a lie to think we're not good enough. Whether we're going to get through life or not is all up to each of us... not just me. There's a lot of healing in letting go... the acceptance of others.... and concentrating on fixing myself.

Just don't encroach into my environment.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change... courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.


- © 2008 by Willy
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Political Corruption

The term Political Corruption is becoming redundant. The poster child for this was Tricky Dicky's resignation clip "I'm not a crook," right after his vice-president, Spiro Agnew, resigned amidst charges of extortion, tax fraud, bribery, and conspiracy. President and Vice-President! That was in the early 70's, but it seems that there's a whole lot more of it now, at all levels.

Right now Illinois governor Blagojevich is in the news, and the media should be digging in to see who else is connected to the alleged blatant Senate-seat-for-sale scheme. I sure hope it does not taint the presidency.

New York's powerful Rep. Charlie Rangel, long time chairman of the hugely powerful House Ways and Means Committee is being investigated for ethics violations regarding an oil and gas drilling company gift.

But it's also happening in minor states and municipalities. When Alabama's Secretary of State pays her company and family out of campaign funds, and the same state's Attorney General accepts box seats for a pro baseball game from a state utility... and neither one thinks it's wrong... then corruption has become either the norm or unusually wholesale. It comes in Sam's Club sized packages, and it has permeated society.

God, save us all from these disgusting predators. Let them be hoisted by their own petard... let their own insatiable greed flatten them.

And, God... bless the honest man. Honest politics is a business of serving with patience and its economy is one of deferred compensation. Once out of office, the honest man can cash in on books, speeches, lobbying and introductions through contacts made and knowledge gained.


- © 2008 by Willy
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Open Your Eyes

Pepito tells his teacher late one afternoon that his cat just had five kittens and that all of them believe in Fidel and the Cuban revolution.

The following morning the proud teacher takes Pepito to see the principal.

"Pepito, tell the principal what you told me yesterday."

"My cat had five kittens, and two of them believe in the revolution."

"Pepito! Yesterday you told me that all five kittens believe in the revolution. How's that?"

"Oh, yes, teacher... but this morning three of them opened their eyes."


[This anecdote was popular in 1959]


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Shelter

Thankfully, I now live in a nice, comfortable house with plenty of space in and out. Not the Windsor Castle, mind you, but a darned good place for an engineer, brought on as an evolution to a long developing career. It keeps the rain out and gives me a place to sleep.

I was watching the back yard this morning and noticed a wren building a nest in one of the birdhouses. The wrens' loud song wakes me early on weekends, so I knew that they were around. The male wren is a hard worker, developing many nests.

I used to wonder how birds survive storms, but my observation is that they don't. Last spring, after a nasty storm, my bird feeders went weeks without needing refill. And this happens repeatedly.

If their instinct lets them, a birdhouse is the Windsor Castle to a bird. I have several birdhouses, but not all birds use them, and many die in storms.

I remember several times in my life when I had no home. Times were when I made like the wren and built my nest from scratch. They were bad times, long gone. Life is sooo good now!

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- © 2008 by Willy

Eating Well

When I was in Middle School and early High School, the welfare department gave us commodity cheese, powdered milk and big cans of Spam. Breakfast was milk, I took cheese sandwiches to school, and grandma cooked that Spam every night while it lasted. I delivered newspapers, cleaned toilets and mopped floors but there was just no money for frills, like much food.

It wasn't just Ethiopia where boys were undernourished.

When I was a starving college student, I ate almost exclusively 9-cent boxes of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, and it was unusual to have a burger. My diet had little protein, so I wonder how I stayed alive those years... at 21, I was 6'1" but my pants waist size was 28" Slim. When I visited grandma, she'd try her hardest to fatten me up with what she had.

When I got my first career job, I had money, and I actually went out for lunch daily. It was burgers and fries or steak and loaded baked potato. Then some honey saw that and grabbed me and married me, and there went my brief good eating time.

All of a sudden I was a young man with a huge mortgage, cars, demanding wife and two kids. We ate oatmeal for breakfast, I again took cheese sandwiches to work for lunch, and we had an awful lot of beans for dinner.

In general, it was not until I progressed in my career and made more money, that my eating got good but bad... because milk, oatmeal, rice and beans... the poorman's diet... are real good for you, not lots of steak and potatoes nor a steady diet of fast food.

So, when the wife went crazy with demands and left us, things got good and we three started eating out at McDonald's, Taco Bell and Arby's, and I got heavy and so did my daughter. The son did not but he had hollow legs. We called Taco Bell "The Kitchen."

That was a while back. The kids left long ago and I've had some awful relationships (the grabbing honeys were still out there). It's just terrible how some people treat themselves and others.

More recently, I'm staying away from fast food and fast women. I eat soy milk for breakfast, a reasonably balanced lunch at the work cafeteria, a protein bar for an afternoon snack and try to eat a small dinner at home after gym or ride. I haven't eaten beef in years but stick to chicken and fish. It's a constant battle to stay at a weight at which I can do all my outdoor activities I love so much, like hiking and bicycling, while maintaining the muscle mass to weightlift at the gym. Since I live alone now... ignoring the grabbing honeys... with my iRobot Roomba vacuum cleaner "dog" and a forest backyard full of wild birds and animals... I don't have any excuse except to eat right.

So I'm eating well now and I'm having the best time in my life.


- © 2008 by Willy
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Greed

Greed is why Wall Street sold out America but the arrogant, greedy, thieving, conniving bastards and bitches are not limited to the world of money and investment. Amazingly, it goes down to the everyman who took out a 120% mortgage he knew he could not pay and spent the cash today, figuring to move out tomorrow.

There's no reason to strengthen the ramparts because the looting and pillaging of America were done from the inside. We did not have to worry about the Reds nor the terrorists... we screwed ourselves in the name of selfish greed, and now we're about to bankrupt the country.

We've pawned the national silverware to finance the plastic spork with which to eat the fat goose that laid our golden egg.

I've seen this same trend in relationships: Nobody cares about anybody... it's just what's in it for them, today. Not just Where's-Mine greed but Screw-You greed. No code of ethics or morals anywhere.

How disgusting can it get? "The budget should be balanced, the Treasury should be refilled, public debt should be reduced, the arrogance of officialdom should be tempered and controlled, and the assistance to foreign lands should be curtailed lest Rome become bankrupt. People must again learn to work, instead of living on public assistance." - Cicero, 55 BC.

The inmates are running the asylum, raping and plundering as they go.

It's horrible!

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- © 2008 by Willy