Exciting Hike

It's always exciting to go do an out-of-town hike. The mountains were clear this time, going against their name. At the Smoky Mountains' Ramsey Cascade trail, a big 200-lb mama bear with 3 cubs found us and came towards us. We bunched together, made noise and eventually she went away, but we had a few anxious seconds, which will be retold for hours. A solo hike might have been scary, so there is safety in numbers, if not peace.

The 8-mile Boulevard climb to Mount LeConte took me 4 hours, and I came in 3rd of 16 to the top, beaten by two ladies... one with a bad back and the other with recent knee surgery. Not great but not too bad either.

I continue my Saturday hikes in between my bike commuting, with the Sunday 55-mile loop ride getting shorter lately due to the extreme heat. I've got to admit that I'm now in much better shape for hiking than biking, mostly because there's shade in the mountains. In today's group hike, we did an 8-mile 900-footer in 3 1/2 hrs, with a rescue afterwards. And still lift and do daily cardio at gym.

I do what I can, and I do a lot.

- © 2008 by Willy
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Co-Dependency Tool

When I told my close buddies that I've been doing the 12 steps at Co-Dependents Anonymous, they thought I either had some sort of drinking problem or was dancing Texas cowboy style.

A co-dependent is somebody who provides for a dependent, where that dependent should take care of him/herself and the co-dependent should mind his own business. However, like other things, it's not that simple. Us daddy/mamas are naturally co-dependents when we grow up our babies, and have to moderate and then stop as they grow up and out... and switch to nurturing.

Also, there's subjective judgment about the dependent's capabilities, and many other excuses and false reasoning to co-depend.

Co-dependency happens with relationships, romantic or otherwise. For instance, John, as moderator of my Co-Dependents Anonymous group is himself a co-dependent to the dependent group... of course!

A summary solution of co-dependency is that I must always make the choice that brings me peace and serenity, which is to detach.

Occurring often in relationships for a co-dependent is the quandary on how to nurture but yet not be co-dependent. Fluffy (see comments) has a great short and sweet point when she said that the successful nurturer always keeps him/herself separate from the person being nurtured. When you start confusing your needs with the other's needs, you are in trouble.

I'd better add that to my tool chest... the mental image of a nun slapping a yarstick on a desk saying "AND WHOSE NEED IS THAT?"

It's going to help!

- © 2008 by Willy
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Nurturing

Does your significant other need reinforcement? Tell her you love her and give her a tight hug, and vice versa.

Yeah, right... wish it was that easy!

There are Nurturers lurking out there. And if you find a good one, you're a lucky dog, because there aren't enough to go around. These people have a gift from God... they ARE a gift from God. Their words do to your mind about what a good deep massage does to your body. Notice that there is correlation between nurturing and a positive attitude, a friendly smile, and a hug at just the right time. It would make sense to understand them and perhaps borrow their gift... to nurture others. But it also might be a bad mistake, since it might drive you into a few co-dependencies, which will require you to go to a Co-Dependents Anon group, seriously.



Back in the beginning, it was obvious that a new dependent baby needs nurturing, but sometime in its life it also needs to be kicked out of the nest to fly on its own. [An aside: I'm a grampa!]



Questions: What happens in between? What happens afterwards? How do you nurture and yet not become a co-dependent? And the biggest question of all is how does the nurturer get nurturing in time of need (since we're all human and even Superman falls to kryptonite).

The obvious answer to the latter is that the nurturer needs another nurturer. Answers to the former are not as simple, but are based upon the fact that I can't do it all for everybody.

The fact that a nurturer needs another nurturer should give us a clue. Life is too short to waste, so love the people that treat you right and detach from the ones that drain you. Thus, keep your thinking positive, hang around the right people and be ready with a hug.

Some people matter and always will. Some never did and never will.

Yeah, it CAN be that easy!

- © 2008 by Willy

Who Needs Anybody?

Need to bring in a 4'x4' 100-lb Easy Chair, solo? Who needs anybody! Watch this...
























As easy as rolling a box! Next watch me get in a new 7-foot 200-lb sofa. Hoooaaah! Who needs help? Solo is GOOD!

- © 2008 by Willy
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What It Is

That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. That is, what matters is what something is, not what it is called.

People try to hide what they are in executing their deceptions... intentionally become self-deceptive (believe their own bull) so that they appear honest and innocent to others.




But a pig smells like a pig, no matter what she's called.




It is what it is, people are what they are, and there's nothing anybody can do for them. However, there is something we can do for ourselves... examine their deception to figure out what they really are... then leave that pig as soon as possible.

Don't believe the lie... don't fall in their trap and believe their self-deception... no matter who they seem to be, bosses, friends, lovers, whomever. Save yourself!


- text © 2008 by Willy
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Apology To The Ex

Dear Ex...

I would like to apologize to you for assuming that your private assurances to me regarding your desire to cooperate in our efforts to develop our relationship were sincere. I'm embarrassed to admit that after all these years, I failed to interpret your previous assurances as typical rhetoric gloss routinely used to make self-interested posturing appear more noble.

This is based upon a McCain note to Obama during congress. If this is over your head ... Never mind.

Not copyrighted by Willy
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Generations

"If they are happy then they are successful" is the modern generation definition.

My older generation defined success as having enough discipline and sacrifice to save the money to afford house, car and kids, the accouterments that went with it, with the requisite independence and contributions. Happy came a distant sixth.

"How is THAT going to make ME happy?" the newbies chant in unison.

The concept of independence has been lost through the generations. My grandparents were able to build a successful life without WalMart. My concept of independence is to stand on my own two feet and bother others as little as possible. Most of the current generation seems to think nothing of bothering friends and family for menial things like dropping off a car for an oil change. They don't even know where the dipstick is, the dipsticks.

My generation would not even think of moving back home with mom and dad... living in a tent being preferred... but many of the new generation do this with no shame... sponging off mom and manipulating dad.

My grandmother thought of a little fat as being healthy, wealthy and successful, since a little fat allowed a person to survive through a famine better than a thin person. Most of this new generation seems to be pure fat but couldn't survive a single day without food, the softies.

In business, the Peter Drucker generation believe success to be determination, goal setting, concentration and courage. Many of the new generation thinks of business success as being able to get something for nothing. They remind me of an irresponsible puppy, cute and entertaining, but useless.

Will this Rome burn?

- © 2008 by Willy
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