The Why Of It...

My daughter had a boyfriend heartache, so she came home to talk to an old friend. The breakthrough came: "She told me something powerful: 'You may be all the Jesus some people see.'"

Now, that's a terrific solution statement, no matter what the problem is, but it's difficult for this ol' engineer to understand matters of the heart. Experience 'em, yes, but understand, no. Engineers do heads, not hearts.

I had earlier reminded her that the last stage in grief is acceptance, but now I just listened and took her out and showed her some stress-reducing things that work for me and may work for her too, like feeding the ducks and hanging out by a gurgling brook. We hiked in my backyard mountain... the inchworms were raining down this weekend, no doubt incubating in our oak-pine-hickory canopy above, but more about that some other time.

You would think that figuring out life is easy... that the number of heartaches someone will experience in their lifetime (Nh) is equal to the number of temptations (Nt) that occur times the probability of succumbing to temptation given the temptation (Ps/t). But life is not an equation Nh = Nt x Ps/t. And Ps/t is tough to figure. Life is not Yes or No, Black or White... it's endless grayscale, infinite graduations of brightness and hues of an uncountable number of colors, with a timescale and with many strings attached.

But I do agree that cutting down the number of temptations, and me behaving like Jesus, does result in a simpler life with less heartache... for me and for you too.


- © 2010 by Willy

It's Summer!

The Mayapple flower buds are peanut-sized, the Trillium were open and the sun was hot... that's summer in The South. I should have done this before (I've been busy and away) but today I put the plants and hoses out, raked pear leaves, trimmed dead bushes, sprayed weed killer, broadcast weed-and-feed and turned the sprinklers to Auto. I did all this after completing the usual 6-mile mountain hike in just 2 hours, which is pretty darned good time for the terrain. Did I get extra energy due to the summer sun? What's happened lately? It just might have been closure, finally. Let's hope this continues... it was a terrific day.

While I walked I was thinking that I did not need a reason to be happy... I just am. I am fortunate, too.

- © 2010 by Willy

My Visit With The Monks

Happy Easter resurrection. I just got in after spending a few days as a guest of a monastery. A small group attending a small group of monks'. This year one became a priest, one died, they had five novices (the most ever) and a chef instead of a cook (correlation to the most ever novices?). The beautiful liturgy, elegant chants and interesting lectures were terrific, and keep me grounded.

Lent is time to fast from delight, so I snuck out yesterday and bought two big chocolate Easter bunnies to gorge on today, a ritual which I do every year too. I'll be sick to my stomach by tomorrow.

I had a long talk with one of the priests, whom I've known well for 15 years (my troublemaker son went to school there). I told him that I noticed that for the last couple of years I've become ornery. I don't like crowds either. I'm an old man with no tolerance for fools like the swivelhead teen in front of the pew nor the cougher behind. "Stay in community," he essentially said, "tolerate, do discipline of the eyes."


- © 2010 by Willy


P.S., in his talk, this priest quoted Malcolm Muggeridge stating "It's those times of biggest failures when I grew as a man and close to God."