I have been having a great time for the last year or two with some long-time good friends. They're terrific... smart and capable.... and I enjoy them.
But the devil does show up eventually to mess things up. Relationships are unstable. People are more complex than rocket science... by far.
I am good to the core... no drama, and what you see is what you get.
Recently, things seemed to be in a fix. Nothing was working... arguing back lengthened it and a calm response did too, silence did not work, and laughing enraged them worse.
I chose.
It is a simple thing I tried: I chose to translate rage as terms of endearment. No matter what they said, I hear "I love you." So, I smile and think back "I love you too," and I mean it.
How can you argue with that? They know I do this, I smile, and the instance is defused.
I can't change them, but I can choose to wear rose-colored glasses to interpret those instances of devil into angel... for my mental health. It's a good way to decline an invitation to an argument. It works... when I remember to do it.
No, I don't know what I do to enrage them, and they can't tell me either. And, yes, I know I'm no angel.
The more usual solution is to just leave.
-text copyright 2014 by Willy.
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