Dependent Independence

Are you independent or a dependent?

Wikipedia does not show a listing for Independence other than for a nation. On the other hand, it lists a Dependent as "One who relies on another for support ."

Do you get free rent? Right, you are a dependent. Do you bother others for rides or whatever? Do you depend on the generosity of kindhearted people around you? Do you spend more than you earn? Then you are definitely a dependent!

Would you rather do what you want regardless of what it does to others? Regardless of what you should be doing? Now you are irresponsible, not independent.

Would you rather do what you want regardless of your significant other? And control him, telling him what to do, and where to turn? Being difficult? Not compromising? Criticize him about everything? Praising other men's virtues to his face? Inviting other men over to the house? Never giving a shit about him? Just there for the free ride? Then you are a fraud, abusive, cruel and disgusting, but you are not independent.


Do you steal your significant other's prescriptions? If so, you are not just a dependent, but a criminal.

Finally, do you get along in life based upon your looks? Your cuteness? Your innocence? Your... dependency?

And those kindhearted, giving people around you are called Co-dependents. Sooner or later, they will get tired of you taking and not giving. They will see you for what you are, mutual self-deception notwithstanding. They will tire of putting up with your shit, no matter how cute you are. Even those who love you will eventually leave you.

You would be independent if you are able to stand on your own two feet. If you'd spend less than you earn, earn more than you spend (a solution is to get a degree and then a better job, and/or quit spending!). Maybe if you'd contribute in some way... by taking good care of house and home, by supporting your significant other with a kind, positive, giving, loving, attitude, honestly share your feelings, and live up to your commitments, with no deception.

I have no illusions here... to a certain extent I too am dependent on others. Even though I am a man of many talents, I do not remotely know it all or can do it all. I do depend on customers, coworkers, the government, the grocer, the doctor and the baker... to a degree. But I contribute significantly to them too. This is called interdependence. I enjoy my friendships without being a bother or a bore, and I detest those who are.

I contribute. Do you?

-©2007 by Willy
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