Control

I know how to control a machine, but how do we control ourselves? How do we bridle back our actions and emotions? Throttle down? Control our anger? Invoke self-discipline? Govern ourselves properly? Stay on the straight and narrow? Meditate and pray? Diet and exercise? Not cross the line? Not ask for a phone number?

Good questions, but ones with no apparent answer... if we read the paper or examine ourselves for flaws and urges.

A lot has been said lately on this subject with the recent demise of Cosmo’s publisher, and comparisons to Playboy. Both of these magazines are the antithesis of self-control, with their prime axioms being seduction philosophy and lack of inhibition. Sex sells, but it also brought plenty of drama and misery in this battle of the sexes, and produced plenty of casualties.

I still get temptation... like yesterday... but put me down for diet and exercise and hold the drama.

Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil, amen.

- © 2012 by Willy

Brainwashing

Brainwashing by Madison Avenue advertisers through our television is getting worse. Not only is there more ad time, but the content itself has built-in ads... spin, they sometimes call it... as reported by the media itself. It's funny, isn't it? What's not funny is that repetition works. If you hear an untruth often times enough, it does a job on your head and you believe the tripe. Not just that this gadget is excellent but that their candidate is too.

They make things up and we follow blindly.

Brainwashing is deception, and it's not just bad for your mental health, but for life and country too.

I'm glad that many years ago I got a digital video recorder. At least I can fast-forward through the obvious ads. I just have to be vigilant about the built-in/spin in news and other TV content... and think.

Mainstream news media is harmful if swallowed. Think!

- © 2012 by Willy

Hike Ended, and On The Way Home

"The more insecurities, the more you pack," remarked daughter Jennifer. She packed her dad.

We were on our way on the yearly backpacking trip that has become a tradition. This one in Maine, where she finished last year but also where she had a heartbreak. She wanted to show me Maine's beauty and also to get back on the horse that threw her.


"It's a four-holer, and has toilet paper... it's Ritzy!" I said. The daughter laughed. I was referring to the privy at the White House Landing, a hiker's little-piece-of-heaven in Maine's Appalachian Trail's 100-Mile Wilderness. It was my fifth and last day of 43 miles, which included seven mountains and 11,000 ascent-feet. But this year the rains came only at night, so it was a much more enjoyable experience than last year's White Mountains.

The only thing that went wrong was that it's raining today, which we were going to use for a seaplane ride of Mt Katahdin (this old man can't climb Katahdin!). Well, OK, the flies were bad too, but expected.

We heard all kinds of trail drama from all kinds of people. My daughter the psychologist people-person thoroughly enjoys this. I marvel at her people skills, and am amazed at the huge variance of reasons for hiking the A.T., but that discussion would be long.

"I'm not going to marry anyone that can't hike a 100-mile wilderness," said the daughter, starting yet another bonding conversation. We talked about all the fake and lazy people in both our lives. "The divorce was bad, but I got to go backpacking," said the true enthusiast. She uses hiking as meditation and problem-solving time. It's a sweet solution that works well for her.

Everyone hikes his own hike.


- © 2010 by Willy

Having Let Go

Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers. I saw my ex at the gym this week... haven't seen her in 3 years... and, yes, she's obese, and she ignored me (most fortunate for me).

Thinking back, it was tough to let go, especially since I was in love, am somewhat obsessive-compulsive and definitely co-dependent.

It's been stated that chronic lying is not a habit... it's a manifestation of a significant character flaw, and nothing will get rid of it. Lies were either verbalized lies coming out of her mouth or omissions due to her passive-aggressive personality. It's also been stated that sociopathy is a personality disorder for which a lot of shrinks believe there is no cure. You can't grow a conscience. It was either accept her as is or let her go.

Unfortunately, I had given her a ring and she had moved in. Problems started in three weeks. The turning point was to recognize her cruelty. When the stupor of love exited, I realized my problem. This allowed me to respond back with what she considered offensive... with what worked for the last guy, which was a breakthrough. It took years. Looking back, I should have let her go much earlier... but I finally did, and am the better for it.

I am delighted with today.

-© 2010 by Willy

P.S., this at the 3-year hindsight perspective.

Lock Up?

"We lock up more of our citizens per capita than brutal dictators like Robert Mugabe and Fidel Castro," wrote Cynthia Tucker in her request to end the War on Drugs.

I've got news for her. In the early 1960's, Castro's Cuban revolutionaries shot the entire previous party dead... up against a wall. No going to see a judge. It was televised, day in and day out. "Paredon!" they chanted. Thousands and thousands died, so there was no locking them up in the hoosegow. And many of the ones that were lucky enough to get to jail ended up dead anyway, due to starvation and sickness. Rape, murder and looting (in that order) were wholesale and only deterred by hefty walls and demonstration of defensive gunfire. No getting caught and going to jail for that, since the murderers were the new revolutionary party. Then in the 1980's, Fidel sent his prisoners here via the Mariel Boatlift and emptied his jails.

Since then, news and pictures have appeared of dissidents being beaten to death at the US Special Interest Section in Cuba ("the embassy")... no need to lock them up either.

Yes, Cynthia, brutal dictator Fidel Castro doesn't lock up the citizens... he kills them instead. Your statement is an insult.

"Tijuana authorities found 275 pounds of marijuana and a half-completed tunnel under the border," quipped Jay Leno, "Wonder why the tunnel was only half completed?"

Dahhh! Is it better to laugh with Leno and be ignorant like Tucker, or be stressed with the truth?


- text © 2009 by Willy

Deceivers

There are many amongst us that deceive as a way of life. They look straight at you, eye to eye, smile, and talk so convincingly that we believe every word... and get stuck. Deceit works, and it works well.

Smart deceivers don't get caught in the act. They create plausible deniability as they leave themselves room for the lie. They sweet-talk others into suspending their beliefs. They use all the right words, and they are good at it. It is amazing to me how good they are, but they practice a lot, and practice makes perfect.

We see them on TV, where politicians are in the process of giving the country away, after some good Hollywood acting and sound bites which appeal to your emotions. When they get through this second time of ransacking the treasury, the middle class will be poor and the greedy rich will be even richer.

We see deceivers at work, where they don't do anything and always have an excuse. The rest of us have to get their work done for them. Or do we?

We specially see deceivers in a relationship, where they play the odds that some people will believe them as they spin their webs of deceit to trap the trusting. Deceivers need prey to live off.

Even though we are all susceptible, and we live amongst them, we don't have to play the deceiver's game. We can counterplay with our own: keep reading...

- © 2009 by Willy

What It Is

That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. That is, what matters is what something is, not what it is called.

People try to hide what they are in executing their deceptions... intentionally become self-deceptive (believe their own bull) so that they appear honest and innocent to others.




But a pig smells like a pig, no matter what she's called.




It is what it is, people are what they are, and there's nothing anybody can do for them. However, there is something we can do for ourselves... examine their deception to figure out what they really are... then leave that pig as soon as possible.

Don't believe the lie... don't fall in their trap and believe their self-deception... no matter who they seem to be, bosses, friends, lovers, whomever. Save yourself!


- text © 2008 by Willy
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Apology To The Ex

Dear Ex...

I would like to apologize to you for assuming that your private assurances to me regarding your desire to cooperate in our efforts to develop our relationship were sincere. I'm embarrassed to admit that after all these years, I failed to interpret your previous assurances as typical rhetoric gloss routinely used to make self-interested posturing appear more noble.

This is based upon a McCain note to Obama during congress. If this is over your head ... Never mind.

Not copyrighted by Willy
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Are We OK?

One of the most interesting thing about this past year or so is my fresh understanding of "am I OK?"

I have observed people's behavior with a new perspective. My conclusion is that we're all screwed up. We're not OK. Everybody has a problem, and there's nobody out there that's immune, although there's shades of gray, degrees, or amount, that makes us different... from the walking wounded, to the dead man walking, to the murderer that done it, figuratively and literally.

It all centers on love, money and people. Everybody is looking for love... or at least a kindly smile... and everybody is looking for a handout of some sort. The problem is that seldom are they willing to provide that themselves. There are a lot more looking to receive than are willing to give... maybe a 100-to-1 ratio. It's all giveme, giveme, giveme. There's con men everywhere trying to swindle you, disguised as a pretty girl at the gym or as your best friend. We're depressed, we are dependent and we are crazy.

The most prescribed drugs in this country are antidepressants, at 118 million prescriptions in 2005 (and who knows how many self-medicate at the bar). Given that we are a nation of 300 million, this 118 is an impressive number. My doctor tells me that 40% of U.S. adults are taking antidepressants.

Solutions? There’s no need to explain yourself to others. Decide to take care of yourself. Detach! Seek solitude and do things on your own. Stand on your own 2 feet. Contribute. Give yourself a pat in the back. Be gentle with yourself and with others... and be kind to yourself and to others (but watch it and don't give the wrong impression). Laugh! Don't take things so seriously.

Decide to enjoy life!

- © 2008 by Willy
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Fantasies

"If those kids can bicycle 100 miles, then so can I." - me. This comes straight out of Middle-Age Ego and does not take into account... my age, weight and fitness level, and their age, weight and fitness level. Riding 100 miles in one sitting is tough on the tush. Ouchie! Some fantasies hurt!

I had an outside thermometer that read about 10 degrees too warm, and I loved this known fantasy, which helped me think positive: "It's not bad out there... I'm going riding!" Some fantasies can be helpful.

"Thanks" often really translates to "Kiss my butt." Usually said by new, young, women when I open a door for them. It's the way they say it. I smile back and fantasize that I'm a gentleman. Fantasies are definitely one-sided.

"All I want for Christmas is you." - Mariah Carey and lots of others. Pure Hollywood bull. Some fantasies are widespread.

Innocent and over 30? - my ex. Yeah, right. Another great fantasy but really a double bull... more like immature and irresponsible than innocent.


"I work out every day, am a beautiful, independent, adventurer." - my ex. In my experience this was her self-deception and self-fantasy, and what I really found was "Fat, shallow and self-centered parasite who will sleep with all your friends."

So, a pretty, active, innocent, independent young lady loves me and likes to sleep with me? - I believed it, of course... my fantasy and my self-deception... and I believed it for years. It was a good fantasy, but the reality was that she was just another bitch. And the world turns, and I laugh. Some fantasies are funny.

It's not the miles but the smiles.

Live well, laugh often and love much... but don't succumb.

- © 2007 by Willy
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Fears

I have my fears, like everybody else. My fears don't drive me but detour me.

I'm afraid of doing too much for the dependant types out there, because they will never learn how to take care of themselves or others. And what a world we'd have if everybody was in lululand and nobody knew how to take care. Oh... we're there already!

I'm afraid of some people's unlimited appetite for cruelty. I can't ever predict what people are going to do... but I do know for certain that intimates have screwed up my life. I know that intimates started nice but eventually demanded control and pressed every button to be cruel and mentally abusive. Machines can't be cruel or abusive.

I'm afraid to love again, fall in unrequited love again, and get depressed again. This last honey about killed me with "love."

I'm afraid of being forced into a lack of continuity... like getting abandoned by friends or family, having to move, losing my memories due to fire, having to change jobs, and the like.

Isn't everyone afraid?

Scientists at Tokyo University say they were able to successfully switch off a mouse's instinct to cower at the smell or presence of cats - showing that fear is genetically hardwired and not learned through experience, as commonly believed.

Saint Thomas Aquinas said that hopelessness and despair are the devil's main weapon against us.

In order to fight these fears, I have to remember to allow the dependents to hit bottom and pick themselves up; to give up romantic relationships and just stick with friends; to provide continuity to my kids, family and friends; to continue to do the best I can possibly do; to continue to invite God into my life and look for His tokens of love for me.... and to laugh a lot.

I'm not afraid of any physical crash and burn situation, just the mental ones.

Psychologists justifiably make their fortunes on fear and depression.


- © 2007 by Willy
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There's BS Everywhere

Surely you know that we live in an age of BS. When we listen to radio or TV, or read a newspaper, we're being fed mostly advertising, with just enough content to keep us interested. The boundary between ads and program is gone... we now have some ads that ARE merged with and are part of the program or content.

The only way to avoid this barrage is to leave the radio and TV off, or to stick your fingers in your ears as bullshit protectors.

It's not just where the camera shows some character drinking a specific brand of soft drink. An NBC news report tonight on sub-prime loans contained a dozen realtor and lender signs. One of the "3-second shot Cameos" was a banker, by-lined properly.

The TV news today was that Consumer's Report said Ford was increasing vehicle reliability. Can this be anything but an ad? How subjective is this?

I believe that we are bombarded every second of the day and night with ads, suggestions and commands... subtle or otherwise... not just from the media but also from our significant others, to influence and control us. Deception and Untruth are everywhere because there is no downside... deception works.

And thus the subtle poisoning of some of my friends by my "innocent" ex worked well too. I quit having lunch with acquaintances years ago because it ended up being a sales pitch for Amway, and I've quit committed relationships because they have all been cons.

This may be why I only watch TV that I've Tivo'ed and can fast-forward ads, why I prefer to ride and hike solo, and why I live by myself. There's comfort and relief in quietness.

- © 2007 by Willy