Happiness... On Relationships

My thinking on relationships... if you want to be with the one that makes you laugh, then you'd better find the levity to make yourself laugh first.

And/or just accept yourself and embrace the simple solitude. If so, then there's nobody to have to compromise with, nobody to distract me from Mother Nature, nobody to take away time with which to meditate... and nobody to ruin a beautiful sunset. That congruence, or lack of it, strikes me as funny.

My daughter pointed out to me that I have these cycles where for five or ten years I behave like a monk, then date somebody and get disgusted, returning to behaving like a monk for five or ten years.

I plan to add some damping to that cycle.

I plan to be happy.


-copyright 2014 by Willy

Old Friends

Old friend Amanda and I were having coffee yesterday, discussing various old age topics.

"I don't want to be a nuisance to anybody." I said.

"Well, it's too late for that!" she said.

"Haaa jaaa heee jeeeee!" we both roared, and kept on going like this for an hour or two.



Time flies, and regular coffee meetings with various old friends has become commonplace and very much something to look forward to. I'm sure we discuss the same topics, maybe even use the same jokes, and we always have fun. They are like a ray of sunshine.

And as healthy as regular cardio.


- © 2013 by Willy

A Smile to My Face

Q: "What makes life worth it?" A:"Anything that brings a smile to my face!"

If I ever make it to old age, it will be because of the smiles. Sure, there's motherhood and apple pie, family and friends, truly nice/beautiful people, the splendor of nature, the physics of detail, and so on. All of that matters... but number one is just good laughing-out-loud kind of fun smiles. My favorites are (1) Slapstick, as in the Pink Panther and Home Alone movie series, and (2) Silliness, like in absurdity... which is everywhere. I've got to laugh at political theater, among others (What? Do politicians really think we buy their drama?). Given a choice on what to watch on TV, I choose comedy... but with news a close second. The way I laugh at the news, somebody will surely take me away sometime. News has the silliest content ever. I choose to laugh until my belly hurts.

One item in the news today made me smile in a different way. Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, Connecticut, is getting absolutely swamped with mail. Floor to ceiling, semi truck loads... of handmade snowflakes, sympathy cards, favorite football cards and piggybank money. "It's awesome," said the PTA president. "From children, just like us," said a local child at the recent tragedy. "That much love multiplied this many times," said the narrator. It made me smile all over.

My new year's resolution is to smile more... every which way.

- © 2013 by Willy

Hiking Resume

OK, so if somebody asks for a resume... and it's to compete for a hike spot... what should I say? Ability, of course, but also I realize that it's a group, that I'll need to mention mental and physical fortitude with people as well as contributions and leadership. How about something like...

"My achievements are many. Hi, I'm Willy and I'm an engineer group leader. I mentor college co-ops and interns to take over for me, and put out fires. I also taught 20 years of evening classes at the local college. And I even taught Faith in Sunday School to High School seniors. I can write well too... have published 200 documents, mostly technical reports, conference and journal papers, but also am a published poet. I am really good on my feet... not only having gone through the Toastmasters curriculum early on but having pushed my club to achieve Top Ten international recognition. I am an excellent people leader and communicator.

"I like the hiking adventure. I've hiked and backpacked my whole life, progressively getting better, so that at age 62, I'm darned good. This year, I hiked Colorado twice, the Smokeys (four times), plus a segment of the AT. Last year it was Yosemite and its High Sierra camps loop, and another segment of the AT with my daughter, and more CO... I'm bagging peaks of CO 14ers as well as AT segments. Have done the Grand Canyon three times (including a rim-to-rim), Mt Hood wilderness, Big Bend, Yellowstone, Everglades, and etc. I conveniently have a mountain trailhead right out my backyard and hike locally three times a week, crosstraining with bicycling, weights and elliptic. I was a certified personal trainer. I'm a no-nonsense ultralighter. I'm not good at snow, but own crampons, snowshoes and axe. I like mother nature and the outdoors but I love the view from the top (like from Vogelsang saddle). I'm slow but sure, and have the demonstrated desire to climb.

"Yes, I do Facebook but only have 60 'Friends,' which is typical of my generation.

"Why am I a perfect fit for this? Because I have the demonstrated desire to climb. I'm in shape... both physical and mental shape. I like hiking, backpacking and climbing... and do it all the time. I'm a mature, seasoned and aged adventurer, so I know a few things I can contribute. I have the good attitude and enthusiasm for it. I'm fluent in Spanish, my original language. I have real friends... the face-to-face kind I drink a beer with. So... best of all... I have people skills."

That should do it. That's about what I turned in. We'll see how an aged adventurer rates.

- © 2012 by Willy

They Were Talking About Me

"Are you a Storm Chaser?" The two old ladies beamed big grins at me at Baggage Claim today. They were referring to my backpack, with tennis ball covering the tip of my protruding hiking pole and foam pad attached. I'm sure I impressed them, but not sure if it was the pole or the fact that I crammed the whole thing in the overhead compartment.

"Naaa... just out hiking for a few days." I said, and smiled back.

It's early in the year for my father-daughter bonding hike. This one in the Rockies but at moderate altitudes... around nine or ten thousand feet. Cold temperatures and snow expected as well as many interesting conversations.

One of several topics of conversation tonight was keeping small things from stressing her. "Small fish versus big fish like my dissertation."

I look forward to these every year. Yes, the talk as well as the hikes.

- © 2012 by Willy

Sing Song

"Love me tender, love me sweet, never let me go..."

I've been hearing that refrain all day, perhaps due to my noticing of tomorrow's play of the 1956 Elvis movie on the tube. I whistled it continuously during my long Thanksgiving day before-dinner hike today.

When I was a kid... before Elvis... my mother sang a fairly similar lullaby. I felt very cuddled in hearing it. In turn, I hummed this Elvis tune to my kids to relax them at bedtime. Not only that, but I still self-medicate to this ditty. Lullabies are meant to function just so, and work amazingly well.

I'm in the midst of some turmoil: A nutty young punk threatened to beat me up and has evoked memories of early school bullies. I've been sleeping with a shotgun, and Elvis calms me down.

Or perhaps I was hearing God's lullaby.

Prayers can be the darnest things... whistling a lullaby!

More conventional: "For exercise to calm the body and prayer to calm the mind, I am truly thankful, amen."

It's best to accept the situation, prepare for a possible eventuality, and go through channels... calmly.


- non-Elvis text © 2011 by Willy

Hike Ended, and On The Way Home

"The more insecurities, the more you pack," remarked daughter Jennifer. She packed her dad.

We were on our way on the yearly backpacking trip that has become a tradition. This one in Maine, where she finished last year but also where she had a heartbreak. She wanted to show me Maine's beauty and also to get back on the horse that threw her.


"It's a four-holer, and has toilet paper... it's Ritzy!" I said. The daughter laughed. I was referring to the privy at the White House Landing, a hiker's little-piece-of-heaven in Maine's Appalachian Trail's 100-Mile Wilderness. It was my fifth and last day of 43 miles, which included seven mountains and 11,000 ascent-feet. But this year the rains came only at night, so it was a much more enjoyable experience than last year's White Mountains.

The only thing that went wrong was that it's raining today, which we were going to use for a seaplane ride of Mt Katahdin (this old man can't climb Katahdin!). Well, OK, the flies were bad too, but expected.

We heard all kinds of trail drama from all kinds of people. My daughter the psychologist people-person thoroughly enjoys this. I marvel at her people skills, and am amazed at the huge variance of reasons for hiking the A.T., but that discussion would be long.

"I'm not going to marry anyone that can't hike a 100-mile wilderness," said the daughter, starting yet another bonding conversation. We talked about all the fake and lazy people in both our lives. "The divorce was bad, but I got to go backpacking," said the true enthusiast. She uses hiking as meditation and problem-solving time. It's a sweet solution that works well for her.

Everyone hikes his own hike.


- © 2010 by Willy

Exit Strategy

Johnnie and Jane went trick or treating on Halloween and knocked on an old lady's door, who gave them candy but felt it odd to close the door on them because they just stood there instead of running off to the next house, so she asked "What's the matter, kids?" and Johnnie said "We don't have an exit strategy."

Before you laugh: Afghanistan is costing us a million dollars per soldier per year.

A good joke can be reused. This one came out years ago and it was about President Bush on Iraq. President Clinton had Somalia and Bosnia, and it could have definitely been used with President Johnson on Viet Nam. The only difference is that this year "exit strategy" is called "off-ramp." It's all the same. It is unfortunate that we keep finding ourselves in the same spot, year after year, but I have to trust that our President knows a hell of a lot more than I do.

But wait... maybe I should apply this to my personal life. I should think ahead and ask myself "how am I going to get out of this" before I do anything. If I had, I would not have dated, gotten engaged, married, nor had kids (now you can laugh). I've made mistakes year after year. So, now, and in the future, I will not even date. I'm going to stick to the predictable, the reliable, even the boring... to what I know... solo... that has a built-in exit strategy. I will keep a much lower profile ("remain in the noise floor" in engineering), because I will not enter.

Versus the more common exit strategy of leaving once they get some.



- text © 2009 by Willy

P.S., That I need what I know is yet another blog.

Lock Up?

"We lock up more of our citizens per capita than brutal dictators like Robert Mugabe and Fidel Castro," wrote Cynthia Tucker in her request to end the War on Drugs.

I've got news for her. In the early 1960's, Castro's Cuban revolutionaries shot the entire previous party dead... up against a wall. No going to see a judge. It was televised, day in and day out. "Paredon!" they chanted. Thousands and thousands died, so there was no locking them up in the hoosegow. And many of the ones that were lucky enough to get to jail ended up dead anyway, due to starvation and sickness. Rape, murder and looting (in that order) were wholesale and only deterred by hefty walls and demonstration of defensive gunfire. No getting caught and going to jail for that, since the murderers were the new revolutionary party. Then in the 1980's, Fidel sent his prisoners here via the Mariel Boatlift and emptied his jails.

Since then, news and pictures have appeared of dissidents being beaten to death at the US Special Interest Section in Cuba ("the embassy")... no need to lock them up either.

Yes, Cynthia, brutal dictator Fidel Castro doesn't lock up the citizens... he kills them instead. Your statement is an insult.

"Tijuana authorities found 275 pounds of marijuana and a half-completed tunnel under the border," quipped Jay Leno, "Wonder why the tunnel was only half completed?"

Dahhh! Is it better to laugh with Leno and be ignorant like Tucker, or be stressed with the truth?


- text © 2009 by Willy

Check it off?

"Check that one off your bucket list!" said pastor Keith's friend at breakfast today.

I had just bragged to Keith that I was kicked out of a gym for the first time, at age 60.

The manager told me the rules were there to keep out the riffraff. Yep, those were his words. I broke the rule: I was wearing a tank top at the new Gold's Gym. Yes, a Gold's! So, I'm baaad, I'm bad, come on... you know it (Michael Jackson).

Oh, well, their dumbbells only went up to 65 anyway. Yes, 65... at a Gold's! The manager said that this, too, was to keep out the riffraff (yes, he did). If I had joined this Gold's I would have turned into a wuss like him. I'm keeping my current gyms and activities instead.

So, thanks to Gold's, I'm walking taller today. I needed it... I got word last week that my friend Kara died of leukemia. She was 44. Was quite the angel. A great loss.

- © 2009 by baaad Willy

If Not Money and Sex, Then What?

Freud said it's all about money (or power) and sex, and it seems to me that things have gotten even worse with those two in my lifetime. In a previous page I remarked that there used to be what is a now-missing code of ethics. Best friends betray due to outright sexual invitation from another's wife. Members of church prayer groups lose their retirement in investment embezzlement from one of their own. These events happen periodically and repeatedly, and there doesn't seem to be enough shame nor honor to prevent it. This is depressing! Where is the world going to? How do I get off?

Is there a way to deal with it? Is there another... attraction? Is there another reason to stay in this world?

I have said that I have found some very rare individuals that are responsible, mature, kind, helpful, trusting, contributing, complimenting and respectful... with a good positive attitude, who enjoy life and do the right thing, no matter what. These are as rare as jewels, and I call them angels. I cultivate and treasure these friendships, and love these individuals, because they give me hope, a reason to live and an emotional hug. They contribute.

I prefer being around these people and I keep a smile around them.

I keep having to remind myself of this.

Live well, love often and laugh much.

- © 2008 by Willy
.

Not From Around Here

I've lived in this very small southern city for 37 years, but I'm not from around here and neither is anybody else. Population here tentupled in the last fifty years. We live in California, whereas the rest of the state is in the south. The only rednecks I know are imported and playing at construction.

This, indeed, is a lovely city. Not just for its great jobs and low poverty, low crime and no fear, beautiful view of valleys and mountains, terrific outdoor recreation, and lack of traffic congestion... but also because of its people. Not only do we have many outstanding citizen, but we seem to lack the large mass of idiots pervasive in most societies. Oh, we do have the occasional bigot and bully, but at least an order of magnitude lower than other places. People are genuine and sincerely nice, and there is comparatively little animosity or strife. I have true happiness and a feeling of comfort which is not true outside the city.

For example, a while ago I tried to buy me a gentleman's farm in the surrounding area. Tried several times, actually. Realized that the local country bumpkins were too much for me... at squeezing more money and at neglecting to say the truth (like the land won't pass a perk test for septic tank).

Then there's the neighbors who have a meth lab, the boys that have hunted in that land for generations, and the bubbas that have nothing to do and are jealous, spiteful and destructive... while you work.

So I gave it up, decided to stay in this wonderful city and be glad that I'm not from around here.

- © 2008 by Willy

P.S., yes, I'm still a machine person versus a people person.
.

Kindness

Kindness is helping someone in need, not in return for anything, nor for the advantage of the helper, but for that of the person helped (Aristotle). At least that is the classical thought and definition.

It is a rare delight to meet that unusual and admirable person with the easy-flowing kind words and nice smile. Nice words don't cost a cent but produce miraculous results to a wounded spirit. But take another look at this kind person, and recognize what this act of kindness does back to him or her.

It is said we should be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle... you and me both.

How necessary is kindness? I can't think of anything more important in life. Like love, kindness is its own language, and can be sometimes confused with love. Kindness and love are the most curative agents in human interaction (Nietzsche). And this cure affects both the doctor and the patient.

Choose to be kind and good-natured... you will do irreparable good to yourself.

- © 2008 by Willy

P.S., How do you change the world? One small act of kindness at a time.

.

Behavior

There's this funny little bird with tall legs called a Killdeer.

I hear them before I see them while bicycling and hiking, sounding "titiiiuuuu, titiiiuuu." It likes to hang out on muddy creeks and build its nest right on the ground, which is not a smart thing to do, since predators would have an easy time eating eggs and young. The Killdeer's solution is to decoy the predator away from its nest, singing its "titiiiuuuu, titiiiuuu" while walking away. To find the nest all I have to do is look where he's coming from, not where he is.

I'm sure that, to a higher being, we too are funny little people, with odd behavior... demonstrating hate, anger, fear, pain, lust and love, for whatever reason (usually selfish). And I'm also sure that the higher being can see right through us and tell what we're up to by where we're coming from.

Maybe we can too.

Matter of fact, I'm convinced that we are a great source of both entertainment and sadness to a higher being.

And to me too.

- text © 2008 by Willy
.

Ode to mentor

I just buried my friend Bob. He lived to be 72 but had diabetes, and I was surprised that he lasted this long. Bob was a technical tutor or mentor to me and other young men for thirtysome years.

On the other hand, he had his buddies too. His lunchtime bridge games were comical and entertaining. It took 8 pall bearers because 5 were his age. I felt I was carrying the entire thing, quite the honor.

Bob had one note on a wall: "Lack of planning on your part does not make it an emergency on my part." I now have the same on my own wall.

He used to tell us to be tough and smart enough so that others don't take you or your work for granted.

Bob was as jovial as they come. If he wasn't in his office, I just listened for his laughter to find him.

Goodbye, Bob. I miss you.

-© 2008 by Willy

P.S. This was certainly closure. A mental exercise or simulation of which tremendously helped with my ex's relationship closure. This is a mental picture and technique to store in my toolbox.

.

Understanding Engineers

An engineer is born, not made. Shocking, isn't it? He's the kid who blows the fuses, breaks his own nose, almost drowns in a pool, collects every neighborhood TV thrown out, actually liked High School math and science, and stays a virgin through college. The one that had an uncontrollable urge to show his parents better ways to do things, even though they didn't care.

Beware of wolves in geek guise... a degree does not an engineer make!

For a true engineer, happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in depth... happiness is to tinker. An engineer doesn't idle well.

True engineers know Pi, e, c, the square root of 2, the sine of 30, and the log of 5... just because. Who wouldn't?

Engineers think highly of their abilities. Surely you've heard of the old codger of a retired engineer who was called by his company to figure out what was wrong with an old machine. He listened to it then wrote equations on the chalkboard and finally circled his answer. When asked to itemize his bill, he wrote "Chalk $1, knowing what to write $9,999." He was hoping his old company wouldn't bother him again.

To an engineer, shaft alignment is critical, but not sexual harassment. When you overhear him muttering he's going to pump it 'till it blows, he's just having trouble conducting a test. When he asks "Are you getting enough head?" he is problem-solving, not prying into your personal life. However, he might get in trouble with the procurement gal when he asks her for some nipples.

In engineerese, when an engineer tells you that he'll look into it, he is not brushing you off... but it will take him a while to play with it. Everything to him is either things that needs fixing or a thing that will need fixing after he plays with it. Engineers like to solve problems, so if there is no problem, he will create his own.

No engineer looks at a gadget, like a television remote control, without wondering what it would take to turn it into something more "useful." Those new defibrillators showing up in hallways make great bench power supplies.

There are two kinds of engineers: the ones who like risk and the ones who don't. The ones who like risk become rocket scientists, and the others become their managers.

The fastest way for a manager to solve an engineering problem is to declare that the problem is unsolvable. No engineer can walk away from an unsolvable problem until it's solved. No illness or distraction is sufficient to get the engineer off the case.

Another management ploy is to threaten to give the tough problem to another engineer. Nothing is worse to an engineer than the suggestion that somebody else has more technical skill.

Thus, engineers don't like their managers. An engineer figures that the less you know, the more you make... and can prove this mathematically. Geeks may inherit the earth but have no wish to rule it, so a manager will stay out of the engineer's way if he knows what's good for him.

Engineers are different from mathematicians. For one thing, engineers don't shine their shoes. Also, whereas a mathematician believes in eventually reaching the correct answer to 10 places, engineers believe a two-digit guess now is good enough.

And our Southern engineers are different from their Yankee brethren. Only our engineers would calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support an 8-pound possum 6 feet from the trunk (know the answer?).

An engineer not in a relationship has the ability to concentrate on one subject to the complete exclusion of everything else in the environment. This sometimes causes engineers to be accused of sleeping on the job or pronounced dead prematurely. It's best to just wait and see if he comes out of it... with an answer.

Engineers are always honest in matters of technology and human relationships. That's why it's a good idea to keep engineers away from customers, romantic interests, and other people who can't handle the truth.

Clothes are the lowest priority for an engineer. Assuming the basic needs for warmth and decency have been satisfied, anything else is a waste.

An engineer's objectives for boring social interaction is to get it over with as soon as possible, or to avoid getting invited to begin with. Engineers prefer machines. Some non-geeks say engineers ARE machines... we appreciate the compliment.

Dating is tough for engineers. Others create a false impression of attractiveness, but engineers are incapable of placing appearance above function.

Unfortunately, engineers are widely recognized as superior marriage material: intelligent, dependable, employed, honest, and handy around the house or fixing your PC... and have high-paying jobs long before losing their virginity... resulting in the inevitable disrupting divorce with child support and alimony. Wolves abound on all sides.

As an aside, if you are a young engineer, my suggestion is to get a vasectomy NOW, while you can... too late for me, save yourself!

Eventually, this too is forgotten because, to the engineer, the world is a wonderful toy box full of sub-optimized and feature-poor toys to play with.

- © 2007 by Willy
.

Fears

I have my fears, like everybody else. My fears don't drive me but detour me.

I'm afraid of doing too much for the dependant types out there, because they will never learn how to take care of themselves or others. And what a world we'd have if everybody was in lululand and nobody knew how to take care. Oh... we're there already!

I'm afraid of some people's unlimited appetite for cruelty. I can't ever predict what people are going to do... but I do know for certain that intimates have screwed up my life. I know that intimates started nice but eventually demanded control and pressed every button to be cruel and mentally abusive. Machines can't be cruel or abusive.

I'm afraid to love again, fall in unrequited love again, and get depressed again. This last honey about killed me with "love."

I'm afraid of being forced into a lack of continuity... like getting abandoned by friends or family, having to move, losing my memories due to fire, having to change jobs, and the like.

Isn't everyone afraid?

Scientists at Tokyo University say they were able to successfully switch off a mouse's instinct to cower at the smell or presence of cats - showing that fear is genetically hardwired and not learned through experience, as commonly believed.

Saint Thomas Aquinas said that hopelessness and despair are the devil's main weapon against us.

In order to fight these fears, I have to remember to allow the dependents to hit bottom and pick themselves up; to give up romantic relationships and just stick with friends; to provide continuity to my kids, family and friends; to continue to do the best I can possibly do; to continue to invite God into my life and look for His tokens of love for me.... and to laugh a lot.

I'm not afraid of any physical crash and burn situation, just the mental ones.

Psychologists justifiably make their fortunes on fear and depression.


- © 2007 by Willy
.

Once Upon a Time

True stories from my wonderful world...

After joking about my embarrassment during vasectomy, a surgical nurse friend of mine (who wants to remain nameless) told me a better story. They had scrubbed, gowned and masked, and were starting a hemorrhoid surgery. The poor guy's butt was on a jig, up in the air. The surgery room was busy with preparations. Wrongly assuming that the anesthesia had taken hold, the nurse says out loud "Nice butt!" and slaps it. The patient responds with "Thanks" to everyone's giggles. Then he got aroused, to even more giggles! She said it's a good thing she was masked so the poor guy would not recognize her later.

Upon hearing that I hurt myself at the gym, my friend Jim answered with this: "I hope you are feeling better soon. I do not want to rub it in, BUT, I have never injured myself getting my Lean Cuisine meals out of the freezer case, through the checkout line, and home to my freezer. Now I know you have been trying to entice me to commit suicide and join you at the gym. Well, I feel that I have chosen the better part. If you would like to accompany me on my next trip to the freezer case, I will come and pick you up, take you to the super market, get you a wheel chair, push you around the store and return you home safe and sound."

As a young man, painting my first house for the first time, I was at the top corner or gable end trying to paint the facia boards next to the roof when I noticed these eyes looking at me thru the slats. Not knowing the size of the teeth that went with those eyes, I decided to descend the ladder and find something to shoo the vermin. I found the wasp spray before I found the broom, so I went back up, sprayed the eyes from a safe distance away, and... lo and behold, it came straight at me! I fell off the ladder into the bushes. Looking up from the ground I see this bat fluttering slowly away. Surprised would be too mild a description.

My friend Roger... a source of constant fun and amusement... had a blind date this past Halloween. He tells me he actually scared her by showing up at her home on Halloween in a rubber mask of an eerie looking man. When he knocked at her door, the date, a very attractive woman, thought he was a bum from a slum area of town and locked her front door before Roger could come in!

Yes, it trully is a wonderful world, just as Louie Armstrong said.

- © 2007 by Willy
.

It's Time

After the figurative bomb went off, I vented for months. It may have done me good, although I have nothing to compare it to. In any case, looking back through this blog, I see that my craziness, my hurt, my grief, and my anger has lately subsided, although some remains. It's been slowly replaced by a sense of warmth, happiness, peace and calmness.

I've been busy at work and I've been busy at home, and getting busier. In the last six months, I've solved many a technical and people problem, unclogging many a toilet, with more to go. I've gotten in nice physical shape... earning many compliments... have had a lot of fun, pedaled and hiked to the extreme, and laughed a lot. Did a significant amount of business and personal vacation travel both. I've cleaned up the house, spending huge amounts of money and time updating the house to sell... but it looks sooo good now that I'm staying!

I don't have interest in further grieving... or in irrational or emotional thinking. I don't really care what the fools are up to. I'm happy, life is good, injuries are manageable, and I'm enjoying life in its many splendors.

It's time to dust myself off and get on with it.

-©2007 by Willy

P.S., I will continue to write, though.
.

Indicator I Was Doing Better

I laughed!

It's been a day-by-day progression out of depression and back into a life with a more positive outlook. It's been five months, and now I can laugh at the whole relationship foible. And now I can laugh at her too. She threw us away, but did us both a favor. If we did not think of the relationship as valuable enough to work at it and save it (and we didn't), then we should have split years ago... if we had a relationship at all to begin with. I found an email dated 2 months after she moved in, documenting problems that we never did solve 4 years later. Funny how hope prolongs your agony.

Now I'm happier, stronger and fitter. With continuing work to get hunk again to pre-relationship levels. I feel better physically and mentally, and look forward to the morning. I sleep better and say "Good morning, God!" rather than "Good God... morning!"

I doubt there will be any contact by her in the future, but if there is, I am not responding. That book is closed and burned. The thunder and lightning is over, and my mind is clear again. And, did I mention... I'm laughing!

-©2007 by Willy
.